My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. And honestly he is a really good boyfriend. He does so many things for me and makes me happy all the time. He talks about our future together and very supportive. However, lately he makes me feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. He used to compliment me all the time but now he only answers when I ask him how do I look. I do makeup for him wear something nice and when he sees me the first thing he says “what do you want to eat?”. He doesn’t kiss me when I get into his car. He starts driving right away. I sent him a cute mirror selfie and he only responded with “nice pants”. When we speak of famous woman he compliments their looks which is fine, I ask him. But one time I don’t know how the conversation led there he said “ are you comparing yourself with that woman”. I got heartbroken but not because I find myself more beautiful. I know they look waaaay better than me. He apologized after and said that im pretty.
Other than that we recently don’t have alone time together. Whenever we meet he brings either his brother or calls his friends or make me call my friends to hang out with. Which is okay but he stopped trying to have a nice moment with me. When we are hanging out with our friends he doesn’t even sit closer to me or show an affection to me. I know he is a shy person with people around. But since we don’t spend alone time together he stopped kissing or hugging me. He used to invite me over all the time but it’s very rare lately. I tried to talk to him maybe with a bit of overreaction but he says I’m being silly and he loves me. I know he loves me but all I want is feeling his attention. How would you interpret these behaviors?
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I don’t see any reason to believe he doesn’t find you attractive anymore. Has something changed with your appearance that makes you assume that is the cause?
It sounds to me like he’s comfortable and not working to make you feel actively pursued. This happens sometimes when someone isn’t a super touchy feely person to begin with but might act like one at the beginning of a relationship, then fall back into how they really are after some time.
He sounds boring AF. I would move on if I were you. You are too young to be stuck with someone that makes you unhappy and makes you feel unattractive.
This is the main and real part of relationships, where you have to find love in those silent moments. Relationships aren’t always like flashy romantic moments all the time.if you overcome this period you will find yourself in a very good position. Take this as a make it or break it moment.
It’s so hard to feel like someone who used to see you as beautiful now seems distracted, but please know you deserve someone who consistently sees and celebrates you… and I hope you find someone who makes you feel valued every single day.