Long story short – I found out my boyfriend was being sketchy behind my back on social media about a year ago. He was messaging other girls flirting, sexual etc. I broke up with him and he begged for me back but swore up and down that he’s done doing that and that I can trust him. This relationship is SERIOUS.. like we talk about marriage and I was about to move in with him when my lease is up in a few months. Well, a girl just messaged me on Instagram to tell me that he’s been in her messages for months flirting, sending half naked pictures, Snapchat’s etc. she sent me all the screenshots… he was saying he wants to be with her sexually. I’m literally shaking and freaking out right now and my boyfriend is asleep so I can’t even confront him yet. I’ll have to confront him tomorrow. But my question is – what’s the best way to do this? I want to approach it in a way that is firm and direct and doesn’t allow for him to plead his case (which he’s done in the past). I was thinking of just simply sending him the screenshots of the messages she sent me and saying “that was your last chance with me”. What do you think?
TL;DR: my boyfriend broke my trust again and hasn’t changed even though he promised he would. Wondering how should I approach this.
Comments
You need to make it really clear that you guys are over.
“That was your last chance with me. We’re done.”
If he tries to beg or explain or say you’re being unfair you just repeat the above or say “I don’t care. We’re done.” Keep repeating as necessary. The best poison for him will be to completely stonewall him.
I thought I misread and thought you.were the same age, friend, an almost 40 year man can’t control himself and be faithful you’ll be thinking what is he doing behind your back, this is not how you want your life to be. My 2 cents you gave him a chance and he still fucked up, time to call it quits or therapy or pray to God
Print out the messages and leave them
On the kitchen table so when his dumb a** wakes up and sees them he will know why you’re gone and never coming back, and also why you blocked him and forgot his existence ever happened. You should have left after the first time! Cheaters never change. They just get sneakier about it.
He’s 39. Never gonna change at that point. Easiest thing to do would be to write a note, gather your stuff, block him on everything, and leave
Listen to me carefully OP, your proof is in the messages/screenshots. What response do you expect from him that will change the breach in your trust? There is truly no point in confronting, I’d gather all the evidence, leave him a note/letter and be gone without him noticing. Literally disappear from his life, he’s crossed a boundary that he promised to not cross. This isn’t a man you marry.
Why do you need to confront him? You don’t need to have a conversation with him. You don’t need to hear his excuses. He crossed the line. Just end it and move on.
Pack up your stuff and leave. Break up when you are away from him in case he goes nuts. Don’t take him back.
The best way is to disappear from his life.