My BF (22) and I are the same age and we have been together for over 3 years now. His mom (boy mom, mind you) has always been the most welcoming to me, something I’ve always been grateful for. But I can’t shake the fact that she continues to baby him.
He’s lives on his own (with roommates) during school. When he comes home for the summer, his mom does his laundry, cooks for him, tells him when to clean his room (and if he doesn’t do it the way she likes, she goes in and remakes the bed, etc.) and it’s all too much for me and extremely overbearing.
I have talked to him a couple times about this and nothing has gone very well. I left feeling unheard and hurt. We both come from traditional Italian families, and a big thing is how much our moms love doing things for us. While I have no experience, I think it’s a beautiful thing to be a mother and take care of you children, but it gets to a certain point that you need to let your kids grow up and be. He says she just likes doing these things for him, so I shouldn’t have an issue with it. But I’ve tried to explain his need to set boundaries with her. It goes as far sometimes as her freaking out and spam calling him when he doesn’t respond to her texts quickly, something she does even when she knows he’s with me.
I’m truly at a loss with this and I don’t know what to do. He says it’s none of my business what his family dynamic is, but I feel like it is my business if I wish to enter this family one day and spend the rest of my life with him.
I’m sorry if there’s similar posts on this page and this is somewhat of a repeat, but I would appreciate any insight or advice that anyone has. 🤍