Hi, my boyfriend and I are expecting our first child in about 5 weeks. I want him to have both of our last names as we aren’t married and even if we do decide to marry in a few years I won’t take his last name. He has a big problem with this. He’s said it’s stupid, the kid will be bullied and it’s not his fault that I’m a woman and that’s the norm. When we first found out we were having a boy I was okay with the idea of my last name being his middle name, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to just hyphenate and have both last names. What if we don’t work out? What if we have a daughter next, is her middle name going to be my conventionally boys name last name? It’s been the center of a lot of arguments and about a month ago I asked him what is he going to do, leave us? And the conversation kind of got dropped. Over the weekend when his extended family member asked about the name he said my last name as the middle name which he knows I don’t want. Then today we had a baby appointment and on the way I brought up a middle name. He said he liked it if I was okay with it not being my last name, I said again that I want him to have both of our last names. He said again that it’s not going to happen and it’s stupid. I started crying but didn’t say anything. I’m tired of having the same fight and don’t understand why it’s so hard for him to see my perspective. I would never give the baby my last name and not include his. I’ve explained to him that I just want to share it. But he keeps calling it stupid and “woke” and saying that he’s going to “have a real problem with it” so I finally said he’s going to have both last names and if he’s going to be shitty with me about it then he needs to leave us now. I don’t want to coparent. I don’t want to keep having this fight. It feels easier to just back down but I don’t want to do that either. I’m at a loss and just looking for some advice
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>I finally said he’s going to have both last names and if he’s going to be shitty with me about it then he needs to leave us now.
What was his response to this?
The fact that either of you are thinking about ending a relationship over this is ridiculous. You both have issues
Imagine not discussing this before getting pregnant…
I’m so sorry OP. Your BF is ridiculous and he’s harming this relationship so much.
If he’s willing to destroy so much over somemthing as stupid as a name, then maybe he isn’t compatible with you. This isn’t some huge ask you’re making.
Please make sure you are aware of that. This is not your fault, this is fine. BF is being unreasonable as can be.
How about one gets the first name and one gets the last.
Anybody who says a child will be bullied for having two last names doesn’t really feel that way, he’s just trying to control you, that’s what this is really about and this is just the beginning. Give your baby both last names and if baby daddy leaves, he never really loved you and wouldn’t have stuck around anyways.
Good for you for standing up for yourself against a shitty partner! I mean, his response was to tell you it’s not his fault you are a woman? FFS. Has he been red-pilled? You are being really smart. You are not married (and I can’t say your bf is marriage material) and it’s really hard to have a different last name for your child. There is no good reason for you, the mother, not to give your child your last name. His only real answer is either “but tradition” or “but I am man and you will obey”. Hell no.
I do worry about him trying to sign the birth certificate with only his last name while you are incapacitated or recovering. So please make sure you tell the L&D nursing staff not to let him do the certificate without you (and tell them why).
Stay strong, mama. You got this, keep trusting your instincts.
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Who does he think has been growing this baby the whole time? Your name absolutely deserves to be on that certificate, more than anyone else’s.
Are you pregnant and carrying the baby? Be so for real rn.
I mean you can choose not to give the baby his last name. He should think about that before he acts like a child.
It’ll be easier to be a single parent if the baby has your name.
He doesn’t want to see your perspective because he doesn’t care how you feel, all he cares about is feel “emasculated” by an unnecessary tradition. What a guy.
You should think about this stuff before you open your legs and let losers bust a nut in you.
INFO: is your last name fart or something kids would tease other kids about? If not, then your ask is completely reasonable and your bf is being ridiculous at best sexist at worst. This is a hill to die on since his views will carry to your son.
Honestly, if I were you, with not even being engaged and I’m the one carrying the baby and having to go through all the labor and hard work. Baby gets MY last name. He wants to be a jerk about it, then I’ll take his last name being an option away. My daughter got my last name cause I’m the one that raised her, her father hasn’t been in her life for even one moment so I had it easy. But if he’s not willing to compromise then I’d have a come to Jesus moment with him and if y’all break up, baby needs to match mommas name as your more likely to be the main care giver. Just my opinion though
All this over last names is crazy. I get arguing over it, but it seems that there are far bigger underlying issues if you guys are already thinking of splitting. Be adults, sit down and talk. He also should be trying to communicate with you, instead of just calling it stupid. Its fine if thats how he feels but after expressing that emotion/thought once, it becomes more of an insult rather than effective communication. I suggest taking a step back and a breathe. Before talking to him again, do an overall look at your relationship, the good and bad. See if thats what you want for your life, see if things arent as bad as you thought. Only you will know, I wish you the best of luck
Tell him if he isn’t the one growing the baby for 10 months, tough shit. If he wants to leave you and your child over something as trivial as a name, let him.
