I am 25 years old and my ex-boyfriend is 23. And we have had a relationship for two years, one, the first, was in person and the latter was long distance. We both studied audiovisual production but my withdrawn personality and other problems have led me to create my own business. He, on the other hand, has an audiovisual career that is taking off, he is really good at what he does. The last year of our relationship has been difficult, I am someone who is difficult to deal with when I am in my days, my brain really goes crazy. We have had discussions, one at least every month or every two months. Among other things that have made our relationship difficult is that in order to see each other it had to be hidden from my father, who is a fairly conservative man and I am very afraid to tell him about my partner for fear that he will throw me out on the street claiming that because I have a boyfriend I will no longer be his responsibility. There is also the fact that our emotional needs have become distant, I have few friends and I really don’t like the place I live (I have severe traumas from adolescence) but my sister and I set up this business and I am really determined to get it off the ground. A week or so ago, he and I had an argument. Because I felt sad because on his last day off he only took a few minutes to talk to me and I hoped it would be much longer. In fact, I have a post out there telling that in detail in case you want to read it. I didn’t want to dwell on the topic for too long because I was working and I didn’t want to overwhelm him, but I was very harsh and told him not in a very nice way, not with rudeness either, just dryly, that I hadn’t slept over thinking about our future, since I didn’t want it to be like the present. Apparently that affected him too much, because we were apparently fine the following days, but three days ago we saw each other again for a couple of hours (because it was really more of a getaway to go see him) at the end of the meeting he told me very determinedly that he wanted to end our relationship, that he loved me very much but that the situation overwhelmed him and that no matter how much he thought about it and thought about it, he didn’t see a future for us. I insisted a lot that he give me a little more time, that I would take therapy and talk to my dad. Seeing my insistence, he agreed, I suppose out of the love he still feels for me. But unintentionally, due to my anxiety, I put pressure on him a little and wanted him to tell me if he wanted to see that future, because not seeing it and not wanting it do not have to be the same thing. He exploded a little and told me that he didn’t see it, that it was not only blurry, that he didn’t see it at all. That it is wrong, mentally and sentimentally. I’m drowning, thinking about unsubscribing from life every hour, I have many moments of crisis and I can’t stop thinking that he’s wrong, that if the tough guy didn’t show up, he should let me show him, I decided to make an appointment with a psychologist, he hasn’t been able to make the appointment yet, but I also made the decision to talk to my dad, I half-told him that he exists, I didn’t tell him that we’re really done and that there’s nothing to do, and now he wants to meet him. And I told my boyfriend about it and it only served to reaffirm that if he ended the relationship it was not to come back. And I feel very desperate. I’m seeking psychological help, but I feel like the pain overwhelms me faster than I can process it.
My questions are: • Has anyone gone through a breakup where there was still love involved? What did they do to cope? • Can couples therapy help if only one wants to try it? • How do you handle when your heart, emotional stability, and family support are broken at the same time?
Sorry for the length, I just needed to get it out there and hear experiences from those who have gone through something like this.
TL;DR:
My boyfriend broke up with me although there is still love. I want to fight for the relationship, he doesn’t see a future together. Has anyone gone through something similar? Is it worth trying couples therapy or is it better to accept?
Comments
breakups where love still exists hurt the worst but sometimes it’s the biggest sign to let go cuz timing n compatibility matter more than just feelings