This has happened quite a bit of times, I don’t want to go into too many details because I don’t want to disrespect him. I’ll just go into what happened this time. He got out of bed, and peed into two of my dressers. He climbed back into bed. I asked him about it and he’s like “I couldn’t make it to the toilet” or something like that. Every time that he has done this though it’s been in places where it can easily be cleaned up. I already had a lot of laundry to do, now I have 2 drawers full that needs to be washed too. I just got hit with “I don’t remember doing that, nothing looks pissed in” like touch it, I know what I saw, feel if it’s wet. I need him to take accountability, I don’t care if he remembers doing it or not, I saw it happen, the evidence is there too as the clothes were wet. I don’t think that’s something to lie about? But then again people will lie about anything these days. I feel like I need this to be made up to me, I need him to do something to make up for this. Clean the apartment, help me do laundry, I don’t know something. I don’t know how to navigate this
My boyfriend is peeing in our room
r/Advice
Comments
Is he sleep walking?
I have a friend who does that and has peed in many places he shouldn’t as a result.
Does he sleepwalk? is he an alcoholic?
Bruh, this ain’t sleepwalk peeing. Dude’s just straight up disrespecting your stuff and then gaslighting you afterward? Nah, he needs to clean up his act – literally. Get you a guy who knows what a damn bathroom is, sis! U deserve better! 👏👏👏
Honestly, I could be overreacting but this could possibly be a kink of his. If he doesn’t sleep walk or drink a lot then that could be it, possibly a medical condition but the fact hes acting like it’s no big deal is concerning
Is this a sudden occurrence? If it is, has anything of note happened around the time it started? Or has he done this before you two got together and moved in? Has he ever sleep walked before? Is it only your stuff he’s peeing on? Why isn’t he cleaning it up and doing the laundry?
Have you talked to him during the day about this? If he doesn’t believe you film him next time. If he is sleepwalking this is excusable. If he isn’t and he is doing this on purpose you should have long broken up with him because this is beyond disrespectful and at that point he is doing it on purpose, whether for a kink or some other messed up reason, but that is not the type of person you should be dating.
Run
Maybe it could help if you stop dating fking dogs.
Not a normal human person would do it
Have him see a doctor or therapist to look into this.
Set up a camera.
Is he 88?
I’m going to go with, he’s drunk. A guy my in-laws knew used to do this when he was in the midst of raging alcoholism. I’m sorry, OP. Don’t let him sleep there anymore. You can’t be with someone who does things like this. He’s on his own journey and needs to sort that out himself.
Bruh, this ain’t normal and def not okay. Sounds like he’s avoidin’ responsibility big time. Dude’s gotta shape up, help clean up his own mess (literally) and maybe see a doc if this keeps happening. Ain’t nobody got time for pissy drawers 🙄💯
Kind of sounds like he’s not fully awake when he’s doing this. Slap him.
I’m sorry. But people who pisses into my drawers are not welcome in my bed.
Plus: he downplays it and let YOU clean it up? What a peeeep
Idk abt you; but pissing on my stuff, denying it, and then being an asshole about it? Those are all dealbreakers for me.
Ask him during the day. He might be sleepwalking. Check for carbon monoxide
Does he drink too much alcohol?
Drinking?
He needs to see a doctor for his sleepwalking before we walks out into traffic or jumps through a window in his sleep.
Buy a plastic bucket or urinal and keep it on his side. It also might be a good idea to see a doctor to rule out anything medical that could be causing this.
I refuse to believe anyone on earth would tolerate this.
He disrespected you. A la poubelle!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend.
This sounds like behavior of someone who is close to being blackout drunk.
Your bf needs to get medically diagnosed as he may have some type of sleepwalking issues if he is peeing in places other than the toilet. Unless he has some type.of kink about peeing in drawers or other spots easily cleanable,IMO, this is a medical issue that he needs help with
Look up parasomnia
Wtf.. why are you still with him? And why are you acting like this is somewhat normal behavior that deserves some excuse? Gross. Respect yourself more and dump him. The fact you’d want to stay with a guy who pees in your drawers (regardless of reason) and then downplays it especially by saying “I couldn’t make it to the toilet” says a lot.