I can understand why you aren’t married to him. When they pull the “ woke” shit it’s time to realize they don’t care about you as much as what his bros will think about HIM. Does he even know what it means? I seriously doubt it.
Break up.
Schedule a bilateral oophorectomy to sterilize yourself. Your judgement is terrible, and while it’s far too late to prevent this kid from being born, yoy can make sure you don’t doom any other children to having you – or your toxic, sexist partner – as a parent.
This is just a name. When something is more serious, how is he going to react? Is he even going to consider your opinion? I mean after his comment about your being a woman, it seems to me he has negative opinions of women. It’s quite a misogynistic comment. Do you want to live this forever?
Yea. Leave before other things happen and your trapped.
It’s not woke to have both last names lol. I have a hyphenated last name and it was very helpful because my parents did end up splitting. My dad passed away when I was 10 and even though I didn’t get anything in his will, I still have his last name which I cherish. Idk if this helps but there’s plenty of upsides of taking both last names.
i really would recommend giving the baby your last name alone. your bf would rather leave yall than have your baby have your last name
It’s almost like you should have had this conversation before getting pregnant. Surely, you could see what kind of person he was before now. This guy sounds like a bully, and honestly, you’re probably better off co-parenting than living with someone so rigid and mean.
You want both names in case it doesn’t work out between you.
You’re right. You should give the baby both surnames because we can all see this isn’t going to work out between you.
the fact you are contemplating a second child already with this person is alarming
give ur son your dad name and get the hell away from this ejaculation capable toddler.
And tell his momma that’s why she should have raised this p.o.s better.
You’re not married. Give the baby your last name! If you get married down the road, maybe your child can take his last name, but given his attitude and treatment of you, I wouldn’t prioritize his name. He sounds like a dick.
This is why women need to choose their baby father wisely. If you are not married the only logical solution is to have both last names hyphenated. The fact that you both can’t agree to something as small as your child’s last name shows that this relationship was never going to last. It’s better to end things now before the baby arrives and give him/her your last name otherwise it’s going to be a very long and toxic 18 years
Y’all ain’t married and have different last names it’s much easier as a mom to share the same name as your kid so legally wise hyphenated names are much better for unmarried couples with different last names.
Your partner is an asshole.
good lord why do people have children with angry immature man children? i find it hard to believe he wasn’t like this prior to the pregnancy. also really? why is it so important y’all’s last name is a middle name and all that? good grief, this is an insane issue to have as grown ass adults. holy fuck
Your husband is being a child. The fact that he is completely fine with the kid not having your last name also is completely immature. Also this BS about the kid getting bullied just shows how little awareness of the real world he has. Does he know that most Hispanic countries do this? Both parents last names and no hyphen.
If your bf is going to manipulate you in doing what he wants, then it’s better to run now. Its not about the name, its about the manipulation and his refusal to see things any other way than his own.
Well, unfortunately you already let it impregnate you, now you are stuck dealing with it for the next 18 years. Make better choices with men.
Ok so I can tell you this from experience. My daughters mother is not a citizen, but has her permanent residency, as she legally moved here to the USA when she was 4 years old. I am a natural born citizen, so when we had our daughter, her mother for some reason told her that she MUST put her last name on the birth certificate to “prove” that she’s the legal mother… I know how insane that last part was. So I agreed to hyphenate our daughters last name. This turned out to make things INCREDIBLY difficult for us and our daughter as school, doctors appointments/record keeping, and just about everything else became a nightmare when trying to locate, retrieve, send, request documents about my daughter. When my daughter was 5 her mother said “we should’ve just used your name, idk what I was thinking, just change it”… I never changed it but it ended up being way more of a headache than we ever imagined. And this isnt like in 1989 or something, im talking about 2020’s up until now its still really difficult, and I dont just mean inconvenienced. My daughter just goes by my last name verbally, but legally it’s still hyphenated and still causing us, and her, unintended frustrations.
