Hi again, I could really do with some advice.
Exactly what the title says. I struggle with low self esteem having been quiet and introverted most of my life.
Now I have got a significant other who knows me and who I am this comment really hit hard, especially after a vulnerable time like that. We have now been together 10 months.
I made a previous post about him being VERY pushy for sex, leading me to believe he was only with me for that. Well I stayed, and he is now making mean comments like this. In the moments after he said it, I got visibly upset to which he responded with he was joking. I left, and phoned him today to explain that I felt hurt by his statement. He told me that he asked for HIS MOTHERS opinion and she laughed and agreed with him.. despite the comment being alleged joke?
He has already SAed me in the past and I just don’t know if this is worth leaving him over or if I’m being dramatic. All advice welcome.
TL;DR: My boyfriend of 10 months is telling me I have no personality after having sex.
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LEAVE HIM!! NOOOW!!!
Btw, we have real good chemistry so I have no clue why he said that unprovoked.
The SA alone should be reason enough to leave.
I would leave, it’s only gonna get worse.
>Well I stayed, and he is now making mean comments like this.
It sounds an awful lot like he just doesn’t like you that much. I’d advise breaking up and saving yourself the abuse. If low self esteem is making you stay in relationships that are making you unhappy, you should consider psychotherapy to work on that.
Now is the time to leave him for SA’ing you. You may not have done it before but you should at least do it now.
No man that loves his s/o would say that let alone sa them.
You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and empathy by the ones you love (and presumably love you back).
Don’t go back to him. Move forward without that dead weight. Keep your chin up. It gets better.
Not to join the chorus, but thats a shitty fucking thing to do and say about your partner after something as intimate as sex. You’re both young, you will definitely find better men out there.
With all the information you have provided, you have more than enough to make a decision. The question that seems to really be hanging above your head is: Can you make yourself leave him? You said that he SAed you in the past, but then you stayed after that? Why? And assuming he was pushing for access after that happened, he is manipulating you with every action. As for him asking his mother, of course, she is going to side with him, he probably knows how to word it to make you look like you’re overreacting instead of him miss treating you.
First of all, he’s the worst person ever in this world and please leave him. Tell his friends he has small peepe before leaving, he deserves atleast that for SA’ing you.
Secondly, girl you’re not supposed to have a personality at 19! I was a buffoon at 19.. Didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Don’t take his comments to heart because he expects a young girl like you to behave like an adult.
Moreover, he’s literally 18 so he doesn’t understand shit. No really, you think you love this man but he’s not a man!! A little kid who’s still asking for his mother’s validation is all you need to know about him!
Hope this is rage bait
Yeah.. you need to break up right now
Hello. Well, After sex usally a woman is a bit more “animated”. As-in happy/ giddy /satisfied. Like yippy/ happy /feel/ good. Not miserable. After sex do you just lay there and is ” blah ” Or wanna be close and snuggly with a smile on your face. This is actually the behaviour I would expect from someone whom did not want to have sex and was pressured ” Manipulated ” into having sex. The mother knows what a woman ” normaly ” act(s) like after sex. Everyone is diffrent and this maybe just your own thing. The feelings should be that you want to have sex. Look forward to having sex, that you get horney. Durning sex you should have an orgasm and look forward to having more orgasm(s). Yes more than one. Maybe he is not having sex with you long enough or maybe his “peeper” is too small or too big. I would say 30 mins is a normal sex session and 1.5hr is a long sex session. If it is like 5mins then yea you are missing out. Sex should feel good and not feel forced.
I would suggest that you buy a viberator sex toy and experiance what feels good to you.
Then see if you are happy/giddy/satisfied after that play time with the toy.
— Your missing out on the pleasure of sex
He doesn’t like you. Leave. You deserve better.
Springs like it’s time to kick him to the curb.
Seriously. End it. There are SO MANY men who aren’t assholes. So many that are but you deserve a one of the good ones
This entire post is 🚩. Leave him and don’t look back. This is not a good person and not a good partner.
Women: you do not have to settle for being treated like this in a relationship.
Why do y’all stay with men who SA yall
OP, I am so sorry you’re going through this.
You do NOT deserve this kind of treatment from someone, especially someone who’s supposed to care about you!
It may seem hard to leave them, but just know you will be better without them in the long run.
Think to yourself… Can you really see yourself with them in a long-term relationship? If they’ve already assaulted you already, what’s to say they won’t do it again?
You may have good chemistry as you say, but this is not a healthy relationship at all. And he’s definitely using your insecurities against you. Even laughing with his mother about it.
You need to leave him. He doesn’t care about you, and he certainly doesn’t love you. He’s abusive and a shitty excuse for a BF, and he will only keep hurting you.
Post nut clarity
Way better than having his personality let’s put it that way
Wait what
“He has already SAed me..” <–This alone should have made you leave. It’s worse than him making fun of your personality.
After reading your other comments, your bar for what’s acceptable is way too low, because of your low self esteem which makes you accept things that almost nobody else would accept.
You need to see a therapist if you’re not already doing so, and leave the bf.
PS: You really shouldn’t be dating anyone until you do something about your self esteem. If you don’t take care of this the next guy may also mistreat you once he realizes he can push you around.
girlie RUUUUUUUUN :,(
Dude. EW.
WHAT DO YOU MEANT HE ALREADY SAED YOU GIRL LEAAVVVEEE . LEAVE NOWWW
I meant female btw titles incorrect