I had a fight with my boyfriend last night and at the end he shamed me for my bodycount. We were talking about raising kids and how it’s hypocritical if you teach your kids not to hit or be abusive against other people and then you get into fights that could be avoided at a bar etc. He then said that why do you have to tell your kids everything and that it would be the same as me telling my kids that i had for example a bodycount of 6… I was really taken a back by this… How is he comparing fighting and being abusive to having sex when you’re single. Then he started to talk about how it bothers him that i have slept with other men before our relationship and continued to compare the fighting and the bodycount… I am just at a loss for words. Idk what to do and i’m thinking if i’m over reacting by being so sad about this… There were other thing he said about the bodycount that were super hurtful but i can’t remember them, i think my brain is blocking me from remembering
Comments
You leave he is just going to continue to bring up a body count every fight when it doesn’t even matter who you’ve slept with in the past
The two aren’t comparable.
You’re not going to tell a toddler about sex because it’s a non issue, not hitting/biting/scratching is an early lesson in life.
You can’t change what happened with others before him. It’s ridiculous that he shamed you for your previous encounters. Don’t let his insecurities make you feel shameful.
Your bf is terrible, an idiot, or both. You should not be raising kids with someone like this please leave
Nothing about this sounds even remotely healthy.
He sounds psychotic.
I’m sorry to say that but that man resents you. Do you really want to be with someone who has those values?
Run girl
That is crazy.
He has issues and he will continue to take them out on you and they will get worse.
For starters… body count does NOT matter. 6 isn’t even bad?
You’re meant to teach little kids not to hit. Sex shouldn’t even be a conversation for little kids until later on in life.
Please, leave. While you still can.
Before you are trapped with a baby, or before he seriously hurts you.
well shit if 6 is bad then i’m screwed
Yeah I have had more then six. Does it matter? No. should it? No. So what’s the difference if you had a body count of 50 and you slept with the same person for 8 years. I don’t see a difference at all.
ask him whether you were his first. while he’s trying to explain why that’s different, delete, block and kiss his ass goodbye.
Man, so he didn’t know how to bring up the fact he has a problem with your body count or that you were with other people before him. He had to combine it with fighting and raising children. I don’t know about you but this has got to be the stupidest way to approach the topic. If you stay it will get worse. He will keep shaming you. I say walk and block. No reason to prolong the inevitable. He’s not the one.
Not Overacting. Just. So. Disgusting. He wants a virgin?? bc he wants to feel special like he’s worth being someone’s first time most likely bc those comments definitely read that way.. Leave. Physical violence/abuse is not comparable to bachelor sex????? Like????? Seemed he thought you were naming off a list of things you don’t like about him, not about the kids role model thing, so he in turn did the same. He seems to want to feel special and if that isnt happening, he’s very child-like and retaliates. Do not reproduce with man-children, unless you want to be a mom to him AND your kids.
Break up with him. There’s no other option. Unless you want to be berated the rest of your life.
1 – no body count should matter, it’s actually not his business no matter how high it is
2 – it’s 2025, 6 is nothing
3 – do NOT stay with or have kids with this insecure man child
4 – is this man violent currently? i think you can teach children not to hit even if you have been in physical fights in the past, but if this man is currently using his hands violently to attempt to solve problems, you may actually be in danger and you need to find a safe way out of this situation.
He shouldn’t be your BF anymore. He shamed you. Done.
6! 6?!?! Six is your body count and he thinks that’s wild??? Shaming you for 6?!?!?!
Say something like this to him “look, you can keep focusing on my low body count of 6 and lose me, or you can focus on being my last body. It’s up to you, but I will no longer put up with being shamed for living my life as a single woman. If you’re so bothered by the fact i slept with 5 people before you, then you are more than welcome to leave this relationship. You dating life will be rough since you think 6 is some outrageous number, but that won’t be my concern. Or you can grow up and not focus on stupid things like that, and purposely try to shame and make me feel bad about myself. I need a partner, not someone to judge me.”
Then he will either learn the hard way, or he will grow up and worry about things that actually matter.
Not that it matters but was the number really 6?
Was this guy a virgin before u met? Only way he may have ~a sliver~ of ground to stand on on being upset about that
Sleeping with 6 people is not a high body count full stop. Break up with this deranged man-child. He obviously is one of those guys that will sleep with women with experience but will only date and marry a woman who is a virgin
Eww parents don’t share their body count with kids. Ditch this creep. You can’t change your past and he will continue to bring it up
he’s insecure
I would just leave the guy like all the other comments said he’s gonna keep bringing it up and shaming you for something very normal. 6 is pretty damn average for most people
Do not have kids with this guy. Please
He’s mad that you slept with people before you knew he existed? I’m sorry, does he just assume you exist to be his partner?
That’s some baby brain shit. I wouldn’t bother with a guy that’s fixated on that. He will only get more controlling and restrictive. If you have guy friends he might start shaming you for that too.
Do not have a kid with this baby brain idiot.
Most emotionally healthy people don’t care or think about “body count”. Why would I be mad my partner had a life before meeting me? Why would my partner be mad I cared about others before I knew they existed?
It’s absurd!
Just move on because he WILL NEVER accept that you had a past before him.
Once they show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!!
you’re not overreacting—your brain’s trying to protect you from internalizing his shame as your own
he didn’t just compare two unrelated things
he exposed how he actually sees you: not as an equal, but as someone to judge
and that “I’m bothered by your past” energy? classic insecurity dressed up as morality
here’s the truth:
you’re sad because someone you trusted just threw a quiet grenade at your self-worth
don’t downplay it—listen to it
Sounds like you’re dealing with a man child.
over reacting? you think your over reacting?
you are 6ft down under reacting & need to leave that guy. I don’t care if he’s the sweetest kinda golden retriever boyfriend out there.
he showed you what he really thinks & it’s clear that he does not respect you.
People can have sexual criteria. If that guy was so obsessed with body count, he should have found a virgin. Also, saying “ahhh it’s 2025, 6 body count is too low” is an invitation to immorality. Sexual intercourse outside marriage is not only sinful, but also corrupts society.
That stupid bloke should have either accepted you as you are, or not been with you in the first place.
Immediate dumping. Don’t waste your time with this loser.