My boyfriend and I had a foursome with another couple (a girl and her boyfriend that we met online), and I enjoyed it so much. We agreed only to soft swap. I loved when I made out with the girl—it absolutely turned me on even more. I loved when we went down on each other. I enjoyed seeing her sucking my boyfriend off. I absolutely loved sucking her boyfriend too. I loved when he ate me out and fingered me; it was so passionate, so different. And I enjoyed watching my boyfriend doing the same with her. He asked if he could fuck her, but I refused because that was one of the things we agreed not to do. He asked twice or three times, and I said I might be okay with it if he fucks me as well, but he said no, and we continued our night with them.
After the night ended, I asked my boyfriend if we could fully swap next time because I actually enjoyed it, and the first time was successful—so we could do it again, but fully swap with everyone’s consent. But he didn’t like that night (as he claimed) and said we wouldn’t do it ever again, although it was initially his idea. He kept asking me why I want to sleep with him that bad, even though he wanted to sleep with her too—and it’s understandable because the moment was so heated. After this night, I feel like I would want to have sex with this guy; he seems very passionate and knows exactly what he’s doing. But my boyfriend just doesn’t want to do it again. Later, he told me we could try again, but he still doesn’t want me to have sex with the other guy—he’s only okay with oral. He said I could have oral with her boyfriend, and he can have sex with his girlfriend. But I think that’s not fair. I got obsessed with this idea, and I want to do it again, but this time to swing. How can I convince him?
Comments
You posted yesterday that you think your boyfriend hates you. If you could add an edit with information on why you think he hates you , it might help us to give you better advice on this issue.
i think just communicating the unfairness. if he gets to do a full swap, you should be able too. if not, soft swap for both if neither of you could agree.
good luck and have fun!
would love to hear how the full night went tho! how the conversations went and what you guys did as foreplay! were trying to start swinging also
I ain’t touching this. This seems like a breakup just waiting to happen. Wouldn’t let that shit happen to me though!
That’s common in the LS, but not in an acceptable way. Each partner needs to be equal. Unless it’s what each of you is totally into. A lot of couples like one to have sex and the other watches. But they’re into it.
For him to limit you like that, that’s wrong and unhealthy in the LS. He can’t be jealous of you and get to have his cake!
You guys are done. You both want different things out of this. You’re not compatible anymore. That’s ok, just break up and move before you hurt each other.
Well, a day ago you posted that he hated you. So i guess it’s time to break up?
Sorry you blew up your relationship! Sounds like the your boyfriend has figured out the other guy is better in bed than him and is jealous.
You are also Bi and the relationship you are in is just not compatible with your needs now. Sorry to say but I agree your relationship is done.
Sounds to me he wasn’t prepared for you to enjoy it so much, you’re probably gonna either have to just drop the whole idea or leave the relationship because it sounds like this option is off the table for him going forward
This issue is unfortunately pretty common… Pandora’s box has been opened… ps. A coworker once told me about a threesome with another female… His girlfriend liked it so much, they split up, and she went with the other girl…
You are not married to him. You can do whatever you want. It sounds like a relationship is not in the cards for you.
Commenting as someone who is in a polyamorous relationship.
It seems to me he wants unequal treatment in his favor. He views your pussy as exclusively his, and no other penis may enter it, even if he might be interested in using his elsewhere.
Your options to me seem to be either never do this again, potentially do it again but have to go with whatever his rules are even if it doesn’t fulfill all of your needs and desires, or find a new partner who is more compatible with what you want.
And as in everything, the key things to keep in mind are trust and communication. If either of those break down in any way, there will be trouble. And that includes your trust in him that he does these things with you as a couple for your mutual enjoyment, and communication on what limits may exist and if they work for everyone involved.
Just no. If he’s happy to fuck her but you can’t fuck him it’s a time bomb waiting to happen, avoid the situation entirely as it’s only going to end in tears…
r/openmarriageregret
It has to be equal
Pandora?
Well if you break up with your boyfriend, you might have a couple you could stay with.
Your bf is a loser. He wanted to fuck the other woman, and then dropped it because the other guy would fuck you? Are you seriously investing into this garbage?
First off, you should never try to convince someone to engage in sexual activity they don’t want. That’s coercion, and even if he agreed to it it wouldn’t be truly consensual.
Second, as others mention, the fact that he wants different things allowed for you vs. him is total bs and a huge red flag. Don’t put up with that crap, but also don’t try to make him a swinger if he’s not ready.
Your boyfriend realized he doesn’t want to see his girl getting her back blown out by another guy. He’s 28 and got a wake up call. That ain’t marriage material
Maybe just play along with it until you are with the other guy and just pop him in, whoops, heat of the moment and all that, then break it off because you are for the streets and so is he. Maybe you will bump into each other on a corner somewhere.
It sounds like this might be the path for you sexually and there is a whole community of people out there that are accepting and open to it. Once you open the tap, it’s hard to put the water back in. This is now something you have experienced and want to do again. It’s going to lead to issues. He will think you are secretly meeting with couples whenever he cant find you.
He is upset that he wasn’t the star of the show, it sounds like. His idea was not for your pleasure, but rather, his. At least that is how it sounds. Seems like you have different ideas and paths for sexuality.
As a 53 year old who regrets not trying all the things because of some boyfriend I had at the time, This seems like a time to reflect if this is the right relationship for you.
Sounds like double standards to me.
He was all confident going in and wanted to even fuck the other girl but now that you enjoyed the experience too much he’s backing out? How convenient.
21st Century in a nutshell
Refused. You are to be congratulated on having attained such moral discipline.
You can’t get there from here. Might as well throw it all away as you have.
He didn’t want you to enjoy group sex so much. He’s jealous now.
Your relationship is changing rapidly into a bunker mentality. “How do I persuade such and such?” What can I get?
This is so far out there I’m not sure there’s many examples of this working. I would end the relationship and see if you can just have periodic sex with these other people.
Worst relationship ever.
He wanted to f her without allowing you to do the same. Thats why hes not happy.
He did not like you playing with her bf, op. Hes a hypocrite.
You should.ask the other couple if they want a new gf…as you’re looking for a couple. Tell your bf , ex bf, things changed. Time to move on. Have fun
You’re with the wrong guy. You’re too young to settle but trust me you will blink and realize 15 years passed as you made little concessions at the expense of your true desires.
You guys both need to break up and just become polyamorous hippies who do coke on the side…. none of this is normal.
You guys both need to break up and just become polyamorous hippies who do coke on the side…. none of this is normal.
He wants his cake and eat it too.
Put your foot down, if he isn’t going to be comfortable with you having sex with the other guy, then he can’t have sex with the girl. Point blank period.
Your bf sounds selfish AF. Honestly when you break up with him (I hope you do eventually), just have a threesome with the couple. The guy sounds like a better lover