I 29F was in a long-term 1.5 year relationship with my boyfriend 33M. We had been seriously talking about marriage, and he wanted us to get married in October of next year. I asked if we could delay it by just 5 months. Not because I don’t love him, I truly do but because I want to pass my NCLEX exam, start working as a nurse, and become more financially stable before getting married. I felt like that was a responsible step for both of us. To show my commitment, I even offered to have a ring ceremony (Indian engagement ceremony) in front of both our families during the original timeframe. That way our relationship would be official, real, and seen by both sides. I did this to ease his fears, he’s previously divorced and has expressed deep anxiety about me leaving or wasting his time, no matter how many times I’ve reassured him that I won’t. Despite that, he wouldn’t budge. He said if I couldn’t commit to marrying him in October, he didn’t want to continue. And he ended things. Now I feel completely heartbroken, abandoned, and confused. I thought asking for 5 more months with a commitment ceremony in between was a reasonable compromise. I still love him. But I also feel like my emotional needs and goals were dismissed.
Was asking for extra 5 months an unreasonable ask? Any advice or insight would help. I feel really alone right now.
TL;DR: My (29F) boyfriend (33M) broke up with me because I asked to delay our wedding by 5 months so I could pass my NCLEX, start work, and gain financial stability. I even offered an official Indian ring ceremony with our families to show commitment, but he refused and ended things. I’m heartbroken.
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1.5 years is not long term enough for marriage, imo.
There’s a reason he’s rushing for marriage but I don’t know what. Let him go and focus on your career on your own timeline.
You should be with a partner that values and supports your goals. 5 months is nothing.
You do you, girl!
He was either looking for an excuse to end it, or he’s trying to manipulate you. It’s not about the delay.
If it’s so easy for him to end it over that, you don’t want to marry him anyway.
It was reasonable and you weren’t asking too much at least that’s how I see it. I’m sorry I don’t know how to help, but if you wanna talk I can talk so that you don’t have to feel so alone.
> I truly do but because I want to pass my NCLEX exam, start working as a nurse, and become more financially stable before getting married.
I’m a man. I don’t know his reasons or motives. But for sure, your motivations to delay the wedding were totally reasonable!
Since when is 1.5 years “long-term”? Be serious, OP!
Since when is 1.5 years “long-term”? Be serious, OP!