Cheers.
Bullied for two last names??? On what planet.
If your BF really feels that way then the baby can just take your last name. Problem solved. His last name can be the middle name for compromise.
Since you aren’t married, you fill out the birth certificate. You give the baby its name. He doesn’t get to tell you what last name the baby gets and since he’s being so territorial to the point of abusive, you may be better off leaving his name completely off of it.
Tell him that if you get married, you’ll change the baby’s name but until then, he gets your last name.
What is the deal with some men and their last names? I truly do not understand it. It’s as if they think their name implies ownership or something. Oh, wait. That’s it, isn’t it?
you both need to go back to the kindergarten
At this stage, the baby is only going to have your last name with the way this joker is carrying on.
My kids have both of our last names. My wife’s surname basically acts as a second middle name for them. Nobody even knows. Nobody has bullied them. They have a piece of both of our family legacies attached to them and I think that’s kind of cool.
Why not have your last name as the middle name? I did it with my first and I’ve never regretted it.
Good luck. Updateme
Doesn’t like all of Mexico use both names?
Gosh. Since you’re not married, I figured the kid gets your name. One last name. Yours.
Why would the kid be bullied? Good grief, what absurd pride. You’d be better off just giving the kid your surname, if he’s acting like that (since you’re not married, the kid should have your surname anyway, and not his). My kids have my wife’s last name (and she kept hers too) because her surname is just better than mine, and I got teased about mine growing up, so I suggested they keep hers instead.
He”s shown you his ass. He’s close-minded, stubborn, controlling and immature. Give the baby your last name only. Have a friend or family member at the birth with you to help keep the paperwork and birth certificate in order. Move on and have a wonderful life.
Give the baby only your last name and dump the bf. You are not married. Why give your baby that you carry for nine months the last name of someone who is not your husband?? Your bf is not worthy to name your baby.
Give the baby your last name.
As a child born in the 90s to unmarried parents with a double barrelled surname I have never been bullied or made fun of for my last name. I love having both my parents names and now I’m pregnant with my son, we’ve decided to double barrel his last name. It’s important a child of unmarried parents has his mothers last name otherwise you can’t take the child abroad etc without proof of being his mother eg. Birth certificate. My dad’s second wife had this problem, her daughter had her dad’s last name and she’d have to carry her daughter’s birth certificate. My dad never had the same problem as I shared his last name alongside my mother’s. In my opinion giving a child both names is not only fair but logical! Plus you, the mother are the only one who has to register your child’s birth. Your partner, because you’re unmarried is not assumed to be the father and is not required to register the birth/name.
The norm should be taking after the mother’s last name if she’s not married.
There’s always an option to change the last name after getting married.
He’s prioritizing his control issues over your feelings, and it sounds like it’s already escalating. You aren’t even married yet. Imagine how much worse he’ll get when you’re raising an infant and dependent on him financially. Give the baby your last name. Just yours. Raise the baby with family. Cut this guy out of the picture.
If you can’t get on the same page where the name is concerned I worry about what parenting will look like once the baby is here.
I know kids with hyphenated last names and kids with multiple last names, no one thinks twice about it. Maybe ask your boyfriend if he was that kind of shitty person who would tease someone over their name. That would say more about him and who he is as a person and what kind of parent he will be (parents are often our first bullies).
I feel like the two of you don’t really know each other.
this is insane. my mom has the hyphenated last name and still uses it and no one gives a f. also i can’t believe u guys waited so long to have this convo ab this
My grandkids have a hyphenated last name and nobody bugs them about it. If he thinks this little of you and is willing to throw everything away being there for that baby’s first and everything over a hyphenated name that states a lot.
Just put your last name. This relationship is not going to last and having his name attached will make things infinitely harder for you.
My daughter’s dad pushed so hard for her last name to be his but I didn’t feel right about where we were in our relationship at the time. And thank God for that because he had another child on the way at the same time. So at least he got to give one of his kids his last name 🤷🏻♀️
Personally I think you should stop and look very hard at why you’re arguing for what you want. Is it just ego and pride? Are you an only child, is your family name going to end with you if you don’t continue it?
What about him? What are his reasonings?
