Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months throughout this time and before we were together he hasn’t been very affectionate/showed his desire for me in the way that he doesn’t really touch me much or compliment me. He perused me for ages before we got together as he took months to made a move that crossed the line into things being properly romantic, even a kiss because he was nervous. I am more experienced romantically than him and so I thought this may be a further reason which I defo understand.
I’ve become more insecure in this recently as girls have been openly flirting with him/ touching him, sending him flirty snaps or showing interest in him and he hasn’t been rejecting this attention, he’ll continue to hold conversation or snap back a dry snap. I spoke to him and said that he was encouraging it and that he shouldn’t make girls feel comfortable being like that with him bc he’s with me but he said he’s being polite/ doesn’t want to make things awkward however I think it’s too much and is making me more upset due to the lack of validation he gives me.
Recently his friend told this girl that my boyfriend fancied her as a ‘joke’ but she showed interest back. She snapped him while I was with him and he had an awkward reaction deleting the notification and saying how weird she was. I asked him about it a few days later and he told me he had her added from before we were together and that he snapped back a photo of his friend ‘bc she knows him’ i said there was no need to snap her back when clearly she was interested, but left it there. He since has been invited to her birthday party which is joint with his friends girlfriend and he went tonight.
The party’s quite far from where we both live and he only knows his friend and his friends girlfriend and this random girl from what I know. So I feel it’s strange that he’s gone, didn’t ask for me to come, and hasn’t used the easy excuse of exams we’re both doing right now to not go. He said he’s going for a little bit to get to know his friends new girlfriend better and make her feel welcome but he hasn’t driven there like he was planning to and has gotten the train I’m guessing so he can drink.
How should I approach this because I don’t want to be controlling or cause confrontation but I feel disrespected
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It sounds like his feet aren’t all the way in the relationship, especially if he hasn’t been giving you affection in those ways while actually entertaining people flirting with him. I’d set a boundary that it has to stop or you’re going to walk.
I wouldn’t put up with that if I was dating someone and they were engaging in that kind of behavior, OP. You can find someone who is going to make you feel fulfilled with your desires who isn’t going to entertain other women.
The party thing feels like a massive red flag, if I were you I’d be a bit paranoid he’s cheating but that’s me.
well for starters you’re def not overreacting. Wanting respect and boundaries is totally fair and if he’s not meeting those needs, it’s okay to rethink the relationship too. I would say a confrontation is more important than just keeping this to yourself because it’ll be something that’ll keep bothering you for the entirety of the relationship and if he really cares about the relationship he will compromise but make sure you listen to his feeling as well.
I’d leave he’s playing you and then gaslighting you when you question things. It will only get worse. Your young trust me you will find one that matches your energy don’t waste it on him.
Why are you staying with someone who doesn’t show you love and respect?
He already disrespected you and emotionally is in “cheater” territory. Drop him.
It’s good to have competition and outside threats to his attention. Keeps you on your toes, going to the gym and putting away those donuts.
Men are like this because women accept it. They are comfortable enough to not worry about damaging a relationship they are clearly showing they do not value. Women wake up. While you are settling for less and stressed out for it, YOU are not available for the good guys who are prepared for a mature relationship. When as a whole need to raise the bar. Keep investing in yourself to become a better catch and drop this man child
That man is for the streets. Break up with him.
I’ve learned that men that need attention will never be faithful. The attention feeds their insecurities and instead of dealing with it, they would rather risk it all.
He doesn’t respect your boundaries so there’s no reason to stay. Break up with him sis. There are more men out there. No need to deal with this.
That man is for the streets. Break up with him.
I’ve learned that men that need attention will never be faithful. The attention feeds their insecurities and instead of dealing with it, they would rather risk it all.
He doesn’t respect your boundaries so there’s no reason to stay. Break up with him sis. There are more men out there. No need to deal with this.
INFO: did your bf let her know he is in a relationship and was still invited to her birthday party?
NOR but hoping you two don’t live together. If so, if the place is in your name tell him to leave or you leave if it’s in his. The reason you feel disrespected is because his actions have disrespect and cheating written all over. Sorry! Lots of guys are like your BF. Too many imo. But there are guys out there who aren’t like him. Find one of those. Good luck!