I (22F) and my bf (24M) have been dating for a year and a few months now. He’s the sweetest guy and makes me laugh and he’s got most of the qualities i look for in a man. but there’s just one thing and it’s that sometimes i feel like he doesn’t know me on a deeper level, and just doesn’t ask me things in general. When we hang out, i’m mostly doing all the talking and mostly making all the plans. And of course i have brought it up and asked him about it and his answers usually entails “i just don’t have much to talk about” “i don’t really have anything to ask” which makes me feel like he isn’t interested in me as much as i am interested in him, so it definitely feels shitty although he’s always telling me how much he loves me and he can’t wait for us to get married.
Another thing that bothers me is that sometimes he makes me feel like i’m his mother. I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes when we argue and i tell him why i’m upset i feel like i’m talking to my kid not my bf because of how his responses sound. And i really hate that i have to tell him things like “i wish you asked about me more” instead of him just doing it without me asking. it makes me feel pathetic. I’m just scared that i’m holding on for no reason, and that im staying with him for his potential. so my question is, how do i talk to him about it? or is it pointless?
TL;DR;: My bf loves me but i still feel like he’s just not interest in me, how do i talk to him about it?
Comments
I think a lot of guys tend to live in the moment and don’t think to ask these questions. It doesn’t mean you’re boring, you just have different communication styles and he is happy just existing in the moment with you.
You have talked to him about it but you just didn’t get an answer you liked. It sounds like he doesn’t have a lot of emotional intelligence and that’s ok, but it sounds like you want a different kind of partner.
Staying with someone because you are hoping that one day, miraculously, they’ll change is a recipe for a lifetime of sorrow. It’s impossible to tell if he’s just quiet or genuinely isn’t interested in you as a person, but it kind of doesn’t matter. Either way ur not getting the level if engagement you need to feel truly connected. If you’re feeling pathetic now, just consider how much worse it will feel after ur married and years have gone by.