You’re already this far, and fighting. Do you want to bring a child into fighting or will you throw your ego aside and make HUGE conscious changes to be a better partner? Sometimes things seem like a huge deal, but it’s really just a small act of vulnerability away from making a relationship stronger.
Your boyfriend should absolutely listen to you and your position, but what would compromise to you look like? It seems like the only way will be his way or your way. Find a way you can both be happy with your child’s name, but truly compromise, don’t just be angry he won’t choose your choice. Why can you not use your last name as a middle name? I didn’t understand why that was an issue. Also IMO hyphenated last names are the goofiest. I’ve always wondered what would happen if the next generation wanted to hyphenate with their partner as well so that your grandchild would have a double hyphenated last name. Where does the madness end!?!?!
so you’re having a baby with a man child who’s also a bully. C’mon. You can do better.
My mother forced me to give my eldest my name along with the father last name. You know what happened, that deadbeat ended up disappearing for years, came back, disappeared and repeatedly done the very same thing for a few years until he never came back. I was so blessed I done what my mother made me do. I dropped the biological father last name for everything and my eldest is only known by my last name.
Stick to your boundaries and give that baby your last name, in fact, find another supporting person for the delivery as this man will fight you as you give birth and stress you out.
He’s betting everything that you’re bluffing and will fold and accept his way or the highway.
The only way forward are
A). Accept his way and come to terms with it
B). Show him you’re not bluffing by leaving. You are about 5 weeks out. At that point he is going to realize you’re serious and either accept the hype aged name or go kind of crazy and demand you return and obey him etc.
Warning on option b. He sounds like she would t really accept it deep down and would either look to change it somehow or hold it against you and make your life miserable.
It is perfectly reasonable for you to want to use both last names. Your boyfriend is being misogynistic and childish.
It sounds like it is time to break it off and start discussing shared custody arrangements instead of last names.
When he creates life solo and then pushes that basketball sized human out of his genitals he can give it whatever last name he wants. Until then he is being controlling and unreasonable.
omgggg stop getting knocked up by these atrocious men!!
Easy solution. No hyphen? Fine… The kid only gets your name.
I had my first child at 20. Not married. I 100% fully regret not using my last name. You could always change the child’s last name when/if yall get married or whatever. Its difficult to change the child’s last name after the fact. If youre not married I would STRONGLY suggest choosing your last name.
ur boyfriend just wants a kid to have the legacy of someone with his last name. he just wants to have his blood line keep going. he doesn’t like u or the kid.
As an unmarried woman, you alone have the right the fill out the birth certificate. I would mention this anyway just in case you are incapacitated for any reason. I would strongly consider giving the baby only your name. It can always be amended later if you both agree.
Maybe you should be fully “woke” to what kind of man he really is… your eyes open yet?
oh look, 2 big babies are having a small baby!
yes names are important but this man threatening to leave you and the child because you are not doing as you’re told, that is a huge flag. Please just say to him that he is best to go now.
We really need to start saying no early in our relationships with people at the early dating stages to see how they react. If you did you would not find yourself with this looser of a human now. This is all about control by the way, not the child’s name. Red flag for DV.
“But he keeps calling it stupid and “woke” and saying that he’s going to “have a real problem with it”.” It is unfortunate that your kid’s father is a guy who treats your feelings with such contempt.
He’s not looking at this as a problem that you can work on together, he’s steam rolling you, and it sounds like he thinks he CAN because you’re a woman, and he’s a man. Do you want to have a child with this person, or is this just where you’re at right now? I had a similar argument with my ex. Now we aren’t together, and my daughter has no contact with him but still has his last name. She has mine too, but I know I have to change it. Otherwise, her name will be a constant reminder of him. The man who she doesn’t deserve to be subjected to. He’s not a good person, so I dont want her to have that connection. It kinda made me worried when you said what if you dont stay together because you’re already thinking about breaking up. You’re thinking about a future without this man. I’d say you may want to work on being a single mom because you deserve better. Your child deserves better.
maybe you explained it and I missed it, but if your name is Smith and your partner‘s name is Jones, do you want to name your son John Smith-Jones or John Jones-Smith?
Your boyfriend is a jerk.
Give the baby just your last name and reconsider this relationship. Seriously. He just wants control.
Babies don’t get boyfriends’ last names. They get husbands’.
(Or mothers’).
I really regret not hyphenating my son’s last name. It dies with him (well, not the name but my branch of the family tree with this last name). Stand your ground.
