For context I am F21 and he is M23 and we’ve been dating for about 6-7 months now.
So I’m not really sure what to do anymore. My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of arguments lately, and I can just feel him pulling away again. (Our arguments have been me telling him to give me more love and affection and I think he is just annoyed of me) He cheated on me in the past, (he was texting another girl) and after everything came out, he begged me to give him another chance. He said he would do anything to keep me. I did, because I really loved him and I wanted to believe he meant it.
Now we’re long distance (it’s been about 2 weeks long distance) and it honestly feels like he’s not doing anything to keep the relationship alive. Very little effort, little communication (even after telling him I wanted him to talk to me more), nothing. We’re both kind of just giving each other the silent treatment right now. Not really in the way a relationship should be.
It hurts because I feel like I’m the only one who cares. I put myself through so much pain trying to make it work again after he betrayed me, and now he’s just distant.
I don’t even know if he wants to be with me anymore. I’m so tired of trying to fight for someone who won’t even lift a finger for me.
Any advice would help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend cheated, begged me to take him back, and promised to change. Now that we’re long distance, he’s putting in no effort barely talks to me, and we’re both giving each other the silent treatment. I still love him, but it feels like I’m the only one trying, and I don’t know what to do anymore
Comments
Girl, you’ve been together 7 months, it is still the honeymoon phase and this ain’t no honeymoon. My advice, don’t waste any more time on him.
I’ve had warts older than 7 months
You are the only one who cares. There’s nothing to save here.
Half a year in he’s already cheated, done nothing to gain back the trust that you barely had enough time to build in the first place and is now apparently trying to slowly ghost you. This is very obviously not the right guy or the right relationship for you, and the real question you should be asking yourself here is, what’s keeping you from seeing that?
Dump, block, and enjoy your life.
Nope nope nope. Get out of this relationship. You are young and barely involved and he cheated on you. Honestly, if you encounter big problems before like a year, your relationship is doomed anyway. Just my opinion.
YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER.
I know you are young and it may not seem this way, but 7 months is nothing. If he couldn’t stay faithful in that short of a window when the relationship is new and exciting, he is not worth investing any time with. What do you think he is going to when the relationship is 5 years old. There are lots of people out there that will respect you more than that. In cases of a partner cheating, ALWAYS choose yourself. Good luck!
Best thing to do is believe him. He’s drawing away. He wants to have you as a girlfriend but he doesn’t want to do the work of being a boyfriend. Leave him.
Your boyfriend is probably still cheating on you, made easier through distance. Speaking from experience, it gets so much better when you stop trying to fix what’s broken and instead find a person who is already exactly how you’d always hoped a person could be.
I look back at the time I wasted and only wish I could have known how much better things could be if I’d just found someone who loves the same as me. Now I’m with the best partner I could ever ask for, better than I thought existed. And only because I left my cheating ex and stopped accepting less than I deserved
I want to gently challenge you our statement of “I still love him” and ask you to check in with yourself. What does love feel like? Look like in action? Sound like? Then zoom out and look at this from a broader perspective… Do you have a complicated history with people, like maybe your parents, saying they loved you while actually treating you really poorly? Would the 8-year-old version of you be excited & looking forward to being in this relationship when she grows up?
Only you can answer those questions, but from my vantage point, just because the relationship you’re in now is slightly less abusive than ones you’ve been in before doesn’t make it a safe, healthy, happy love story. It’s just a smaller dumpster fire.
Walk away, it’s been six months.
Please don’t leave
Your BF is a gem
It’s rare to find such people
He didn’t care about losing you when he cheated. He only cared when something was being taken from him. TBH it’s not a surprise he’s pulling away again. Sorry
Just break up. It sounds stupid.
I’d cut your losses and move on tbh. Not worth it now that the trust is broken
Imagine this is the story you have to tell your future kids , about how you two fell in love. Is this the love story you want to have ?
He cheated, that was not okay. Leave