If you have a guest room, keep all of your stuff in there! Make him clean up his own mess. Speak to his mom. If it is sleep walking, it didn’t just start. If he refuses to clean up his mess, you have two choices:
1: Start sleeping in another room or on the couch until other living arrangements can be made…or
2. Get use to cleaning up his messes for the rest of your life.
How can you not have considered this is sleepwalking? Has he ever done it during the day, like in the afternoon or middle of the morning?
Is your boyfriend a toddler? That’s something a child would do.
If he’s not sleepwalking, you are wired about disrespecting him? Wtf
Best thing to do.is break up. He’s gross.
I knew a guy who would do this a lot when he was drunk. Quite a few times in a wardrobe. least annoying was the wastebasket.
Put his clothes in the dresser or where he is peeing!
Bro, make him live elsewhere. Cleaning up another adult’s piss is nauseating. If he won’t clean it, he moves out!!
He’s saying he didn’t do it so you clean it up is my guess.
Sit him on the curb with a free sign on his shirt.
Sleep walking is mistaking a different place for the bathroom. (Lots of sleep walkers in my family). He plainly told he couldn’t make it. It’s not the same.
He’s a direct descendant of Sasquatch.
He needs to wear a depends undergarment. Just peeing anywhere because he can’t make it is unacceptable and gross.
Get this dude a bowl or pan. Is he a drunk this is peeing on par with that behavior
He is either suffering from a severe illness, or not the one.
Yeah this isn’t normal. He isn’t just being lazy. If he isn’t drunk, I’m guessing sleepwalking. Or he at least isn’t fully aware of what is happening.
My ex did this, though 99.9% of the time it was after getting drunk. It is a sleepwalking situation either way and could be from drinking too much of anything before bed or not using the tiolet before bed. He could be very embarrassed if he has known about it or even if he isn’t fully aware he does it until now. Either way, he was not justified for implying you made it up. I think it’s important that he does take accountability and clean it up himself because he did it. Thankfully, it has been in spots easy to clean, but it could be a matter of time before it’s not (hoping it doesn’t happen, though).
There are many men who do this, unfortunately. The only thing I’ve found to help is trying to catch them before they do it, tell them that is not where the bathroom is, and gently guide them to the bathroom (ONLY if you feel comfortable bc they ARE asleep & they may swing and accidentally hit you not realizing who you are).
He’s either covertly drinking when you’re not looking or he’s sleepwalking. You could buy a cheap security camera and set it up so he can’t deny it. Better yet, get a new boyfriend.
Put a camera in the room so you can show him then make him clean it up
Put him in a diaper if he wants to act like this
Definitely take video of him doing it, bonus if.you can catch some of his logical explanations. He needs to face up to the reality
The bar is in hell
Youre attracted to this?
They make things for urinary urgency and incontinence. Like handheld urinals. Even a soda bottle would be better than a drawer.
My sister’s second husband used to do things like that when he had been drinking and he drank a lot the clean laundry basket when they didn’t have a washer and dryer waste paper baskets. I think the one that made my sister the most angry though was actually the day he walked out, open the wood stove and peed in there putting the fire out in Winter that pulled her cork.
You know it sounds like he’s sleepwalking and talking. I don’t know if he’s drinking or on any medication prescribed or non-prescribed, but I would strongly suggest getting him to a doctor for a full physical. Tell them politely that this has been happening and if it was just like in a waste paper basket or a container you had there specifically for it, I could understand it but to open dresser, drawers and pee in them. Yeah, there’s no way for that not to feel personal. I don’t blame you for thinking. You deserve something. And I don’t know set up a camera in your room and video it the next time he does it. And when he says he doesn’t remember it, ask him how he explains it happening. You know they make a lot of little like doorbell cameras in that and a lot of them can be hooked up very easily. But I think at this point you literally need video evidence and if he still maintains he didn’t do it. I’m going to suggest maybe you might not want to live this way the rest of your life
You’re worried about disrespecting him? This can’t be real.
He’s a controlling AH looking to make it clear to you that he can do whatever he wants to you and that he has no respect for you and you’re still going to stay.
