We been dating for about 3 years now. He has a son already from his previous relationship. I don’t have any kids. We talked about having a family and our future together. He knows I want kids. He told me he wants another within the next year. We both agreed. Recently we haven’t been so careful about me getting pregnant. We would do it when I’m ovulating for the past 4 months now. I kept wondering why I wasn’t getting pregnant.. I started to think something was wrong with me. I mentioned it to him before and he said “no can’t be. I might be shooting blanks.” I always brushed it off and said “no don’t say that.. we don’t know that.” Just recent we were talking about it again and he said it again “I’m shooting blanks I’m telling you” and I said “no no no you wouldn’t be unless you got a vasectomy” and then he finally said “I did.” And I said “shut up don’t mess around like that.” He said “I’m not lying.” We kept going back and forth and I just couldn’t believe it and kept asking and asking. Until finally it snuck in and realized it. So this whole time you built this fantasy of having a family with me knowing he cannot give me that. I felt heart broken. Sad. Devastated. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that, that’s was his choice. But never telling me and not giving me the decision of deciding my future hurts. I’m in love with him but now I don’t know if I want to be with him. This hurts. I don’t want to sacrifice being a mom to be with him.
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lol run girl.
You don’t have to stay? You can break up? Like he went beyond just lying.
check and see if its reversible
check if either of you are even fertile is always step 1
but I’m a big believer in people are taught in a way that is an injustice, always assuming they are fertile from when they are young, I see it leading to mental breaks
He lied and led you on for three years. Please let that sink in. Three years he kept up the lie, even being so cruel as to make you think you’d be getting pregnant soon.
I mean…did he at least try to explain why he kept this from you?
Wtf this is psychotic behavior on his part to not tell you this so long ago.
Well then don’t sacrifice being a mom! The ah lied to you for THREE years!!! What else is he lying about? I wouldn’t ever be able to trust someone again after finding that out.
Don’t ever sacrifice what you want in life and your happiness for a liar. What he has just shown to you IS NOT LOVE.
Sis – you’ll get over the heartbreak – you will not get over giving up being a mother.
Updateme
>now I don’t know if I want to be with him.
Honestly: why would you? He actively lied to you. He took part in your fantasy whilst lying.
>I don’t want to sacrifice being a mom to be with him.
Don’t. He doesn’t deserve you. You shouldn’t be with someone who lies to you.
Him lying to you about something that important for that long is unforgivable. Dump him.
I know you don’t want to quit the relationship because of all the time you’ve put in. Starting over sounds hard. But this man purposely withheld life altering news while pretending to try to conceive?that’s cruel
Its better to start over now than in 3 more years.
That is so fucking heinous. Leave his ass
He lied to you. I would leave him.
I would’ve packed my bags and left. Pretending to want and even trying for kids while intentionally being infertile and not saying a thing until you start to doubt yourself. Toxic.
That would be break up worthy if I was you. I wouldn’t even stay if he made plans to get the vasectomy reversed. That is such a huge piece of information to keep form you. I’d never trust him again.
He led you on. He gave you false hope, knowing well that he can’t get you pregnant.
I mean… he hasn’t even asked to marry you.
Seems like a one-sided relationship..
Damn, that’s cold.
Wow, 3 years of deceit is very hard to overcome. The sad thing is he knew if he got you to fall in love with him, he would leave you to make an impossible choice. To me, it speaks so much to his true character. It is such a selfish thing to do to someone else. He has robbed you of not only the decision but precious years to have met someone who wants what he promised you, fully knowing he had no real intentions of giving it to you. I couldn’t get over that big of a betrayal of trust and honestly, no matter how I thought I felt about him.
This is a massive lie that he happily told you for three years. He even used it to get extra unprotected sex from you.
Get out of there.
He lied to you constantly for 3 years. That is not the way someone that cares about you behaves.