Like I said in the title we just ended our relationship this week due to growing as people at different rates after three years. Some context I am a first gen student so I focused a lot on my career and he was aware of this. However, it came at the cost of me not being supportive enough when he needed. I didn’t help out with cooking, cleaning, etc. He would bring it up a few times but not in a concerning way so I brushed it off (not on purpose). Once I started realizing this a few months ago I started working to improve by helping out more when we made dinner, cleaning up, etc. But he was tired of it and the lack of support and how I never opened myself so much. My own fear of being vulnerable cost my relationship and I want to be vulnerable and supportive with him. I want to be there when he’s sad, happy, anything just like he was for me. I want to make dinner for him, go out with him and be reckless. Due to life experiences I was always expected to act like an adult I never was my age and I just want to go out and party with him just like he likes. I am devastated that it ended because I want to be all the things he wants but my upbringing emotionally stunted me. I want to be a better partner with him he is the loml and I don’t want to lose him. Anyway this is my rant and I’m just looking for advice in the sense of me trying to ask to go to couples therapy like his therapist suggested and see how it goes. None of use wanted the relationship to end and we still love each other very much.
TLDR:
We broke up this week after 3 years because we grew at different paces. I’m a first-gen student who focused on my career, and I unintentionally neglected emotional and practical support in our relationship. I’ve started trying to change, but he felt it was too late. I realize my fear of vulnerability and emotionally distant upbringing held me back. I still love him deeply, want to be better for him, and I’m devastated. I’m considering asking him to try couples therapy like his therapist suggested, since we both still love each other and didn’t truly want it to end.