Was he drunk?
My ex used to do that shit and it was fucking gross.
Drunk or sleepwalking. He should accept that he is really doing it though, whether he remembers it or not. I have done this a few times, only when very drunk though. It’s not a conscious decision to piss in the wrong places, it’s a blackout sleepwalking stupor.
I slept walked and did this once after a night of heavy drinking. Had a full conversation then just whipped my dick out in front of my girlfriend and started pissing 😭
Send him back to mom to wipe his pee up or send him to therapy to find out why he wakes up and pees in the house not the toilet
Gross That isn’t normal behavior
get a security camera so if it happens again you can at least show him. he probably is sleep walking which if why he doesn’t remember. i could understand wanting accountability if he was straight up peeing on purpose all the time not in the toilet. that’s not to say he shouldn’t help you clean up though he should be doing that already.
Dump this loser. There are much worelse things than being single.
See thats tricky.
On the one hand, I agree with taking responsibility for your actions.
But on the other hand, is sleepwalking (i assume thats what he’s doing) your actions?
I feel like the questions here is “are you responsible for actions you take unconsciously?”
You’ve got to be F-ing kidding me? If I were you that would be the end of him PERIOD! How are you disrespecting him? Who knows that you are r/Advice on Reddit. Don’t be ridiculous.
He’s an alcoholic or has an alcohol problem. Seen too many of these guys is college. Not going to change until he’s off the hooch.
This is sleepwalking
Our bfs should be friends lol.
This is a sign is alcoholism. Have the conversation. Dont let it slide. And respect yourself.
Is he mad at you? Is he Drunk? And is his name Curtis?
Because if all 3 of those bells are ringing….my sister dated this guy and RUN
My brother has done this before- sleepwalking.
Probably a drunk
Possibly a sleep walker
Surely a child man
I dated a guy name Tristan that did this but it was usually when he was drunk and sleep walking
Personally, I could not be able to deal with this. If a cat did this in my house I would re home it. I think you should think about therapy to ask why you have been allowing this. There are six dollar urinals you can buy at walmart, thats what old people use at night…. Go live your life and let go of him.
Why do woman date red flags and then blame the bf all the time
Make. Him. Clean. It. Up.
Please have some respect for yourself and leave this man
Have a calm conversation and work together as much as possible. This is probably equally distressing for both of you. Empathy.
Fkn weird. Leave him.
Kick him out! That is not OK.
Even if it is a medical issue, he isn’t apologetic, he isn’t owning it, he isn’t cleaning up after himself and he isn’t seeking treatment. Kick him out!
Does he take any sleep meds? If I take Ambien, I will do ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING and not be aware (took hubby a couple times to realize that). Once, I drove someone to the grocery store. Was 100% asleep.
I had a cousin that would do that. Sleep walking
You dump him. Same boyfriend that just got out of jail and spends all his time on your switch and on his phone…
He does whatever he wants to because he can obviously .
You need to grow up and dump him
I had a roommate in college that peed in the room and once in my shoes when he was drunk. No fun. If it’s alcohol related you will want to evaluate if this is how you want to live. If it’s sleep walking I’m not sure what the solution is.
Girl leave him that’s fuckin disgusting
Why are you the one to clean it up? I’m so confused. He isn’t a pet, he’s an actual human. You don’t want to disrespect HIM???
He is drunk or abusing drugs
After the first time my boyfriend did this (sleep peeing in my bedroom), I got a clue and jumped up and shook him awake. He would sleep walk when he drank too much. It only happened a couple of times, thankfully.
He’s sleepwalking. I have a friend he used to do the exact same thing. Usually after he had been drinking though.
He’s probably sleepwalking. Some people genuinely do this.
But nothing will change unless he acknowledges his problem.
My head goes to sleep walking or something seriously wrong like a brain illness or brain tumor 😢 hopefully he’s just being an asshole in which case the easy solution would be to breakup…
I see that you didn’t consider sleepwalking. So that means you literally thought he was just pissing in dressers because he felt like it, and were still considering staying with him regardless.
