TL;DR – Been dating for 2 years. He constantly chooses friends over me — even when I’m crying. Cancels plans, ghosts me after fights, and puts in no effort to fix things. I love him, but I feel neglected and hurt. Not sure if I should stay or leave.
My bf (21 M) and me (21 F) have been dating for almost 2 years now. Things were good in the first year. We did fight but it would get resolved quickly. The main issue we had in the first year was that he was always late. Late as in he would keep me waiting for hours because of his friends. He used to make me wait and then leave after 10 minutes for friends. This got resolved eventually. But after 1 year, we started fighting more frequently. The topic of each and every fight has been about him prioritizing his friends over me. I have absolutely no problem with him hanging out with them. I know most of them personally too and they are all great. I have a problem when he cancels our plans constantly to go with them. Forgets our plans but goes out with them. Leaves me in the middle of our hang out when they call. Goes out with them when I was crying my eyes out because of him. (I never cry that was the second time I cried in front of him). He prioritizes a class he goes to twice a week more than me, I have spoken to him about this multiple times but it just does not stop. He literally ghosts me after a fight. I am always the one who has to go back and fix things. He does not put any efforts at all. I feel very disrespected and neglected. I want to make it work because I actually love him a lot but I don’t know how because I have tried everything and it is still not working.
He is done with me constantly complaining about everything and he feels like he is not enough for me. That is not my intention. I just want him to know what my boundaries so he can respect it. I really want to make it work and so does he. But we are not able to solve this. Please give me some advice. I need a third person POV to help me decide if I should stay and work it out or leave. Are these reasons enough to leave?
Comments
Giiirrrrrlllll…..
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I read 2 sentences max. Stop begging for love and accepting crumbs.
how is this still a question ? break up, he can’t even seem to acknowledge the fact that even when you’re crying you need him with you. this is only going to be worse in the future, prioritizing other things that are less important than you. sometimes you just need to let go things and people. it’s gonna hurt for sure, but prioritize yourself and your own well-being, no one’s gonna do that for you. if you didn’t speak to him about this, i suggest you do, then if in a month or so, he keeps doing the same mistake, then breakup. don’t stay with someone who don’t cherish and value you as much as you do.
You arent his girlfriend You are a fwb. Treat him accordingly.
He says he wants to make it work, but really he doesn’t. His actions show that he cannot be bothered and/or he doesn’t love you enough or at all. I has a similar problem with an ex, where I felt like he did not invest as much into the relationship as I did (your bf is worse because he doesn’t even seem to respect you by wasting your time). We were constantly fighting because of that. Eventually it turned out he just did not love me, but he didn’t understand his own feelings yet.
Your ex just sounds like someone who wants the girlfriend without the commitment.
And also again he doesn’t respect you! You don’t even treat your friends with this much disrespect, nevermind your gf! Making you wait, leaving when you are crying, canceling plans —> all things I would end a friendship over, nevermind a romantic relationship….
He wants to make it work? Really? Where are you drawing that conclusion from? Because his actions and general behavior scream that he either couldn’t care less or he’s actively trying to get you to go away without having to ask you directly.
I am sorry I didn’t read the whole story I just read the title and I am saying leave him
Yep I have read the story and ys leave him