TL;DR; My boyfriend doesn’t take many pictures of or with me, but I found a lot more pictures of his ex and him when he let me go through his Snapchat gallery. I just want to know if it’s because she’s prettier than me and if there’s anything I can do.
My (25f) boyfriend (23m) have been together for 1.5 years. He doesn’t take many spontaneous, candid, or posed pictures of me or us. When he does take spontaneous pictures, I usually look really ugly in them and ask him to delete them. He keeps them anyways. I was looking through his Snapchat last night because I was curious about what his ex looked like in candid pictures and videos. She’s so much prettier than me and he took random pictures/videos of her often. He’d take videos of her sleeping on his chest and riding in the passenger seat. I can’t complain about it because I did ask to see them and he handed me his phone, but it still makes my stomach hurt and self esteem crush thinking about it.
I feel like if I got prettier somehow he’d take more pics/vids of me. He’s only posted me on snap twice in the time we’ve been together, but he’s only posted on snap 4 times in that time and 2 of them were me.
Can any males on here tell me if I’m right about why he won’t take pictures of me or post me more often? Do you think if I was prettier or tried hard to look good more often that he’d take more pictures of and with me?
Also off topic, would I be wrong for deleting the bad pictures of me? Not even all of the bad ones just the God awful ones .
Edit: I only ask him to delete the ones that he takes that are intentionally bad. For example, pictures of me with my mouth open going to take a big bite of food, or mid sneeze, or mid sentence when I’m talking and my mouth is open or contorted. I don’t ask him to delete the candid pictures that aren’t horrible. Only the really really bad ones. But that’s the thing, I’m actually very confident in myself and the way that I look. I like to have pictures taken of me. I post my candid pictures because sometimes they come out better than posed ones. I usually have to ask him to take pictures of me, he never just pulls his phone out and takes pictures/vids of me like he did with his ex. Which is why this situation is making me doubt myself and doubt if he thinks I’m pretty enough. I know that I’m pretty enough, but I can’t guarantee he feels that way unless he shows it like he showed her. That’s why I want a male opinion telling me why there would be a difference in action between 2 females.
Comments
It sounds like you might be overthinking it. People act differently in different relationships. Taking photos randomly doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you’re beautiful. If hes with you then he is attracted to you! He is with you and not her for a reason
is it at all possible the ex specifically asked to have a ton of candid photos?
I used to be the kinda girl who took selfie and pictures of stuff but after a while I grew out of that and now only rarely take photos and typically only for like special occasions or vacations… even then I might not lol
personally I dont think you should delete the photos that you consider bad… mostly because that’s ONLY your opinion and our opinion of ourselves are a bit harsh compared to what strangers may think. memories are memories and worth keeping imo
I dont typically like any pictures of me but ive learned to just… well not give a F about it lol its helped my mental health a LOT but was quite the work in progress for years to get to this really dgaf point and granted I am 31 and had only started trying to be like that around age 25 so I wouldnt blame you for not feeling that way.. yet 😉
dont think of the past unless red flags are coming up, it’ll only hinder your own mentality in my experience
good luck OP!! 🙂
It’s honestly weird that your boyfriend of 1.5 years still has pictures of his ex and hasn’t deleted them? Like what’s the point?
But I also wanna say that I feel like men ( or at least the ones I’ve dated) rarely ever takes pictures and doesn’t really care about social media much so don’t bother to take a bunch of photos , or even post anything . My first ex who was very loyal to me (we ended on good terms) never posted anything on social media nor rarely took photos of me , only on FaceTime
That being said I think the main thing you should be worrying about is if he’s sneaky with his phone and acts weird when you get near him while he’s on the phone . Or if he’s following a lot of women/ OF girls. If he’s treats you very good then there isn’t much to worry about
And you’re beautiful , I know it can be annoying to have those “awful” photos on his phone , but if it is on his phone then it probably means he still loves you no matter what you look like in the photo
There’s many things potentially going on. One thing could be that he did take a lot of pictures but you’re asking him to delete most of them made him not want to take as many.
If he is keeping them for himself and he likes the pictures of you, let him keep them… even if you’re about to take a bite of food. He might like seeing you enjoying that food and it provides him happiness seeing you enjoy something and isn’t focused on how pretty the photo is in the first place.
Also, comparison is the thief of joy. Trying to compare your relationship with another is bound to only upset you. If you were happy before you looked to see how many of his exes photos were there, then that’s a “you” problem.
I have more photos of myself with my ex than I do my Fiancee. She never asks for photos or barely takes any.
Meanwhile my ex sent me titty pictures everyday and took photos of us daily (I removed all her nudes fyi).
Still love my Fiancee above all else. The amount of photos I have of her doesn’t matter what matters is I think she is beautiful and an amazing woman.
I wouldn’t say no if she sent me an occasional titty pic though lol.
yup yup. i was in the same boat as you. my now ex had pictures of his ex EVERYWHERE. I didn’t even care if he kept them because after all they’re memories but looking at his social medias, you’d think that they were still together. i think during the time we were together her took 1 picture with me…. never anything of me. Not to toot my own horn or anything but based on society’s beauty standards i am the more attractive one. my point in saying that is because it doesn’t matter how you look. A guy is going to love who he loves and every relationship is different.
Why does he have pictures of his ex at first place? 🏃♀️