hi, people of reddit! i’m a new user and i’m here to ask for advice and what to do.
short background of what’s happening: i have a boyfriend and we just started. we’re almost 2 months now and he’s been very vocal of not trusting me. i’ve done everything– i gave him assurance, i prove myself to him every time he says that to me. honestly, it’s getting kinda tiring. you know, when you always have to prove yourself to someone who ignores it. i know this isn’t something i can control and that i don’t have to do anything about it because i’ve been reading stuff like these here too and usually the comments are like that but i really want to do something about it. it frustrates me to think that i can’t do anything. he also accuses me of cheating on him or that i have other people behind his back. i would never do that to him. but the problem is, he had a history of that. he told me that he’s afraid of getting cheated on so he cheats before his partner cheats on him. i’m really scared that it might happen to me too. please help me, thank you!
TL;DR: my boyfriend doesn’t trust me and i need advice š
Comments
The issue is with him, and it won’t get better as time progresses. He has trust issues, and will always have trust issues until he deals with it. I, personally, would break it off before he dragged me down. So my advice is to RUN!
Heās being manipulative because he likes watching you bend over backwards for his approval and comfort. And he just wants to cheat on you and when you confront him about it, heās gonna say he knew you would cheat on him so he did it first.
He has an emotional problem and is using it as an excuse to try and control you and then will use it to justify mistreating you. There is no relationship when thereās no trust. Run.
Dump him.
Itās only 8 weeks in and youāre already certain he is a cheater. Ā And because he cheats on everyone, he cannot fathom that not everyone has the same shitty character he does. Ā He will continue to punish you for his history of cheating.
You donāt need to wait until he cheats on you to end it. Ā You arenāt obligated to be his rehab center.
If you do stay, condoms every time. Ā No exceptions. Ā Getting cheating on is bad enough, no need to add stis to the mix.
The short answer is that he has a lot of issues to work through before he can have a healthy relationship.
You can’t fix it for him. No amount of reassurance, you “proving” yourself will fix this. You’re seeing this already. It doesn’t get better but the good news is that you have a choice to bail out.