I don’t even know where to put this, but I’ve been carrying this around and it’s really starting to mess with how I see myself.
My boyfriend never posts me. I’m not on his Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, nothing. It’s like I don’t exist publicly in his life. Meanwhile, he does share pictures of me—but only to his football group chat with a bunch of guys. And it’s not like cute photos of us. It’s ones where my chest is showing—tank tops, low cut dresses, or just outfits where my boobs are noticeable. Not my face. Just my body.
It makes me feel so objectified, like that’s the only thing he values about me. He’ll share those pictures but never a full photo of me. I feel like I’m just something to show off sexually, not someone he’s proud to be with.
What really stings is that before me, he was engaged—and he used to post her all the time. Full couple photos, her face, them together. And now I’m over here, invisible unless it’s a cropped photo of my chest.
I know comparison is toxic, but it’s hard not to internalize it. I keep thinking, what does she have that I don’t? Why wasn’t he ashamed of her? Why am I the secret?
It’s starting to make me feel so, so ugly. Like maybe I’m not pretty enough, or lovable enough, or worth being shown off. I just want to feel chosen in a real way—not sexualized behind closed doors.
I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive or if this is genuinely messed up. I just needed to get it off my chest.
Comments
You’re not being too sensitive and he’s not going to change. You’re not ugly but he’s making you feel that way. He’s not the man for you
>It makes me feel so objectified, like that’s the only thing he values about me.
And yet here you are, still dating him.
You don’t need to date someone who treats you poorly.
>I just want to feel chosen in a real way—not sexualized behind closed doors.
Thats wonderful. I wish that for you too. Its not going to be with this guy, which means you have a decision to make.
Honestly if he cared about you and loved you and felt like you were his special person he wouldn’t dare to share your chest to all his friends he obviously only thinks of you as someone to fuck and show off sexually. I don’t say this to hurt your feelings but I’d want the brutal truth. Honestly if I were you I’d break up without explanation ( he would already know why it’s obvious) block him and move on with my life. You 100% deserve better!
If a guy shares photos of your body with other people, that guy doesn’t love you. I don’t know why you didn’t leave him the first time he did that… 👁️👄👁️ But then again I don’t understand a lot of stuff people do.
Dump him he doesn’t respect you
The reason you feel objectified is because he’s treating you like an object. The reason you think he only values your chest is because your chest is the only thing he values.
It ain’t complicated. Throw it out.
He’s literally treating you like a pair of tits to show off only to his friends via text. Why the fuck are you still with him? You know you can actually find someone who gasp LIKES YOU?
How long have you been together?? You don’t say — so is he not posting you because it’s new and he doesn’t want to post too soon in case it doesn’t last? Breakups are shitty but they are made even shittier by having to tell everyone you’ve broken up with someone, and having to do it publicly on the internet. I don’t even have my relationship status on FB and I’m married 😂 he may have posted his ex because they were ENGAGED, which feels more permanent and less likely for them to break up and or they’d been together longer.
That said, it’s gross he shares your boobs to objectify you to the lads without your permission — that in itself is a red flag and you should not stand for it. If I were you I’d delete all those photos off his phone and not send more ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Also, your partner should not be making you feel this way — you need to talk to him about it and if he doesn’t change then I would move on, he seems disrespectful and like it’s damaging to your self esteem and you deserve better.
This sounds like a made up story, cause that’s outrageous
Umm, no. You need to get HIM off your chest and out of your life. You deserve so much better than that. What he’s doing is disgusting and gross. He and his friends are not safe to be around, at all. He doesn’t care about you. That’s obvious. If he did you’d be plastered all over his social media. Please stay safe!!!
RUN
We’ll be together 2 years in September. He was engaged to the person. But even before that, he posted her all the time (even on national women’s day). I will add it’s not like he’s posting/sharing photos of me constantly that are of just my chest, it’s happened like 2-3 times…
I work in PR and social media so I guess I’ve always liked sharing my life. He said he wants his more “reserved” but all his socials are public…
I don’t know why this is bothering me all of a sudden, he probably shared this photo MONTHS ago, but the constant feeling that he always looks and wants my boobs, it feels like my boobs are separate from ME. Like love me for me, not just my boobs and body
This is sadly feel is the embodiment of if he wanted to he would.
