I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (19M) for over a year. Music has always been my safe space I really used it to cope when I had no friends and before I knew him. I listen to a wide range, in the beginning mostly goth and hardcore, techno music but also alot of indie music
Early in the relationship, he found my playlist and went off, saying it was “demonic,” that it causes my depression and anxiety and that it’s weakening my connection to God. He also said that I’m poisoning myself and that he’s disappointed in me for all of it and so I stopped listening to most of it to keep the peace.
Fast forward to now, I lied and showed him a watered-down playlist to avoid a fight I had artist Like videoclub, frank sinatra, Mac Demarco and more I made sure the songs were not terrible I hand picked them all to be certain but it still made him furious. I had to go over each song and explain what it means to me and why I listen to it and when I couldn’t give him a clear enough answer he’d get mad because how can I listen to music without it meaning anything.. He said the songs were about sad love and are for single people and got really mad that I listen to that since me and him are dating.. and that the music is weakening my connection to God. He claims demons will come for me because of it. He also dismisses how much music means to me, saying it’s a stupid reason
Now I feel guilty just listening to what I love. I tried switching to stuff he likes, but I hate it. I’m lost what should I do?
(I forgot to add but we are Catholics )
Comments
You should break up with your crazy boyfriend
You need to leave him. This is weird overly religious toxic behavior. He seems controlling. Your music does not weaken your relationship with god. What an absurd thing to say.
It’s not likely, but it is possible. I’d start some solo Ouija board communication with the other side to gather support from the spirit world to fend off any potential violent attacks.
Run away from this guy. Fast and now.
As someone who has a deep and extremely personal/sensitive connection to music. Dump him.
Right now you two do not share a healthy relationship. You’re lying about music, just to avoid a fight, and he’s ignoring your opinions, citing religious reasons to trump your choices.
If you can’t come to a clear acceptance and appreciation for each other’s differences, then I don’t see an easy path forward in this relationship for either of you.
You break up with your weird culty boyfriend
Your music, your choice. If he can’t respect the soundtrack of your life, maybe he’s not the co-star you need.
Say the Rosary a few times and you’re good to go.
This guy is going to try to control every facet of your life if you give him the opportunity.
This isn’t the right place to ask this question; this subreddit is extremely secular and will only mock anything that has to do with religion. Ask your priest these questions but I’d recommend staying away from music that vilifies God like heavy metal and rap. Music should give you peace and quiet in your soul. You shouldn’t listen to what he does but find your own niche listening to music and growing your faith simultaneously.
This isn’t just a red flag, it’s a whole bunch of bright red tents
Part of being in a healthy relationship is feeling safe to show your authentic self. He sounds super judgmental and a bit oppressive. Worse, you are both very young, so I don’t see things improving over time without counseling. You have a tough choice to make, but make no mistake: Music choice is only the beginning.