I’ve been dating my boyfriend 28M for almost two years. He’s a really nice guy, affectionate, provides and caring.
The thing is that he lives with his siblings. One in particular. His brother is 21M, single, never has brought a girl home or I’ve never heard that he’s talking to someone. Ever since I went to his home. He makes ugly jokes about me in front of everyone here and there. This doesn’t happen often but it has happened like 4 or 5 times. I talked to my boyfriend about it the other day and he said he would talk to him the next time he made another joke.
Well, tonight, my brother in law made another tasteless joke about me while we were in the living room. Everyone heard it. The night ended and when my boyfriend was going to take me home, while we were in the car, I couldn’t help myself and I started crying out of frustration to my boyfriend and told him how I felt, he said he didn’t hear it at the moment (my boyfriend was there). He then told me he was gonna call his brother to where we were (in the garage) so he could talk to him in front of me but I didn’t want to make it more awkward. He then proceeded to apologize and reassure me he would say something if his brother makes another joke.
I just wonder what makes someone do that? Is it that he doesn’t like me? Or he is just immature? I haven’t really done anything to him. I have even helped him with stuff like paperwork for his job. (This was before he started making jokes)
TLDR
Brother in law 21M makes tasteless jokes about me in front of everyone and my boyfriend who was there, said he didn’t hear it but apologized on his behalf.
Comments
Hello, your brother-in-law is an idiot and from here you will know the character of your boyfriend depending on whether he defends you or not…. in any case, update when a few days have passed so we can know the outcome, take care.
Next time he makes a comment like that you just calmly say “what a rude thing to say”. Nothing else. Just let the awkward silence exist. Either he’ll apologise or get defensive, but either way your boyfriend can no longer pretend he didn’t hear anything, and you’ve let his brother know you’re not going to just sit there and be insulted.
Nobody but him can tell you why he does what he does. The more relevant questions are:
Why would he wait for the next time he insults you the address the issue?
After he makes a comment about your appearance, ask him calmly why he made the comment. If he has not answer, ask him why he is so concerned with his brother’s girlfriend’s appearance. Tell him you think it is strange that he is so concerned about how you look. Ask him if he is actually self conscious about how he looks. Tell him that people won’t be very concerned about how he looks if he keeps walking around making rude comments about people looking ugly.