My partner(23M) and I (22F) have been together for 4 months and it’s been great for the most part. He travels a lot for work, and it’s usually flights. He usually tells me when they’re taking off or boarding but he forgot recently and it made me anxious. He doesn’t live on his phone but he listens to a lot of music. He seems to be distant when it comes to texting but he’s always fine being on calls with me. He’d rather snap then text when we can’t be on call and it bothers me. I’m not a fan of snap but I’m also jealous because he has a female best friend who he’s known for many years on there and they snap often, she has a boyfriend and he’s told me she is harmless but I’m just jealous, I’m also insecure becuase some of her Instagram posts show a lot of body, and he likes those posts. I’ve talked to him about everything and he said I just need to quit being so insecure. Can someone provide some insight or help to allow me to see things differently.
To add: I will be moving 3 hours away in about 5 months for work and he’s told me that he will come visit when he can every couple of weeks and we can call like usual. I just don’t know how to deal with how he doesn’t like to text much.
TL;DR: How do I deal with not texting much and how do I not be insecure about a healthy relationship?
Comments
If he’s not texting you are you worried about something? What do you worry about?
How much are you communicating otherwise, on calls and in person?
My wife’s best friend is a male and it doesn’t phase me in the slightest. He’s a good dude and we get along great.
If you have a healthy relationship, I don’t think this is too alarming or out of the ordinary.
For the texting part, my wife and I have been together for 6 years and I’d say on average, we text 2-3 messages a day (sometimes none) and that’s how it’s been the entire time. Like your bf, I don’t live in my phone and neither does she. I have to use my phone a lot for work and I bet yours does too if he travels. The last thing I want to do most days is get on my phone after or during work. Just like right now. I’m at work in my downtime. But after, it’ll be put on the charger and I won’t look at it again unless I get a call.
I think maybe being younger as you are may add to the anxiety that you’re facing. Of course, the younger generation is normally more attached to a phone and being in contact with your significant other. I’d say as long as you are happy in the relationship then just try to embrace the distance. It does make spending time together better – at least for me. Then there are things to talk about and converse over.
I know this may not be much help but just my experience being in my mid 30s.
Honestly your best bet is to just talk about this with him. Explain how it makes you feel and try to incorporate it more.
Long distance relationship rarely last. They take a lot of communication and effort to work. He is already lacking the communication issue.