We’ve been together for three years. We were sitting with our friends and I was gonna open up a picture. My phone was on charge so I just took his phone and he suddenly grabbed it from me. At first I thought he was being playful so I resisted but then he actually forced me to give it. I couldn’t understand what was happening so I just asked him what was he doing. He said his photos were “private” to him and I can’t just look at them. He said he has private photos with his family. I just didn’t say anything but I was shcoked so I just stayed quite. Mind you we were with our friends. He got offended and told me he should be the one that is mad since I tried to look into his phone. He had times he didn’t want me to go through his phone but this felt different. He just got really serious and defensive super quick. I don’t know. I don’t want to look into his phone or anything but this just feels weird. What should I do?
My boyfriend(23M) forcefully snatched his phone from me(22F).
r/Advice
Comments
>What should I do?
You should quit taking your boyfriend’s phone without asking first.
What kind of private photos with his family would he not want you to see? BS. This sounds wildly suspicious to me. Sounds like he DARVO’ed you, as well. It’s not like he caught you secretly snooping through his phone. I wouldn’t trust him after this. I would think he’s hiding something I wouldn’t like.
Know that he’s hiding something from you.
I get that there are privacy principles, and that since you’re not married, those are stronger boundaries than if you were married and shared finances, for example. But his reaction was instant and forceful. That’s not the reaction of someone who is just enforcing a principle. He is hiding something that applies to you.
Proceed with caution. Either break up, or pretend that nothing is wrong while you watch very carefully, and remember very carefully, and see if there are other signs of deception you may have missed.
Also, you only need enough “proof” that he’s deceptive to satisfy you. He will try to act like this is a court of law, where you have to have absolute proof he has done something wrong before you can break up or leave, if you live together. That’s not how any of this works. You’re not taking away something he has a right to, because he has no right to date you. You decide when a relationship isn’t working for you. “Being fair” to him isn’t a thing. If the relationship isn’t working for one person anymore, it’s over.
Now, it is sometimes possible to fix relationships, but that takes both people. You would have to be willing to stay with someone you don’t trust. He would have to be willing to be completely open with you, with his photos (private family photos???), with his location, with his social media activity, all of it. If he doesn’t want to do that, he has the right to refuse. And you have the right to leave.
You have the right to break up with him for the way he eats soup. You definitely have the right to break up with him for hiding things.
Talk to him about it and let him know its making you feel sketched out.. tell him, let’s clear the air and move past this
lol only one reason why any person in a relationship would react like that to their partner grabbing their phone.
The private peen measuring family party excuse is about as lame as it gets.
You need to decide can you live knowing he’s hiding stuff on his phone? If not take the hint cut your losses and move on because he has
He’s hiding something from you. Lies and deception have no place in a healthy relationship. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Chances are he won’t be honest about what it really is so you have to decide whether to be cool and go with it or not. It’s a difficult spot to be in. Sending you hugs.
People shouldn’t snoop or grab other people’s phones
Let me get this straight. You grabbed his phone, and can’t understand why he might not want you looking through it? Regardless of how long you’ve been together that doesn’t mean you get to invade his personal property. Next time just ask him first.
He’s hiding something and his response was him telling in himself. I’d tell him that he broke your trust and you’re seeing him differently for being so sneaky. Get tested because he’s likely cheating.
If you are going to lead a double life, it’s smarter to have a secret phone. Or at least learn to have hidden folders on your phone. What a dumbass.
It could just be that he has a bunch of porn on his phone he doesn’t want you to see.
Oh he’s cheating. There’s no personal family pictures I would ever have that reaction about with my partner potentially seeing 🙃 when someone has a strong negative reaction like this 99.9% of the time they are either cheating or trying to cheat, so same thing. I’d put every penny and valuable I have on that. I’m sorry, I hope you find what you need in order to leave him.
Did you say exboyfriend?
It’s definitely not because he didn’t want you to see a ring he is buying fir you.
Maybe he took a picture of a pimple on his butt and didn’t want you to see it, who knows.
He’s cheating
Approach him humbly and admit that you didn’t mean to invade his privacy and create an awkward sitch but now you’re concerned and would like to discuss/clear the air. His body language will say it all. Has he ever cheated before (on others)?
He is gaslighting the f out of you babe. He clearly has something he is hiding. Red flag all over that.
My partner knows my password. No trust means you might be just a placeholder to him. Until he finds something else
Defensive about his things and snatched your phone?
One plus one equals to two.
Idk why everyone is jumping to crazy conclusions. Maybe he forgot to close pornhub 🤷♂️ Just talk to him in private about this, how it made you feel, and ask him the real reason he did that
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
So what is on his phone? Nudes of other women? Nudes/videos of you that you are unaware of? Nude photos of kids?
>My phone was on charge so I just took his phone
Not cool. His phone is his phone and not your phone or “our” phone. Even if yours is on charge.
That said, it sure sounds like there’s something inappropriate on his phone. Sometime when you’re both calm and alone, you should get to the bottom of this and find out what photos he has. Then you’ll know what to do.
In a different sub, I’d say everyone sucks here. (ESH).
