TL;DR My boyfriend (29) and me (25) have been together for almost 2 years, living together in rented apartment for 1,5 years. He doesn’t seems to be planning proposal in near future, based on what he is saying – „not right time, i have uni to finish, he is busy with work…“ yes, we do argue quite often, but about stupid things, nothing important – i feel due to completely different families we came from, we don’t know how to communicate About problems. So, recently my mum decided to give me a a huge land in my home town (which i am selling currently, since i am living in different country), so i was planning to buy land with house (the money from the land are going to be more than enough, without additional mortgage needed), so we could start family earlier, first i understood he wants me to transfer him half of this property after marriage, but I just found out HE EXPECTS ME TO DO IT RIGHT AWAY – when we are not even engaged, no kids.. when i told him i am not secure, he said „i am so desperate for begging him to propose to me“… apart from that, he also sold his car and is using mine which i got from my parents, (yes it’s true I suggested him that, saying that he could use this money for down payment to take a mortgage for apartment, but he didn’t do it, till now he did not purchase apartment) and we ALWAYS do 50/50 on all bils/rents. never expected him to say this. He always used to be so nice to me, caring, loving, he actually is also hard working, having 2 jobs.
What do you think about this Situation?
Comments
So he wants all the benefits that would come from being married to you without actually making a commitment toward you. What tf is he bringing to the table here?
I think he’s a bum who’s using you and you should move on without him.
He is a bottom of the barrel type of man…. toss in the trash ASAP.
I think you’re being used. Gurl, get the fuck out.
This man is a loser and will happily drag you down with him.
Do not buy him anything. If you buy property, it should be your name on the deed and your name on the mortgage. It sounds like he’d take you for everything you have.
I’d laugh in his face and dump him.
That wouldn’t be a no that would be a hell no. He wants the security of marriage but doesn’t want the commitment. I don’t think he should get any of the property.
Absolutely not, no no no no no, no. Also don’t transfer half of a pre-marital asset to him AFTER marriage unless he’s paying into the equity of the home. This is billboard sized 🚩. Also stop letting him use your car.
Why the heck should you be transferring him the money? It’s not his, it’s yours. What if you split up, does he get to take all of the money, ‘because you gave it to him? I think he needs to show some commitment to you, stop giving you excuses, and show he is there for the long haul. He also needs to put his hand in his pocket and put his share into buying this property, and not grab yours off of you. If you give him this money, and I was your mum I would not be happy with you. Think long and hard. Can you really trust him, because from what you have written he is just full of excuses? I don’t think you can, he just wants to grab what is yours. Don’t let him.
What a parasite, dump him because he’s just waiting for payday while you pay bills and do domestic labour.
Gross, don’t let your boyfriend stop you from meeting your husband.
That’s nice of him to volunteer your money. Please get rid of him.
Do you put this man’s name on any property you buy – he doesn’t want to marry you but wants to use?! This loser needs to go.
He wants half BEFORE MARRIAGE? That’s your clue that he has no intention of marrying you. He thinks he can manipulate you into giving him half. Once he owns half, he could do whatever he wants with his half, force you to sell and then toss you aside.
Don’t let him bully you into it. Find a better man.
No. Ditch the dude. He is out for himself without even considering you, your needs or putting in the $ or the work to be a property owner.
It’s your money and it’s your life. Keep it that way. People who love and respect you would never treat you poorly or behave which with such misplaced entitlement.
Absolutely not. Do not do this under any circumstances. Your boyfriend is a scumbag and a user, and he never plans to marry you.
Your mother gave you that land to secure YOUR future, not to fund the lifestyle of this worthless hobosexual. If he wants to own property, he can buy it with his own money.
Girl. You are in your PRIME! Your man is driving YOUR car trying to tell you what to do with YOUR money that coincidentally also involves him gaining half for NOTHING. Get this bum out of your life. Please head on over to the parenting subs and see your future if you stay and start that family with him; mostly worthless men that don’t help with house work or child care, border abusing their wives. Happens everyday…
Your english is great! But i’m a little unsure if i’m reading this right.
You are getting gifted property, which you will sell. You want to use the proceeds to buy property to live in, i assume, where you currently live.
Your boyfriend, who has explicitly told you he does NOT want to get married anytime soon, thinks you should give him half of what you get?
