My brother and his wife are in their 30s and everyone in the family kind of assumed they either didn’t want kids or couldn’t have them. Well on Friday they surprised us that they’re having a baby. I was really happy for his wife, she’s so lovely. However, I can’t help but be incredibly anxious for him to have a child, especially if it’s a girl. He was about 14 when he sexually assaulted me and raped my cousin. I was around 8 and she was around 10 I thInk. I have no idea what I should even do. Most of my family knows what he did. And no one really seems to care that much. Is it possible he was just a stupid teen and he’s learned from what he did?
My brother sexually assaulted me and my cousin when we were little.. and I just found out him and his wife are having a baby
r/Advice
Comments
What specific advice did you need?
Confront him in private and discuss it.
Nothing will change unless you involve the law.
I’d tell his wife if ur not scared 😬
Confront Her. She is the only party that is in danger and is out of the loop . U inform the future victim
The advice to confront your assaulter is ill informed and dangerous
This needs to be confronted asap. You can’t continue to hide this for the child’s sake.
What he did was not a mistake. It was abuse. His age does NOT excuse his actions.
Your concern for the child is makes sense . Past behavior especially this serious, must be taken seriously.
If you’re unsure what to do, consult a therapist or legal professional.
My cousin assaulted me when I was younger, and his sister just had a baby, I fear constantly the same will happen but we don’t talk to that side of the family anymore. I came out about it and literally no one believed me besides my mom and maybe my dad, so I just gave up. Nothing I can do without seeming like I have a random vendetta and I don’t need the stress in my life. His sister actually caught him once so I hope she remembers and doesn’t let him alone with the baby. Not much more you can do besides stir the pot and have another aspect of drama in your life
At age 14 he knew what he was doing, that’s not being a stupid teenager. Did anything ever happen when he got caught? Was he charged for it? If so I would show her the paperwork from that. I understand family is family but I just can’t understand why everyone is just ignoring this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. ❤️
Tell future mom. She deserves to know. I wouldn’t have a child with a rapist.
Legit my brother assaulted me at 8 as well and his gf was pregnant the beginning of last year ( I’m 18 now) and she ended up getting a abortion because she ” doesn’t want 2 baby daddy’s ” idfk anywho I Legit was so worried about that baby, like his gf has a daughter ( not my brother’s kid ) already but she’s 2 and ofc I’m worried about her aswell and I told my older sister I feel bad for the child because of what my brother did. If I was you I would try to tell the gf.
Under very rare circumstances he might have grown up and realized it was wrong but @ 14 he was at an age that was probably old enough to know right from wrong. I would be very concerned he might do somthing again. It’s sad. It’s not like your brother was under 10 years old and didn’t understand what he was doing. I’d be concerned.
Man that’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened. Is the baby a boy or girl? Is gender a factor of the situation? Maybe that would guide you on if confrontation was needed to his wife.