Hi, I (24F) need some advice. My boyfriend (26M) and I have been living together for a year now. It’s been a mix of ups and downs, and while we’ve worked through most issues, there’s still one thing that really upsets me.
It’s like he can only realize he did something wrong a day later. And even then, the next day he doesn’t seem to understand why I’m upset — even when I communicate calmly and clearly.
For example, yesterday we agreed on a time to hang out. I have no problem with him gaming — not at all — but if we set a time, I expect him to stick to it. He didn’t want to tell his friends he needed to go, which I found disappointing. I often cut things short for him if he asks me to, but with me it’s always “give me 2 more minutes” or “5 more minutes,” while with his friends he can drop everything right away and be on time for them.
I talk to him about this a lot, but nothing seems to change. I’m honestly out of ideas. Does anyone have tips or advice on how to handle this?
Comments
Hey, gotcha! This definitely sucks, no doubt. Seems like he’s takin’ ya for granted tbh. U’ve tried communicating clearly, it’s not on u anymore. It’s on him to meet ya halfway. Sure, games are fun but sticking to commitments is just as important. U ain’t asking much. Maybe lay it down hard one time – like, no BS, ya know? If he ain’t gonna respect ur time, he can’t just expect u to respect his. Stand ur ground, sis!💪🏽 Remember u deserve someone who prioritizes you as much as you prioritize them. 👏🏽 And hey, if he can’t sort his crap out, maybe it’s time to consider if he truly is the right one? Just a thought, stay strong! 💖💯
He’s not ignoring you, he’s just not wired to prioritize you the same way. That sucks, but it’s reality. You can either accept that or call it out seriously, because “talking” clearly isn’t cutting it. Set boundaries, if he can’t respect plans, maybe you stop making them so easily. Sometimes people only learn when consequences hit.
He only seems to be available when it’s convenient for him, not when it’s important for you.
Clearly he lacks respect for you at this point and doesn’t care what happens. Just leave him
That sounds really hurtful and you deserve to feel valued.
Saying how it makes you feel unimportant when he does not follow through might help. If he does not change then that is a red flag
Honestly girl, seems like the BF needs to sort his priorities. You gotta let him know that he can’t treat his S/O like a side quest while his mates are the main storyline. Not cool. Tell him to respect ya time and effort, else it’s prob not worth it. Relationships are a two-way street after all. Stand firm, you got this! 👌💪🏼💯
Yeah find a new boyfriend. This one ached his expiration date. Seriously I couldn’t date a guy who was soooooper into anything like sports or couch sports. lol. I dealt with that once and never again.
Yo, I totally get where ur comin from. Sounds like dude needs a priority check. U’ve communicated ur needs, and if he ain’t getting it, it’s on him, not u. It’s bs u getting put on the backburner while he’s hustling for his gaming buds. Stand ur ground, sis! You ain’t a side quest, babe, you’re the main plot of his social RPG. If he can’t see that, maybe it’s time for a game over. We got ur back tho, keep us posted! 😤👊💯
You should break up with him. If you communicated multiple times about the same thing, then he doesn’t care. Men aren’t hard! They will show you every time. There’s a guy out there they wouldn’t have to explain this to multiple times, so go find him. Also, if this is an issue now, it will be a bigger issue later if you decide to get more serious.