Hey y’all. I know this question has been asked to death, but I just wanted to get an outside opinion on my situation.
My bf (23) and I (26) have been together for about 2 years now. We met at work and we just hit it off instantly. It took us about a year to start dating though cause we were both kinda scared lol. We have very good chemistry and so far the relationship has been a breeze, we get along very well and very rarely argue or bicker. We plan on a future together and everything.
The only real issue that has arose is my male friend. I’ve known this guy for almost 10 years now and we also met at a previous job. When we first met, I did have a crush on him, but he shut that down immediately and made it very clear that I wasn’t his type. My romantic feelings for him died then and there, but he was still a very good friend so we just went on and pretended like that conversation never happened.
When we were younger, we used to hang out very regularly, maybe once or twice a week. He is very crafty and a very good gift giver, so he’s made me all kinds of cool things and bought me a lot of gifts.
We stopped hanging out around covid, because I used to live with a very high risk family member. Since then the friendship has become somewhat distant, we only really text every couple weeks now. But, here recently he’s been trying to hang out again, which doesn’t really sit well with my bf.
I did fully disclose with my bf for the sake of honesty that I used to have a crush on him, but that those feelings are completely dead now and the friendship is solely platonic. My bf has been cheated on a lot in past relationships, so I see where he’s coming from with his weariness. I offered to cut things off with my friend if that would make him feel more comfortable, but he said that he doesn’t want to control me and tell me who my friends should be. He says he trusts me, but he says in the back of his mind he still worries. He worries that my friend might have more to provide for me given his age and maturity.
I don’t want to ever do anything that might betray his trust or our relationship. How do I handle this?
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It’s up to him to handle his insecurities. You are a horrible friend if you would throw a friendship away for an insecure guy.
So your BF isn’t comfortable with a friend you confessed you had interest in? He wasn’t interested then, but wants to hang out now?
I’m team boyfriend here.
Here’s how you should handle it imo:
Hopefully your friend does his best to be nice and non-threatening and everyone can relax and get along 🙂
He’s trying to get back into your life? Yeah, straight males in their 30’s don’t try to get back into the lives of women that they used to know, unless it is for non-platonic reasons.