My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now and we have lightly talked about what we want for the future. He mentions that he wants to have a family with kids but I don’t want to have kids. I really do care about him and he loves me but I’m not sure if this will work out in the long term especially with this big of different view points. I’ve told him that I don’t want to have kids at all but he says not to worry about it. But I feel like this relationship is eventually doomed later down the line. I don’t want it to be but I might be really overthinking this. Could I get some outside opinions on this?
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If he wants kids and you dont then the relationship is doomed to fail because that is a major incompatability
Yeah this might be a problem for your relationship later on. It’s not fair to you to have kids if you don’t want to and it’s not fair to him to have to give up his dream about having kids. You guys are extremely young tho so you might feel different in the future, but I wouldn’t count on that to change. Eventually one of you would end up resenting the other person
Depends on what you want. You’re 18 you’ve been together 3 months, you’re very young and that’s not long. If you want a solid long term relationship then this relationship probably isn’t for you. If you just want to enjoy each other’s company day to day then it’s totally fine. It’s really up to you.
Girly you are incompatible on the biggest issue which is kids. You can’t compromise on that at all. Either you will have kids you don’t want and hate life or he resents you forever because he doesn’t have a family. You need to break up now before it hurts worse later on
It’s been 3 months that’s a big enough issue for y’all to just part ways
As someone who never wanted or wants kids, I would end a relationship if I had doubts or if the person would want them. It’s a huge dealbreaker for a good reason. He should find someone who wants the same things in life as he does and you deserve to not have to worry about him being fed up or regret not having them. The longer you wait to break up, the harder it’ll be.
Does he want the kids soon? Like within the next 3 years? If yes, break up! If not, honestly I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There are 18 year olds who say they don’t want kids and they never have them. There are 18 year olds who say they don’t want kids and then they finish developing and their life is completely different than it was at 18 and they do want to become a parent. There are 18 year olds who want kids and have them. There are 18 year olds that want kids and then realize later on they actually don’t. You can be the most confident person in the world and end up in a completely different place than you thought you would at any age. The younger you are, the less certain everything is. ]
My point is, if you are talking about something is over a decade away and you are only 3 months into this relationship, take a chill pill and go enjoy college or whatever.
It is good to have goals, but there are way more 18 year olds whose goals change as they grow up than their are 18 year olds that set one single path forward and achieved it exactly as they envisioned at 18, and statistically, this probably isn’t the guy you are going to marry anyways so it really doesn’t matter. Just use protection!
Family. Politics. Religion. Sex drive. If they don’t align you aren’t compatible.
So here’s the thing. Love is not enough. And him telling you not to worry about it is very alarming.
He’s either looking to just be FWB until he’s ready to look for his future wife, or he’s planning on changing your mind down the line.
A lot of differing views in relationships can be solved by finding a compromise
Having kids however is not one of them. My ex and I just broke up about the exact same thing. Ofc it sucks but this relationship is doomed to either fail or make one of you resent the other