My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been together for about a year and he’s great in most ways but there’s this one thing that’s starting to really bug me. He literally only wants to eat at the same 3 restaurants every time we go out. I’ve suggested trying new places probably 50 times and he always says ‘maybe next time’ or ‘I know I like the food there.’ I’m getting so bored of eating the same stuff over and over. Last week I finally put my foot down and said we’re going somewhere new and he complained the entire time about how expensive it was even though I was paying. I don’t know if this is a red flag or just something that I need to accept. Like food is such a big part of life and I want to experience new things with him. Am I being unreasonable here?
TL;DR: my boyfriend hates new restaurants outside of the ones that we always eat at
My boyfriend (26M) never wants to try new restaurants and it’s driving me (24F) nuts
r/Advice
Comments
Try getting an entree and have him try it as a leftover for lunch or a weekend snack. Once he tries it, he’ll most likely want to know where you got it from. Baby steps.
I hate eating out. I think food preferences is compatibility and it’s ok to only date people you’re compatible with. P
It’s not a red flag, people like routine. If people like an experience they return to it. Men get set in their ways pretty quickly and really don’t want to be switching shit up all the time. Men are satisfied pretty easily we aren’t complex creatures. I’m willing to bet that it’s your approach that is making him hesitant.
>I’ve suggested trying new places probably 50 times
This is what men call “nagging”. You are nagging the man about essentially what he sees as a simple endeavor, eating. If you want your man to not do something nag him about it.
This sounds exactly like my autistic kids. So one possibility is that he might be neurodivergent in some way.
But tell him how it made you feel to have him complain the entire time. That there needs to be a middle ground that you two need to figure out. That novelty in food is important to you. That always getting his way isn’t acceptable to you.
I’m a therapist and I’ve seen this issue in other couples. This isn’t a “man” thing; this behavior is also in some women. But it is a compatibility issue. Your boyfriend is very rigid about trying new places, and is unwilling to do so even knowing that it’s important to you. I’m wondering if there are other areas where you have this incompatibility. I recommend talking to him about his underlying feelings about trying new places/foods. And if he can’t open up, maybe consider couples therapy.
I have a pretty autistic partner, but one thing I love about him is that he’s always up for trying a new place, or a new dish that I made at home. Once he knows he likes a dish from a certain place, he’ll often order it again in the future, while I seldom try the same thing twice. But that’s okay because he’s willing to go out to new places and try new things.
Honestly, maybe this makes me shallow, but food is such an important part of my life that I couldn’t be with someone long term who wasn’t willing to share and explore that with me.
I’m like that too, but I’d say most a beige flag. Red flag if I was complaining about the expense AND he was paying. Beige because he’s concerned about you guys spending money and you’re spending your money. I’m frugal so I tried to save money with my fiancée when I can. We try to expand but try to eat out where it’s relatively cheaper
This is what dating is for – to identify incompatibilities before you commit. Neither of you has to be the bad guy, you just don’t gel.
I married the world’s pickiest eater who only liked one thing at each of the handful of restaurants in our community. At any given place, I could have ordered his entire meal down to the brand of beer. No skin off my nose, but at least we had more than three places to go. I feel your pain. Just imagine being married to your date. Don’t do it. Let him find someone more like him in this regard.
If you’re worried this sounds petty, wait until you find out that his reluctance to even try anything new isn’t limited to restaurants.
I don’t like eating out in new places although I do try sometimes lol but majority of the time it’s not upto my expectation or doesn’t fizzle my tastebuds and especially if it’s a expensive restaurant it really does bug me for a few days that money was wasted on food that was not upto standard sometimes il say to the mrs would of been happy on just having a plain old maccies 😂😅
I think it’s a man thing 😭
Not a red flag, a yellow flag at worst.
And the “at worst” is only actually “worst” if he refuses to try new things in general, or if he’s a picky eater who will only eat a few things. But even that isn’t intentionally hurtful, even if it is a pain in the ass…
It’s not great that he spent the night at the new place complaining, nor is it great that you have asked him 50 times to go somewhere else.
Dating is to find people we’re compatible with. If new restaurants are important to you, and it’s fine that they are, either go with friends, or find a new boyfriend who likes experiencing new food, too. He doesn’t like doing that.
Neither a red flag nor something you need to just accept.
He doesn’t want to try new food. But he went with you anyway. Take this as a win.
You don’t need to limit yourself just because he is not interested. You can go with him on special occasions, and other times order for yourself or go with your friends.
One day he may want to try something else. Or you may get tired of trying new things, who knows. Compromise for now.
You just sound incompatible. No red flag
Don’t even talk to me. Same here with a certain restaurant
I’ve already given up on going out to eat with him because I can’t stand the food there anymore.