If i understand this right, then no. No way. In fact, i would be very leery of even marrying him at this point.
If I owned a house outright before marriage, I would still own a house outright after marriage, too.
If he wanted to buy a house with me so we were on the same footing in our main house, you’d better believe we would buy it 50/50, without the other house. I’d just rent that one out. I might share that money.
He sees you as a meal ticket, not a partner. Get a new guy who isn’t such a parasite.
He’s your boyfriend, not your husband. Protect yourself. If you want to buy a house, buy it – but in your name only. If he’s not matching your investment, he’s got no stake in claiming ownership of a home.
Here’s a possible future hypothetical:
You get the money from the sale. You buy the house and put the home in both of your names. He doesn’t want to get married. You do. You break up. He’s never given you a dollar towards the home, but now he owns half.
Here’s another:
You buy the home in your name only. You continue to date, he finally proposes and you get married. He’s paid rent to live in your home since you bought it. Now that you’re married, you amend the deed to add him. He decides he doesn’t want children and you do and you divorce. Now he owns half the house you paid for in full.
PROTECT YOUR ASS(ETS).
Move on dear. Please. I’m sorry.
NEVER buy land or a house or a car or business or anything major with a boyfriend/girlfriend as joint owner. Never cosign a loan for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Never do anything with a boyfriend/girlfriend that makes you legally liable for any part of a debt they are involved in.
I have $100 US currency that says if you put him on this property as part or full owner, your relationship ends within 2 years and he walks with the money. I’m that sure that he does NOT have your interests in mind. You are being used. Best to walk away and focus on yourself before finding a relationship with a person that is able to stand on their own.
Do not give him half ownership of that property. Not even if you get married the second you do he will take the money and run
Sounds like a gold digger guy
Leave him lol. He will never marry you, you do realise that right? This guy is just using you.
Stop wasting your time
L. O. Fucking. L. Girl dump him
He has shown you his true colours. Let this be a pivotal moment for you. A moment where you pivot away from this leech of a man. Leave him. He won’t propose to you. Won’t move forward with a future with you. But wants half of your windfall. Nope! Your gut feeling is correct. Listen to it. Leave him.
Not to be rude but I don’t think this man actually loves you. I’m pretty sure he’s using you.
Ewww I would be so embarrassed dating such a self interested guy like that
NO NO NO
DO NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING!!!!
Golddiggers come in all sizes, shapes, and genders. You need to let your bf know that he is not going to get half of your inheritance now or ever. If he leaves because of this you will know for sure that he only cares about what he can get, not about making you happy.
Never ever EVERRRRRRRR put yourself in that kind of financial loss with ANYONE much less a person who hasnt even committed to you. you can buy a place in your name for you and he can live in it and pay you rent but if your finances arent joint then dont you daaaaaare let him take advantage of you like that.
Even if you get married you better have a prenuptial agreement written up. Thats your money and your property.
Don’t do it. I put a partner on a townhouse I bought myself, with cash (just like you plan on doing) and while he didn’t go after everything he could have when things ended I still had to give him a large chunk of my savings even though he hadn’t contributed to the property financially in any way. To be honest I wouldn’t even put him on if married unless he’d actually paid for half of the initial purchase price.
DO NOT DO IT! – first off, you don’t transfer anything to your husband that you got before you guys got married. Second, you don’t do it without marriage license, period!! My cousin once dated a guy with whom she shared her bank account login when they were living together to which he was barely contributing. Turned out he was cheating on her with other women when he was going on his “business trips” using them for money too. Once he realized he can’t get anything more from her he cleared her bank account and left. It was a huuuuuge learning lesson for me. – I’m not saying your boyfriend is that guy but it is definitely sketchy for him to want YOU to commit to him by transferring half the property when HE won’t commit by proposing. He honestly does sound like he’s using you, I’m sorry. I know that these things can be tricky because you want to be able to build trust with each other and show commitment but I would never do this. Ever. My spouse gets what they are entitled to. – whatever we accumulated throughout marriage. And if he chooses the “ever after” with me, only then he gets whatever belongs to me – depending on who passes away first lol.
It sounds like you need a new BF. Him wanting you to put his name on your property before marriage is an obvious red flag, but fighting about stupid things and inability to communicate about problems are huge issues. Are you happy?