My boyfriend isn’t very thoughtful. Can I expect him to change?

I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over 1.5 years now. For the first year of our relationship he do all the things: randomly buy me small things that he knew I’d appreciate (like flowers or treats), plan thoughtful dates, prioritize our time together, and support me through tougher times — things that I had mentioned I value and need in a relationship. We recently moved in together. Maybe a bit early for some, but it was convenient and we were spending almost every waking moment together anyway (plus traveling between our homes took up hours of our days).

After a couple of months, it feels like he’s a different person.

I already knew that he didn’t keep a neat home the way I prefer, but I didn’t realize it’d be so bad — no laundry gets done unless I do it, dishes stay in the sink despite having a dishwasher (I’ve purposefully let them stack to see how long it’d take for him to be bothered and… he never was), clothes litter our floors, all food is left out unless I grab it and throw it out or put the dishes in the sink (sometimes he stays up later than me and food will be left out overnight, which, other than being nasty, is problematic because I have a pet that will eat it), etc etc. Whatever housework you can think of, I’m the only one who remotely bothers with it. He also doesn’t plan dates and doesn’t get me flowers or anything unless I bring it up, which makes me feel like I’m nagging and forcing something. Recently a very close family member of mine died and it felt like a normal day everyday until he had to leave for a business trip. That week was the first time since the death that I felt free to mourn in the house. He typically works first thing in the morning to late at night. He stays at the office so I don’t see him much. Up until recently (after a convo we had, more on that later), the first words out of his mouth upon arriving home were “what’s for dinner?” When we sit to eat or relax and hangout, he’s either on the phone or barely listening to me. Just enough to interject with his own topic (more often than not work related). Gosh, I could keep going but this is already pretty long. I hope you get the gist.

Anyway, we had a convo about this a few weeks ago. He agreed that he hasn’t been attentive, thoughtful, or helpful the last few months and promised he would make a real effort to do “better” for me because he wants me to feel as loved as he does love me(his words). The thing is, it’s been a couple weeks and, while he’s been slightly better with some things around the house, it’s only if I explicitly point it out or ask for it to get done. He has yet to plan a date on his own and he hasn’t made much effort in the romance department (other than physical intimacy and saying he loves me a bunch — all parts of his love language and not mine, despite me asking him to consider my love language).

I want to rip my hair out. I know the stuff above doesn’t sound great, but I do love him outside of all of this. We click in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else and I find it hard to imagine my life without him. Am I worrying too early after our talk, or is this behavior I shouldn’t expect to change?

TLDR; my boyfriend stopped putting effort into our relationship after we moved in together, I’ve realized he really isn’t interested in taking care of himself or his surroundings (very important to me), he says he’ll change, but I’m getting nervous he won’t and need your advice on whether or not I should break up with him.