My husband and I started dating in earlier 2019, and during that time when I moved in he let me know he wasn’t a big poster on social media- and at the time I was.
And he wasn’t lying, for years he didn’t post me or anything about me (he did tag me in stuff though with heart emojis) and then one day out of the blue he decided that he wanted to post a photo, and did. Even to this day he posts photos of us but its usually every few months and sometimes even longer.
Point is- if you haven’t had a conversation with him about this you should, and base your moves on what is being said and how it makes you feel. Some people aren’t into posting until they are 100% certain, and from the sounds of it he was engaged- which could lead to reservations about posting someone else again potentially to have to relive the same issue.
Did you communicate with him?
His reason for not posting online could be completely separate issue. I have seen this before, which is why I bring it up. The bf showing friends cute pics of gfs body is just what many do sadly.
He doesn’t respect you and it sounds like your just a sex object to him
He’s using you
Your bf sucks
Silver linings, at least you know you have a killer rack
So, I have to ask, why are you saying a guy that makes you feel like this?
He doesn’t respect you care about you. He IS objectifying you very blatantly and obviously. The reason you’re not on his socials is because he doesn’t want you there. You’re a ride for him, nothing more. He is not the one for you and you deserve so much better. Fuck this guy off and go find your husband.
You know you could bring this up to him. Could be a chance he’s unaware that he’s making you feel this way. He probably really likes that part of you. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Men don’t think that deep, that’s the stuff you need to tell us.
OP you have all the right in the world to feel bad and objectified. That’s messed up.
I wouldn’t read too much into not posting in socials though. I use to post my first ex all the time but realised I prefer to keep that part of my life private; why do people need to know what I’m doing or what I’m up to. I just feel like the jealousy of some would affect my vibe
Sharing photos of your boobs though… wtf… he shouldn’t share photos of you like that, even if that’s his favorite part of you. He is probably very childish and looking for validation. Find someone who respects you, I have seen your other posts and you deserve much more
Please leave this situationship you’re in. THAT is a man with 0 respecy for you!
You’re feeling objectived because you’re being objectived.
I wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt . . . But thats just not normal behavior, even if you were incredibly well endowed and eye catching, sharing cropped up photos of you is wild . . .
You could say he is more reserved since his engagement didn’t work out but bro this behavior is still not normal.
You need someone who actually values and respects you, maybe he does idk its just the group chat thing is truly off-putting.
Something else is you need to have a bit more mental fortitude, not everything is a personal attack or a jab at your insecurities, and even if it is you need to be confident enough in yourself to dismiss them. Work on yourself, tangible things you can look back upon and develop reliable effort you can be proud and confident about.
Hopefully the glow up also includes an actual normal bf
I would like to elaborate. It’s not like he’s shared photos of me topless, it’s like workout tanks or something like that. And this has happened 2-4 times
Girl comparison isn’t toxic if he treated his ex like a partner and you like a sex object. You don’t have to accept this treatment
You are not gonna like this, but honey, you need to dump him, like yesterday,
Eww he shares those pictures of you and just your body not your face? Well then it’s very obvious he has zero respect. The whole thing is nasty and honestly it’s damaging to your self esteem.
Sharing your pictures is disrespectful, why does he want these guys to ogle you? It’s very odd and sounds like he’s not taking this seriously as a relationship at all. You’re not ugly, what this is – he is with you for sex only and he wants his friends to be envious that he is with you (for your body). Don’t compare yourself with his ex but remember that he himself is a nasty piece of work. Please break it off with him, please. You’ll see it clearly when you’re out of this mess and you’ll realise he doesn’t deserve a second longer of your thoughts or time.
There is zero reason as to why you should remain in this relationship, it’s hugely toxic and insulting.
Leave. Holy shit