That’s a lot of words to say you don’t respect your guy.
An STD screen advisable, maybe??
Now take it quietly when he’s not looking. He gave you reasons
You should have given it to him when he asked for it. And next time use paragraphs to make your post easy on the eye.
He’s 100 percent hiding something, he’s not an honest person, be careful!
“private photos with his family”
😳🙄😳🤣
YIKES!
Something hiding in there
Our phones are pretty much an extension of us and our lives. It’s a digital journal for many. You don’t get permission to access it, especially taking it from him. He may have over-reacted, but I certainly support his right to have a private life, without public access, even with his partner. I have been with my partner for almost 9 years. I would NEVER access his phone without his explicit permission.
Hes 100% hiding something be fr
I was in a lecture with Gary Vaynerchuck one time and he told us to unlock our phone and hand it to the person next to us. Then noted how all our palms were sweaty. It’s because our phones have become so personal it’s almost like giving someone your diary, wallet and health history over. I don’t blame him.
Yeah, he’s cheating. And right this moment, he’s deleting all evidence, so he can come to later and say, “I’m sorry I over-reacted. Here. You can look at my phone!”
Yeah. Cheating.
Come on you can’t be so dumb why would your partner be so protective over thier phone. I think you know it, but I don’t want to admit it. He is cheating on you and has some very inappropriate pictures, or maybe he is just a creep has pedo pictures. But what I do know is you probably should not be with him.
Lol. Come on. Bro. Like. Really? Come on.
He’s FOS! He’s got something he doesn’t want you to see.
So you didn’t ask first, you just grabbed his phone like a toddler?
Hahahahahaha.
Guy has dick pics and photos of girls on there, or REALLY sus browsing history or autofill text options, and hasn’t been savvy enough to actually hide it.
It bothers me that he forced you to give up the phone, in front of others no less. Is this what you have to look forward to, someone using force to get their way?
A side note: Ask before borrowing someone else’s property. Manners matter. Especially with family or a significant other.
Private family pictures? What activity do they get up to that he doesn’t want you to see? 🤮
I joke, of course.
It’s fairly obvious that he’s hiding something. Hopefully, not weird family activities. What a twist in this post that would be!
Didn’t i literally just see this story yesterday
Sis he’s hiding something…that’s all ima say
He’s 100% hiding something creepy on that phone lol
your phone was charging in a restaurant ?
I mean do you let him go through your phone? Did he hurt you?
not To be rude but it’s not like you have the right to take someone’s property and look through their stuff, in Texas even a wife can be arrested for looking into a husbands phone etc.
I suggest you talk to him about it rather then ask a bunch of strangers who have nothing better to do then stir trouble
Your boyfriend is hiding something from you. Something he believes would be a deal breaker for your relationship.
There’s something in that gallery and it’s not “private family photos”.
He’s hiding something, but it might not be what you think. Could be he took embarrassing pics of himself, could be hes planning a surprise and doesn’t want you to see, could be he recently had a conversation with a friend who called him whipped and he doesn’t want to have to also admit you have free access to his phone. Could be a million things.
Ask him and see if you believe his answer.
I once grabbed my ex- husband’s phone while he was in another room to take a pic of our son to send to my mom. I was shocked to find a recent pic of a girl in his phone. I called him, and when he came in, he immediately snatched his phone and deleted the pic. Long story short, he met her at the club while he was away for work and was trying to meet up, but I derailed it by contacting her. She didn’t know he was married. I divorced him years later for being a serial cheater. When they start acting secretive over their phone, something is usually going on.
Yeahhhh, he’s cheated or is working up to it.
MAYBE he’s from Kentucky or Alabama
Dump him. Seriously. Look, I come from a nice household , my parents never touched my phone, but between my mom and dad they don’t have any privacy, they’re a couple. Ofc they have to an open notebook with each other. And moreover, no man or woman will try to be so adamant if they don’t have nothing to hide, so he def has something to hide. Dump,him. He’s being an ass, that too, this all happened among his friends? That’s way too rude and bs that you don’t have to put up with. My boyfriend does not hide anything, if I ask his phone he will just give it to me, what privacy? Ik his password I open it on my own, he has friends on snap n everything, I have had an insecure past but not anymore, he doesn’t hide shit and never pointed out anything infront of his friends or anything, that’s humiliating bro. Stop it, you can do better
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Super big red flag. He’s got stuff he don’t want you to see! Who’s sending nude pics to him? Is he in them? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
YTA. Respect other people’s property. OTOH, he is cheating. So, a good match!
Transparency is really important in relationships. If you can’t use or see each others phones, he’s hiding something sinister.
He’s hiding stuff for sure.
Spicy pics/internet history. Shame or Guilt.
He’s probably got some pornographic images of women. Maybe straight up downloaded from the internet or perhaps someone who knows. Hard to say. Don’t jump to conclusions but it is worth talking about if you don’t approach it by accusing him
Unlock your phone and hand it to him. Don’t say anything. Let him go through it. Don’t ask for his, if he don’t offer it up, decide if you want to be with him or not.