I had a friend that drank a lot and did this.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
My ex did it because he was an Alcoholic. Also wet the bed often. He was gross
My ex used to piss on the floor or dresser when he was drunk. He’s an alcoholic.
Is he 5yrs old?
Bro he PEED in YOUR DRESSER. He’s disrespecting you
You need to wake up & think about do you want to stay with this person rest of your life who doesn’t take accountability. YOU NEED TO LET GO HIM GET NEW BOY FRIENDS.
Film him next time
Is he drinking before he does this?
OP, if you don’t know how to help yourself, no one else can help you either. If ANY human pisses in my house someplace that’s not a toilet, they’re getting kicked out and blocked. Unless you’re just as gross as him, or the post is fake?
Is he drunk? My bff’s ex used to pee in random places when she was wasted.
You have to lay down the law. Next time, record him doing it. Stop letting him stay over at your place.
Honestly, just replace this user. Even a fucking dog knows not to piss in your dresser. You can do better.
Does he take ambian? Because this is classic ambien side effect.
I did this after a late night at the bar. I was sleep walking drunk pissed in this chicks hamper.. embarrassing as hell I’d only slept with her like 2 times at that point. I didn’t remember doing it she told me the next morning. Not my finest moment.
Sleep walking
Sorry you’re dating a drug addict. Try to get clean
He has trama.needs to deal with it.
He’s not sleepwalking? In which case he answers but in reality he’s sleeping and he won’t remember anything
Get rid of this unhouse-broken asshole. There are millions of dogs that won’t pee inside your house.
What the fuck did I just read?
Love conquers all including someone pissing on your shit. Raise the bar for goodness sake
Sonambulism?
Dump him. He’s nuts.
Why are you still with this jerk? Love yourself enough to realize you deserve better than a not house broken liar.
Why are YOU cleaning up what HE did?
He should probably stop drinking so much
He’s sleep walking. That and pissing always happen they never remember. Even i did it as a kid.
My ex did this a few times. He was sleepwalking and apparently wet the bed a lot as a child. He didn’t believe me at first bc I think he was shocked. He then felt terrible and made sure he disinfected where he peed. The way he handled it was mature and I made a point for him to not be embarrassed. I’m more concerned with your mans reaction than his action.
It’s sleepwalking. My boyfriend had to redirect me many times to toilet because I just wanted to pee in a cats litter 🫠
Either break up with him or make him clean it up himself? I can’t believe anyone would touch another humans urine mess when they aren’t that humans mother or caretaker. You need to have some self respect and stand up for yourself.
I think he is most likely sleepwalking. Try filming it and then ask him about it. If he still denies it then yeah he’s either sleep walking or a maniac.
This is a deal breaker – not because of the action but because of the lack of accountability & the lack of contribution to the household
Oh my god here’s how you navigate it, you navigate him out the fucking door and tell him to never talk to you again
Like others have said on here, it’s probably either sleepwalking or alcoholism. I understand sleepwalking. I wouldn’t remember a thing. I even had relatives say they had full-on conversations with me. So it’s hard to judge in the moment. Definitely film him. That way, there’s no excuses. He can use that to take to a doctor. And if he is not sleepwalking, but rather alcoholism or a kink, you can use the footage to set an ultimatum: clean up your act or I blast this to family and friends.
Take accountability? How bout gtfo and never come back?
If he has a serious issue he needs something right next to bed that he can seal up to avoid smelling it. Cat litter container that has the twist top on it? Then dump it into the toilet the next day.
Is this the same guy you were with a year ago?
Whether it is or not, you can do a lot better.
Rule outs: 1) medication or substance abuse: is he drinking or on anything when this occurs? 2) secondary nocturnal enuresis and/or sleepwalking. Hx of nocturnal enuresis as a child? If there really is no memory of the act, this may require medical attention. Start with his PCP who may recommend working with a psychotherapist.
At the minimum, he owes you the respect of taking responsibility for his actions, conscious or not. Whatever that looks like needs to be worked out between you. I would suggest he offer to do the laundry, which sounds fair to me, but that is between you two.
He’s not a dog. A dog can be trained. This guy should be rehomed.