Hi Reddit this is a long one with please bare with me. Also my minds all over the place so please excuse any grammar errors. Lastly my boyfriends sister a huge fan of the podcast and told me that I should ask you all for advice.
I 21f and my boyfriend 23m just became Instagram official, although we have been seeing each other for about 8 months now. He’s truly is my soulmate and have truly never been happier. We are in the process of moving in together.
Now for the other guy. We where in the same friend group throughout school. I lived in a small town and went to a small school. I had a real set group of friends since elementary school, the other guy, lets call him David (fake name) joined our group in highschool. He ended up getting at job at the same restaurant I worked at and we became even better friends. That was until about my second year into highschool when I went to homecoming with one of our mutual friends (lefts call him John). After John and I went to homecoming together David started to completely cut John and I out. Convinced the group to stop hanging out with us at lunch or outside of school, and completely gave me the cold shoulder at work. That was until me and John decided we would be better off as friends. Then everything went back to normal.
After that prom came around and David asked if I would go with him. I politely declined. He kept insisting and I kept saying no, and that my best friend Tracy and I where going without dates because she recently got out of a relationship and wanted to go with just the girls. Later at prom found out that he texted Tracy before hand asking what color dress I was wearing and showed up in the same color tux. All night made comments about how we looked “like a couple” and “this would have been funner as a date”. After that I avoided him as much as possible.
A couple months later he started a dating this girl a town over. And I got into a couple year long toxic relationships (that I won’t get into but is important). David and I lost touch.
Later me and my ex broke up and coincidently David and his girlfriend broke up too. And he reached out. Me being a good friend listened to his sob story about breaking up with his ex and how toxic she was to him. Then started bringing up that he might be ready to date again and that he was looking for someone like me. I mentioned that I wasn’t ready to date anytime soon and said I hope he finds someone else and whatever he was looking for.
After that I graduated early and moved away for school. Stopped reaching out to the group. David texted me daily, I maybe replied monthly. He would ask to come see me, ask me to fly out and see him, I always declined. And finally ghosted him altogether (rude I know but idk what to do).
Now to the present. After I posted pictures of me and my boyfriend all my friends from highschool started flooding my DMs asking me how I could be such a heartless bitch and how I could cheat on David. I told them that we never dated and I had been rejecting him since highschool.
He apparently told our friends that I was the reason him and his ex broke up cause we “where too in love with each other” and told our friends that we actually went to prom together. And told them that we where doing long distance. Apparently he even told his mom that he wanted to marry me and even asked her for her ring. (Got an angry dm from her about it too.)
All this time I’ve made it very clear I don’t like him. And now everyone says I lead him on. My boyfriend and his sister think that everyone is insane to think I lead him on and thinking I’m awful.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Cause how am I leading on a man to the point he thinks we are dating even when we haven’t talked in 5 months and telling our mutual friends he wants to marry me when I’ve been rejecting him for years.
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Backup of the post’s body: Hi Reddit this is a long one with please bare with me. Also my minds all over the place so please excuse any grammar errors. Lastly my boyfriends sister a huge fan of the podcast and told me that I should ask you all for advice.
I 21f and my boyfriend 23m just became Instagram official, although we have been seeing each other for about 8 months now. He’s truly is my soulmate and have truly never been happier. We are in the process of moving in together.
Now for the other guy. We where in the same friend group throughout school. I lived in a small town and went to a small school. I had a real set group of friends since elementary school, the other guy, lets call him David (fake name) joined our group in highschool. He ended up getting at job at the same restaurant I worked at and we became even better friends. That was until about my second year into highschool when I went to homecoming with one of our mutual friends (lefts call him John). After John and I went to homecoming together David started to completely cut John and I out. Convinced the group to stop hanging out with us at lunch or outside of school, and completely gave me the cold shoulder at work. That was until me and John decided we would be better off as friends. Then everything went back to normal.
After that prom came around and David asked if I would go with him. I politely declined. He kept insisting and I kept saying no, and that my best friend Tracy and I where going without dates because she recently got out of a relationship and wanted to go with just the girls. Later at prom found out that he texted Tracy before hand asking what color dress I was wearing and showed up in the same color tux. All night made comments about how we looked “like a couple” and “this would have been funner as a date”. After that I avoided him as much as possible.
A couple months later he started a dating this girl a town over. And I got into a couple year long toxic relationships (that I won’t get into but is important). David and I lost touch.
Later me and my ex broke up and coincidently David and his girlfriend broke up too. And he reached out. Me being a good friend listened to his sob story about breaking up with his ex and how toxic she was to him. Then started bringing up that he might be ready to date again and that he was looking for someone like me. I mentioned that I wasn’t ready to date anytime soon and said I hope he finds someone else and whatever he was looking for.
After that I graduated early and moved away for school. Stopped reaching out to the group. David texted me daily, I maybe replied monthly. He would ask to come see me, ask me to fly out and see him, I always declined. And finally ghosted him altogether (rude I know but idk what to do).
Now to the present. After I posted pictures of me and my boyfriend all my friends from highschool started flooding my DMs asking me how I could be such a heartless bitch and how I could cheat on David. I told them that we never dated and I had been rejecting him since highschool.
He apparently told our friends that I was the reason him and his ex broke up cause we “where too in love with each other” and told our friends that we actually went to prom together. And told them that we where doing long distance. Apparently he even told his mom that he wanted to marry me and even asked her for her ring. (Got an angry dm from her about it too.)
All this time I’ve made it very clear I don’t like him. And now everyone says I lead him on. My boyfriend and his sister think that everyone is insane to think I lead him on and thinking I’m awful.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Cause how am I leading on a man to the point he thinks we are dating even when we haven’t talked in 5 months and telling our mutual friends he wants to marry me when I’ve been rejecting him for years.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You need a restraining order. He’s seriously disturbed
Get off social media
If that’s not an option, block him, his family, and any one else coming after you.
Move on with your life. Call the police if he gets more unhinged. Best wishes
Go private and remove people who aren’t close to you or trustworthy. I agree with your bf and his sister, this sounds like insane small town drama. You’ve moved on, live somewhere new, and have no ties to those people anymore. This David guy sounds scary and obsessive, or some weird pathological liar/narcissist.