Yeah, so, I sat down and explained to my husband that while we were engaged anything could happen.
I explained to him the hoops I would have to jump through that would be extra with having a different name that my son (even registering the child for school).
I explained that I loved him, respected him and believed in him, however, anything could happen, and if we were to break up I would be the primary caretaker for him. He agreed with that, so I explained to him that if we still weren’t actually married by the time the baby was here, I would simply fill out the paperwork beforehand and give our son my last name. I told him if that was the case I’d be perfectly alright with changing the baby’s name once we were married, but explained to him he’d have to cover the costs if that was his choice.
Same with a DNA test. The first time he asked me if he was sure it was mine I stared at him for a long time. (I have never been unfaithful.) I told him there was no way the baby was not his, however, if he wanted a DNA test to prove it we would do so as long as he was willing to cover the cost of it. I also told him if he ever asked me that question again we would 1000% be getting one so he could never ask again, and that I would take his asking as agreeing to that.
I have a hyphenated surname. I’m 50 years old and I have had it for 39 years since my stepdad adopted me. There’s nothing ‘woke’ about hyphenated surnames.
Instead of keep talking to him about it, just do it. You are the person who will give birth to another human being. You are also the only one legally allowed to name your child because you aren’t married.
Register your child’s hyphenated surname. If he decides to leave the because of it, he was never going to be a decent father in the first place.
You guys waited until you were very much pregnant to have this conversation? Please tell me this a whoops baby and not planned. Names are always a 2 yes or it is a no. But it seems there is no middle ground with how you lay out how this discussion has went. I will say, naming a child on the basis of what happens if you break up is ridiculous. Half the kids born would have that issue. Just name him in the here and now.
I’m very traditional, but so is my wife. Since we were always on the same page, no issues. But if she dug in her heels on it I would have agreed to the hyphenated name. Your bf has to decide on what is more important to him. But be prepared, the perceived slight he thinks he is getting may override any clear thinking he could be doing.
And I don’t know where you live, but I don’t believe you have to put the name down immediately. My sister(goofy woman) didn’t name her child until he was born because she wanted to see what he looked like to name him…lol.
But if you think your bf is going to bolt, just use your last name. That will save you some headaches down the road and if he does stick around you can change their name at a later date. That is what my daughter did.
You can’t just say you won’t co-parent. You don’t have to live with this man, but unless he’s the one wanting to drop out of his child life it won’t happen and it won’t be good for the child or the two of you.
You can give the child whatever last name you want, just be sure you are the one to sign the birth certificate.
Check out some of the countries where it is expected and normal that a woman keep her birth name when marrying:
Greece: Since 1983, Greek law requires women to retain their maiden name after marriage.
France: While women can use their husband’s name socially, they cannot legally change it upon marriage.
Spain: Although a social custom of using the husband’s name existed, it fell out of use, and now women generally keep their birth names.
Italy: Similar to France, women cannot legally change their name upon marriage, even if they use their husband’s name socially.
Netherlands: Like France and Italy, women retain their maiden name legally.
Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America: Many countries in Latin America, like Argentina, have a tradition of women keeping their surnames and using their father’s and mother’s surnames, making it unusual for them to adopt their husband’s name.
China and Korea: Women in these countries traditionally keep their birth surnames.
Vietnam: Women in Vietnam also retain their birth surnames.
Youre not married, you decide the name. You can also request he not be present during childbirth.
Are you a conservative person? Your boyfriend seems to be very aligned with conservative view points.
Have you guys talked about if your son turns out gay will he be there? Or trans? Etc. I’m asking because from your post i can see where things are going.
You need to make sure for the future you two are well aligned in regards to expectations on raising children. Otherwise they will absorb his toxic view points.
There’s nothing wrong with being conservative. However saying he’d get bullied or its too woke to have hyphenated last names just tells me everything I need to know about your boyfriend. And the fact that you want to back down tells me a lot about you and how submissive you are to a guy youre not even married to.
Youre not married. You can tell him either its hyphenated or your son will just have your last name only.
Men really show their true colours when women are pregnant, sadly. He’s shown that he doesn’t see you as being real and important as him and not his equal, and sees you and the unborn baby as his property. You’re doing all the work quite literally making the baby out of your own flesh, then you’ll give birth, all of this at risk to your own life, then you’ll do the majority of the caring BUT the baby’s name isn’t even allowed to acknowledge your existence? Yeah, fuck that.
