My boyfriend (40M) says he’s lost sexual attraction to me (20F) but still loves me. Has anyone been through this?

Hi everyone,

I’m posting here because I really need outside perspective on something I don’t know how to process.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. Recently, he told me he wants to break up because he no longer feels sexual attraction toward me. He said he’s been “dragging this for way too long” and doesn’t want to keep wasting my time.

What confuses me is that nothing happened to trigger this. We didn’t have a fight, no betrayal, nothing. One day he just stopped desiring me. Before that, our intimacy was fine. When I asked him why, he admitted he’s not sure himself.

We haven’t been intimate for almost a year now, and we’re in a long-distance relationship so we only see each other once a month. He tried going to therapy on his own a couple of times, but said it didn’t help. He’s told me this has been the best relationship he’s ever had (and for me, it’s mine too). He’s been losing sleep and stressed about this for months, because he cares for me and worries that he’s wasting my time.

I want to make it clear: this isn’t about cheating or another person. And it’s not about physical appearance either — I’ve continued to put in effort to look good and take care of myself. This seems to be something internal that shifted for him.

From my side, I still love him deeply, I’m still attracted to him, and I want to be with him. But he feels the lack of desire is permanent.

So my question is: has anyone ever experienced this before, either on your side or your partner’s? If so, did the attraction ever come back? Is there any way to fix or rebuild intimacy once it’s gone?

TL;DR: Boyfriend (43) says he loves me (28) but has lost all sexual attraction for about a year now. Nothing triggered it, no cheating, not about looks. He’s stressed and feels guilty about wasting my time. I still love him and want to make it work. Has anyone gone through this, and can attraction ever come back?