A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend suddenly disappearing after a Home Office appointment. He went completely silent—no messages, no replies—for 10 days. It was the most painful and confusing time for me.
Yesterday, he finally messaged me. He told me he’s been overwhelmed and scared these past few days and didn’t know how to deal with everything. He said he’s likely going to court at the end of June, and there’s a 99% chance he will go to prison.
I won’t go too much detail about the detail, cuz I actually don’t know too much, he never told me the whole story, but it seems like many years ago he punched someone , caught by police but ran away. already knew a bit about his past.
Now he says this is the end for him and that I should move on. He told me he still loves me deeply but doesn’t want to hold me back or make me wait. He’s asked me to live my life and be free.
I’m heartbroken. he treated me with so much love, support, and honesty in our relationship. He truly made me a better person. Despite everything, I don’t see him as just someone with a criminal past—I see the man he has become, someone who regrets his mistakes and tried to build a new life.
I don’t know what to do. I still love him so much. I don’t know how long he’ll be in prison, or whether I should wait, or try to let go. Part of me wants to support him through this. Another part of me is scared and deeply hurt.
Currently I’m completely broken…
Comments
A single punch without a prior record in most western countries is not a long term jail sentence.
I would personally be curious. I’d ask him to have his lawyer explain what the charges are to you directly. If he declines, it’s probably much worse then he said or he’s completely lying.
At this point assume anything he says may he a lie. I would not trust anything unless confirmed via a third party.
I would just move on!
So he never told you exactly what happened, and he’s still not telling you what’s happening now. That’s not how people generally treat their loved ones. He “ran away” but they found him many years later? This doesn’t really make much sense. At best he’s not being fully open and honest with you. At worst he’s spinning you complete bullshit, either about the crime he committed (if any) or his situation now. Because call me a cynic, but “I’m going to jail, move on, bye” is exactly what a coward would tell someone they didn’t have the strength to just break up with.
Tell him “no, and screw you for trying to make that choice for me. You’re not treating me like a partner, you’re not being honest with me. Tell me exactly what’s going on.” Attend his court date, hear the charges.
And by boyfriend, you mean you’ve met him in real life. Like in person? This wasn’t an online relationship?
If his victim ended up in a hospital he could have caused some type of permanent injury/ disability. There seems to be information missing. I would suggest moving on. This could be bigger than you think.
He refuses to tell you what happened It must be pretty bad and I would not put up with that. He’s a criminal now so move on don’t wait for him that would be ridiculous.
I would be suspicious of his story, not heartbroken. He disappeared for 10 days, and all of a sudden he’s 99% sure he’s going to prison at the end of June???? He didn’t think enough of you to at least respond to any of those messages and say, “listen babe, I’ve been dealing with a lot and need some time before I’m ready to talk to you about it.” He just ignored you for 10 days. That’s crazy work. He didn’t even bother to tell you much about the story. I think you need to heed his advice and move on. Sounds like some shenanigans are going on…
This sounds weird as hell, he’s hiding something
Can you not look up criminal cases like we can here in the US? We can see what people are being held on. There has to be more or this story than he’s letting on. First and foremost, determine what the actual charges are. I don’t think a single punch years ago would be something that they would pursue, but if that was in addition to some kind of criminal flight or evasion he may do a little time. Without knowing what he is actually being charged with you really have no idea what kind of time, if any, he’s looking at. Figure that out first, but a man does need a ride-or-die when he’s down. It’s ultimately up to you and what makes you happy. Put some money on his books and find his charging documents and y’all take it from there.
Follow his advice –
He’s a bad boy and feeding you the melodramatic lines directly out of a romance novel. That way he can keep the door open.
Wake up to yourself and run.
When people tell you something, listen.
Only been together a year? Won’t tell you the details?
I would listen to him and move on. He’s hiding something and you don’t need that drama in your life.
The smart move is to dump the perp and move on. You don’t want to be married to convict in the slam