My twins have my surname. Why? Because I fucking made those kids. And the world is going to know about it. The time for mothers being invisible is over and I know you feel this too. So let him go. If he’s this ridiculous over a surname then he’s not going to be a good dad when stuff gets really hard.
I always find it hilarious how tradition is chosen if it benefits said party.
When you get married, who ask who? Who pays for ring?
How many women have gotten down on one knee, saved 3 months salary and profoundly announce their love for their boyfriend?
99% of heterosexual women have not, so if you don’t like tradition don’t get married either. Also he wouldn’t be leaving “us” he would be leaving you. He will always be the Father to his child but he may not be in a relationship with you.
You saying “us” is all I needed to read.
Lmao, how about not his name at all? This guy isn’t chalked up for fatherhood.
The kid will definitely not be bullied for having your last name, lol. What nonsense. Little kids don’t even know what the last names of their friends’ parents are.
I think you should go by the rule of no marriage = your last name, or at least a hyphenated name. If he wanted the baby to have his last name, he could have married you before the birth.
It’s so hard for him to see your perspective because he’s some degree of controlling and misogynistic. And if he’s calling it “woke” then also probably a higher degree of that, and conservative to boot.
Since you are not married and he is clearly and consistently threatening to leave you and the baby, the only sensible thing to do is give the baby your last name only. Beyond that, I wouldn’t be eager to partner and parent with anyone who thinks “woke” is an insult and that having two last names is grounds for bullying. That’s intolerance and smacks of toxic masculinity. Imagine the kid is gay and/or doesn’t adhere to the dad’s idea of masculinity.
You’re not married. Give the baby your last name only.
It would appear you are in a relationship with a misogynist and a bigot.
You know, if its important for you, it shouldnt become an argument.
I’m in the minority here, but I think a hyphenated last name would be a real pain in the ass for your kid. I had one when I was married at one time, and I regretted it. Pick one fucking last name and stick with it. The kid can change their name later if they want to.
This was a big argument in my relationship, we both have kids from previous relationships, his kids all have his surname, mine all have mine, I wanted a compromise and hyphenate both, he just wanted his surname, it was a non stop argument (to be honest so was baby’s first name, that one made him ‘threaten’ not to go on the birth certificate, I laughed and told him to knock himself out, if he don’t wanna be on it then he won’t be on it 🤷♂️ and that’ll be something all my kids would have in common 😂) eventually I made it clear we hyphenate or it’s my name only, he tried to argue it was traditional for baby to have dad’s surname, I asked A) when he clicked my dating profile 2 years ago, with my shaved hot pink hair, all my tattoos and my absolute adamance that marriage is not for me, what told him I was traditional in my views? And B) traditionally baby has mum’s surname until it’s registered
Please stand your ground on this, if he leaves he leaves 🤷♂️ partners come and go, but your baby will always be there
…reddit always surprises me
I think if you two cannot try to compromise over this, then you’re going to have a really f** hard time raising a kid.
YTA. Don’t do that to your kid.
If the child is to have only one name it has to be yours. You’re not married. You’re carrying that child. Your boyfriend can walk away but you can’t. School and many other things will be very difficult if you have a different name from your child as a single mother
Let the nurse know that you want to fill out the birth certificate paperwork when he’s not around and name the child what you want.
Based on his absurd stance, I really doubt you guys will make it for very long so I would only give the baby your last name, but you do what you feel is right for your family.
He’s using excuses to bully you into doing it his way. Kids will bully your child for any number of things, hyphenated last name is probably very low on the list.
In the US, they will have you fill out the child’s name for the birth certificate before you leave the hospital. You’re not married, so he can’t legally put his name on it without your consent. He would then have to take you to court to establish paternity, after the baby has been named.
First off, dont stick this poor kid with some long hyphenated name. Just give him yours as your bf is showing serious red flags here. Hes willing to leave you over a name. Hes not a keeper.
No offense but huge red flag 🙁
Give the kid your last name, don’t put this fool on the birth certificate, and let him leave. He sounds like an asshole.
In my country and culture we don’t have to worry about this. Our grandparents or close family friends or members name us and each of us has different last names. My family of 5 all have different last names lol.