TLDR; we’ve been together for about a year now and were in a situation for 4 years before that. It was his move to make it official, start calling me gf. It was also his initiative that made him move in with me. Now after having met someone “attractive” that he likes, he says he’s been suppressing his feelings all along and now wants to end things unless I can reach his standards of beauty.
Me (35/F) and my now ex (36/M) I guess have the most incredible relationship when it comes to communication, day to day living, future plans, security, fun, sex everything. The only thing he doesn’t like about me is how I look. He’s in the public eye and says that it’s not even about our family and friends say/think cos they love me and know what a “gem of a person” I am. It’s the looks from strangers that say “really? That’s the girl he’s with?” Or “that’s his gf” that get to him.
Now after almost a year of building a life together, making future plans, having me put all my guards down, he decided I am not his ideal type and therefore he needs to be true to himself and break up with me.
I can’t breathe, I can’t eat, my whole world literally spins through the day and all I do is cry cos I don’t understand how he can’t see everything else that we have. The stuff people look for all their lives, only to have it all destroyed by one encounter with someone who doesn’t even live here.
I dunno how to move on, my entire life had become about him. I wanna scream and tell him I’m real, I’m here, she’s not. Don’t leave me! Don’t give up on us. But I think he’s already made up his mind and I just don’t know what to do.
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Are you serious? What kind of an amazing relationship can you even have if he’s putting down your looks?
Love yourself and say good riddance to this bozo
Yup, kick his ass tot he curb. Don’t even know how else to put it but you just gotta move on from this jerk. Clearly doesn’t deserve any ounce of mental capacity. This guy isn’t worth crying over or thinking what went wrong. He went wrong. If he was able to leave you so easy for someone better, he isn’t worth your time whatsoever.
It isn’t amazing if he’s willing to throw you away like trash. Dump him and pick up a therapist and grow a backbone for yourself you’re 35 not 95 you have a whole lotta life left
Ngl this is horrible no matter how things turn out. You should’ve seen this coming, you probably made many mistakes along the way to end up here with this pos
You’re lucky. The trash is taking itself out and you don’t need to do it. He’s like a little kid’s pool, shallow and full of piss. Move on to better things.
Oh he sounds like an absolute catch NOT…. ew….ew and ew….. he’s the one that’s ugly. Don’t look back girl.
Nothing you do or say can change him. All you can do, is focus on self improvement. We can’t make a particular person want us, all we can do is be the best person we can be, and hope we get lucky enough to attract a person who we like back.
I only read one paragraph and I can already tell that he doesn’t love you for who you are. And even if he did love you, it’s a conditioned love which will never work. I’m sorry but I think you’re better off without him. You will heal.
He simply found someone new and negging you. He wants a break and only thing he thought of to say is about your looks. This hurts a lot, I’m sure! Go get that pint of ice cream, watch “An Affair to Remember” and cry your eyes out for an evening. Then the next day, get on the dating apps and find someone new. You are not too old. I bet you a dollar for donuts you will find someone who thinks you are beautiful!! He is not worth you spending any more time thinking about “what ifs”
It always harder to take advice than read it (if that make sense) you could definitely just dismiss comments easily and my all means there probably are some that you should and know one will ever know your relationship or circumstances perfectly. He sounds like a pretty good partner but WTF saying your not attractive enough is crazy if you truly love someone you find them attractive, maybe you reconize they need to lose weight or smth but you care because of their health not what other people think or “attractiveness” and if it’s what is sounds like you deserve better and you won’t realise you deserved more till you are with someone who makes u feel like u are enough in every way. Again tho take every comment as a stranger online because they all are KNOW ONE KNOWS YOU AND UR CIRCUMSTANCES EXACTLY.
Girl stop crying and starting hating! I hate him for you now! He’s a monster!
So he strung you along for four years before finally calling you his girlfriend and now he’s met someone “hotter” he is breaking up with you?
Eww babe no.
The only ugly thing here is his personality. Tell him to GTFO and block his number and all his socials so he doesn’t come crawling back when that “hot girl” rejects him.
He doesn’t love you
let him go. he will only destroy you. looks fade and none of us die as a ten when we’ve been blessed to live a long life. Don’t let the stress of being with this man steal your shine and cause you to age faster.
by the way you tell it, he is giving up an amazing reality for an unknown fantasy. he doesn’t appreciate you for all that you are. That’s his loss. you may not hear it now but I hope one day you understand it to be true
Honestly, you dodged a bullet. What an incredibly shallow idiot…..
Look, my wife of 30 years is by far not the prettiest woman i’ve met. Instead she’s the most desireable one, because of her total package. She was when she had her 24 yo killer body, she was when she was 9 months pregnant (that glow…) and she still is now age added some wrinkles and menopause some 30 pounds (yes, new curves to admire).
That is love and that’s what you want, not that shallow idiot. Just let him go.
You deserve a kind man who loves everything about you. This guy is unbelievably cruel to you after 5 years. Let him go!
Let him go, no one deserves to be valued for their looks alone. If life can feel this good with the wrong person, imagine how amazing it’ll be with the right one.
I’m so sorry that this shallow prick tricked you into opening your heart to him. He cares more about what STRANGERS think about your looks than he does about EVERY SINGLE POSITIVE THING you bring to the relationship. What a bastard.
And if you stayed together he would almost definitely chip away at your self confidence piece by piece and try to change you and shape you into whatever he thinks is attractive. And you don’t need that. Read this for what I’m talking about: https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a5380/millionaire-starter-wife/
It hurts right now, and you have to feel that so that you can get through it, but in the long run he has done you a favour, you can do about a million times better. He’s not the one. Let him end it, then let yourself be angry, let yourself cry, let your friends badmouth him over drinks, all the clichés really do help a bit. And then pick yourself back up, hold your head up high, and move on. And let that take time if it needs to.
You dodged a bullet. This is an absolutely horrible person. Normal people break up for normal reasons. This guy has been cheating and instead of taking accountability for his actions… he is blaming you and shattering your self esteem. Honestly I am so angry at him on your behalf. There is nothing wrong with your looks. He just can’t reconcile his flattering view of himself… with his own actions…
This guy sounds like an amazingly shallow a**hole. Shallow, because who the hell chooses their girlfriend based on what other people might think of her looks? An a**hole because even when breaking up with someone you do NOT blame it on them not looking pretty enough.
Be happy that you got rid of him.
I know you are heartbroken but listen.. you shouldn’t want him to come back and not leave you because even if he did, you now know always in the back of your mind that’s how he views you and your worth. He probably will come back around but just so you know.. You will never feel safe onwards. You will start to act like a circus monkey trying to please him and in the end it’s still not enough because you will never meet his standards and as soon as some wind blows he will be gone with it. I can only imagine how terrible you must feel right now. That’s absolutely devastating what he did.. but you have to let him go. You have so much to give and I’m sure you are beautiful as well, don’t become his punch bag. The real man will see you for who you are and your looks will come only more beautiful day by day for the right person.
What future can you have with a guy that says that about you?
The cheeky git! Girl don’t be sad be MAD, how dare he waste a year of your life and then disrespect you in a way designed to ruin your self esteem! If he’s never liked your looks then he’s built your relationship on a lie and used you until he found something better and that makes him trash – never let him back.
You deserve better than this shallow loser who cares so much about what people think!! He will regret this, so please move on and live your life and never take him back because he will be back.