Lately we’ve been on the rocks. I’ve been trying to work through the relationship and takes almost no accountability at all for the problems he’s caused on his end. My BF threatens to breakup with me all the time and when he does, he breaks up with me, blocks me and then calls me back and pretends like nothing has happened. He tells me to put effort into it and I have been. I’ve been going to therapy, going the work, and I’ve been more romantic lately saying I love you.
When I say “I love you” to him, he only says “Thank you.”
Today I said it again because i do miss him and i love him and he said “thank you.” Then said he had to go to an appointment. He didn’t say it back and when I told him I understand that he doesn’t have to say it back, he said “thank you for making me sad again. You’re just guilting me.”
I didn’t intend to guilt him but he’s flipped it on me multiple times like this. He said he’s turning off his phone for the day. It’s been on edge like this for a long time especially after I say “I love you” and I express some kind of sadness about it not being reciprocated.
Is the relationship worth saving at all?
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Mabey he doesn’t love you and that means you should dump him and break up with him
Easy how to proceed:
Say to him, “Thank you.” If he doesn’t reply, “I love you.” At least you will not have made the fool more than keep calling him bf.
Leave that relationship, my dear…
> My BF threatens to breakup with me all the time and when he does, he breaks up with me, blocks me and then calls me back and pretends like nothing has happened.
It’s time for you to do this for real. And you know it. It’s exactly what you’d advise your sibling or best friend if this were happening to them.
> He said he’s turning off his phone for the day
Honestly, when he turns his phone back on, it should be to the “ding ding” of your text message saying “I’m breaking up with you and I’ve blocked you”. I say this fully realizing you may not do this, but I hope I’ve planted the seed and I hope you’ll do it soon, this guy is treating you like absolute shit and shouldn’t try to fix it, he is so far below the bare minimum standard, it’s not worth it.
he sounds emotionally abusive. stonewalling you, withholding affection and generally manipulative. one-sided relationships can’t work. please leave him.
You are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you should end it and move on. You should be blocking him, not the other way around.
That sounds like more work than needed.
Yes all relationships take work but he makes everything exhausting!!
I would take some time apart.
He is acting like he is in highschool not an adult relationship.
He is being very manipulative and knows how to keep you the way he wants you to be.
I would seriously sit back, look at this relationship and make a pros and cons.
I personally would have been gone a few months ago.
Maybe it’s time you break up with him
He doesn’t like you honey. Breakup with him and move on.
Yeah didn’t even read past the first paragraph. You’re 28, he’s 23. A man older than you is still probably going to be less mature than you. Please just break up.
It’s been 2 years. If he wanted to say it, he would. I’d understand if the relationship was still new, because I’ve been like that (I once got dumped 3 days into a relationship because when he told me he loved me, I told him I was fond of him… though, I was still in high school when that happened). At this point in a relationship, though, you two should be considering your future together and what your next steps are. The whole “I love you” and “thank you” bullshit is just that. Bullshit.
Read your post, and tell me that’s a person who reciprocates your feelings, because I don’t believe he’s someone who does.
OP. At 23 he’s still a virtual child whilst you are rocking on towards the big 30. You are wasting your time expecting maturity and decency from him. AND ! He’s all but told you that he doesn’t value your relationship.
Don’t mistake him accepting sexual favours for any type of committed relationship. Turn YOUR phone off. Watch how long it takes him to try to contact you (If at all). Read your own narrative as many times as necessary until this message sinks in.
Do not waste any more of your valuable time on this disrespectful, disingenuous twat. Good luck. ❤️
Sounds emotionally abusive to me. It seems worth it to break up and date someone older and more mature.
Love isn’t enough.
A relationship needs trust, vulnerability, safety, good communication and more to survive. It doesn’t sound like he is doing his part to cultivate those things.
I’m not sure why you want to proceed with him at all. If someone regularly broke up with me and blocked me, then pretended that they hadn’t, they’d very quickly find that I had broken up with them and blocked them for real.
I know you love him, but it’s not enough.
