I 25f and my boyfriend 27m of 9 months are currently on a break. We’ve been arguing a lot lately over small things, and tension has been high. But this recent situation might be the final straw if I can’t fix it.
Here’s what happened:
We were already mid-argument when he got a call from his best friend. His friend says he heard from a “trusted source” that I was flirting with a coworker. I immediately denied it and told him exactly what happened. That day, it was me, two of my coworkers, the so called “trusted source,” and his best friend who happened to be standing near a window nearby. I was joking with one of my coworkers and said something like, “I saw you staring at that resin girl’s ass.” He laughed and said, “You notice everything,” and I responded jokingly, “I be staring at females’ butts too.” That’s literally it. It was playful banter in a group setting. No touching, no suggestive tone, nothing inappropriate. But somehow, the “trusted source” twisted it like I was flirting with this coworker completely ignoring the fact that there were three people involved and I wasn’t even talking about myself or the coworker in that way. I even pointed out that his best friend was RIGHT THERE and asked me about how my boyfriend was doing. I responded politely, so how come he didn’t catch anything “flirty” if it was so obvious? I told my boyfriend all of this and explained the misunderstanding, but he’s still unsure who to believe me, or this so-called “trusted source”. I don’t know how to prove that I wasn’t flirting. I’ve been completely transparent. I told him word for word what was said and offered to let him talk to the coworkers if he wanted to verify. I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t do and it hurts because it’s like my word doesn’t matter anymore. FYI: there has never been any cheating/flirting from either of us.
How do I get him to believe me? Is there even a way? Or is the trust already broken?
Any advice would help.
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In 9 months, there shouldn’t be any breaks or big issues. It’s a sign of what the future beholds the relationship. It’ll be worse in harder times, too. And then trust issues, too? There are far better out there, and they’re easy to get.
He doesn’t want to believe you, because it’s easier to end a relationship that isn’t working when there’s a clear “bad guy” to direct the blame at afterwards.
Break up with him – he doesn’t trust you, and you deserve someone who does.
Learn, reflect, move on and apply to next relationship. This one’s damaged goods.
It’s not a good sign if you’re already having issues this early. The relationship will only get harder if you stay.
It’s kinda shocking how one rumor can shake things up so much… but if trust is already shaky, maybe it’s time to ask yourself what kind of foundation you’re really built on and whether it’s worth fixing.
You know what happened. If bf wants to break up over this, it will hurt, but you should hold your head high and consider yourself lucky. He and his best friend, along with your coworker “trusted source” are emotionally immature and manipulative. Your life would be better without them in it.
You are young. Plenty of time to find a man who trusts you.
Life is to short and you’re to old for this bs
You’re on a break.
Geez, just break up already.