Hi all,
I am 25F and my boyfriend is 34M, we’ve been together for 2 and a half years. I found out that he went on a sx cam site when I wasn’t home. The site was pretty much was where you turn your camera on and mst*rbate with other people. I personally think this is completely disrespectful and a form of cheating. Just wondering how I should interpret this and what I should do going forward.
My boyfriend went on a s*x cam site while I wasn’t home
r/Advice
Comments
Its a common topic here, you aren’t alone, guys with their phones doing unethical things.
I’d let him know you found out which will trigger some form of guilt, but the truth is these naughty boys are doing it everywhere, when you’re not home, when they’re out etc.
There’s some addiction aspects at play.
Porn is one thing but cam girls feels more personal. Certainly a line that shouldn’t be crossed
I think you should do what you believe in, because it might not be others ideas but I think that doesn’t have to matter when you two are perfectly able minded adults who have separate lives.
BE CAREFUL though, explain first, perhaps he truly didn’t know what your boundaries where and its time to try and figure out whats okay and whats not!
You are totally valid in your emotions, express it to him, communicate, and do what feels right (wether that be setting new boundaries or even breaking up) don’t feel pressured by him or anyone else.
Sexting is cheating in my book. I mean, let’s say that, instead of this happening online, it happened at a party. Say you found out that he and a girl got naked and masturbated in front of each other, looking at each other but not touching each other at all. Would that be cheating? It’s the same behavior.
I worked as a cam girl for 6 years, it absolutely is cheating and disrespectful like you said. If I were you I’d break up with him, I say this because if porn isn’t enough, it’s likely he has some kind of addiction. Most of the men who I’d get paid by were not good men ( in my opinion). Only a handful of them were.
Most guys are perverts and we get bored with doing the same thing all the time. We look for new ways to experiment with our sexuality, and to us, it’s different than having an emotional connection. It’s strictly generally just sexual gratification, and we don’t feel like we’re cheating. I’m sure the majority of reddit will be disgusted with this behavior, but I question if many of them have ever even been in a relationship – no one is good enough for them.
You want real advice and not idiotic statements of ending a relationship? Talk to him calmly about it. Ask him and express your feelings. Nobody here can do that for you. I’m familiar with these sites and 99% just watch. It’s a voyeur activity not unlike watching porn. It clearly has different emotional elements, but nobody is cheating in these places unless they’re an idiot. It’s not what they’re for.
I’m sorry but this would have made my stomach DROP. So disrespectful. I would have kicked his ass out honestly. So disgusting, would make me puke.
You weren’t there what else was he to do? Coulda been worse!
Talk to him and set a hard boundary.
If he does it again I’d break it off.