You can break up with your partner, at any time, for any reason. You don’t need their agreement or permission. You don’t need to wait until something “bad enough” happens. Being in a relationship is voluntary.
I suggest you break up with this boy who is playing with your feelings and move on. It will hurt for a while. You might feel like you’ve made the biggest mistake in your life. I assure you that when your grief is over you’ll find that it was the right call. Hopefully the next person you find will treat you far better than this one.
I stoped reading at “my BF threatens to break up with me all the time”. End the relationship immediately. That sort of behavior is immature and manipulative. Breaking up should be taken seriously, and only be brought up earnestly, as a last option, after trying to talk and work through issues. People who act otherwise are not qualified for a healthy adult relationship.
This guy is a jackass, stop wasting your time with him.
No, it is not, and for the life of me, I do not understand why you love a man that is emotionally abusive. He breaks up with you, blocks you, and then reconnects as if nothing happened. This is seriously messed up, and when this happened the very first time it should have been an instant “turn-off.” In other words, this type of behavior should have caused him to lose 60% or more of his attractiveness for you.
But instead this ridiculous manipulative mind-play has somehow convinced you that you are the one who needs to put more effort into the relationship, and that you are the one that must pine away and practically beg for his affection.
If you are in therapy, consider a new therapist if they have not helped you identify a huge, gaping hole that you need to fill and heal. And that hole is your self-esteem.
This man is not worthy of your attention, let alone your love, and he is a walking red flag. Break-up with him. Block him permanently. Never, ever talk to him again and take a long break from dating until you are able to rebuild your self-esteem and find yourself again. You have lost who you are and what makes you valuable as a human being. Find it.
He’s still in middle school, he isn’t worth the drama. His brain hasn’t finished likes yours.
INFO: why exactly are you with him?
Answer to your question, no.
It sounds like you really love him a lot but only you are making an effort to better yourself for the relationship. Relationships require two people and and both to want it. Regardless of this specific situation, if you stayed in a relationship, eventually you will both make each other sad or feel guilty for one reason or another. It’s the working through it together as a team what makes it worth it, shows you love each other, and want to be together.
In my opinion. I hope you are strong enough to see you deserve better. It will be hard but you do and you can find it. I hope you do. ♥️
f this guy. don’t waste any more of your time on him.
Throw the whole man away.
No. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to save. You deserve so much better than this.
You’re a placeholder right now. He knows exactly how you feel when he doesn’t say it back. He just doesn’t care.
Move on. If he doesn’t love you or won’t say it after 2 years than he’s a waste of your time
It very seriously sounds like you are being psychologically abused
No.
No it’s not worth saving. Next time he “breaks up with you”. Block him and move on. You are fighting for something that’s worth nothing to the other party, no matter how much time and effort you put in. So stop.
This guy is punishing you simply because he doesn’t like you. Best way to proceed is to love yourself enough to know you deserve better than this.
Girl you’re pushing 30 dating a guy who’s playing games – and you’re letting him. Enough is enough already, put an end to his bs and walk away
Do not tolerate this treatment from ANYONE 😢. Love is not unkind… it’s warm and safe. You don’t have to beg for it, I know because I’ve been there. I’ve begged and tolerated a lot of emotional abuse in my 20s-30s it doesn’t get better it just destroys your self esteem. He sounds awful, I truly hope you escape this cruel manipulative man.
This relationship is not worth saving. I’m sorry.
Just end it already. The right relationship won’t be this hard.
Just break up. He’s being a dick.
Yeah, you don’t wanna come across as needy. He’s taking advantage of you and you are coming across just needy and like you have no confidence in yourself. Time to leave the jerk. He does not love you.
Date someone your age. At 23 he is still figuring it out, has not much life experience, his mentality is still frat bro.
You are pushing 30!!! If the genders were reversed, you would be getting ripped for being in the creepy predator league.
Ages aside, his maturity level is showing. He isn’t mature enough for a serious relationship. This is really sounding toxic. Stop chasing this boy, find your self respect and move on.