I’m 24 and live at home for now while saving up. My older brother (26) still lives here too and his girlfriend is around constantly. At first it was fine, but she started taking my things without asking. Hoodies, chargers, even random skincare. I’d find it in her bag days later or she’d show up wearing my hoodie like it was hers.
I told my brother it annoyed me and he brushed it off, saying she just “forgets to give it back.” Well now my headphones are missing. Not cheap ones either, the pair I saved up for. I asked her about it and she laughed and said she probably left them at her place, but that was two weeks ago and I still don’t have them back.
My parents think I’m overreacting and don’t want to cause drama, but I’m seriously losing patience. Do I confront her directly, force my brother to replace what’s missing, or just start locking my door every time I leave the house?
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I’ve actually been through something insanely similar, reading this actually tripped me out.
Anyway, here’s what I did….start “borrowing” their shit. I started real slow so it wasn’t obvious it was in retaliation. Eventually they got upset and I caught them in a gotcha moment, it was glorious.
Stuff like that is always all good, until it happens to them.
Confront her, tell her you either get your stuff back or she can talk it over with cops.
Tell your brother he pays for a new pair or you’ll call the police
Go to her house, rummage through every cupboard and drawer and take what is yours. Maybe that will make her realise how invasive it is. And yes, lock your door. And tell her the next thing she steals will be reported to the police.
Come on now, you aren’t kids anymore. You need to shut this shit down. Tell her you’ll file a police report for theft if she doesn’t return them. A visit from the cops will put her, and your nonchalant family straight.
Borrow her laptop or something else of high value to barter for the headphones and other stuff back.
I’ve never understood how some people are wired. This is so fucked up. It’s like when I lived with my gf and her mum for a month waiting for our house move to go through (yes was very kind of her). She used to eat all of our stuff. Literally all of it. We ended up hiding it in the bedroom and she would rummage through our drawers and find it there and eat it. Was proper bizarre. My gf was embarrassed but didn’t confront her as didn’t rock the boat. I haven’t visited her since as it was really unsettling knowing she was rummaging through all our private stuff
lock your room.
NOR
Demand them back immediately. Tell her that she is no longer allowed to “borrow” anything from you.
If she tries to blow you off, tell her if you don’t get them back today you are going to report them stolen. If she says your are overreacting, say “No I am not. They are expensive. You took them without permission and you have refused to return them. For all I know you have sold them or lost them. I want them back immediately. If you can’t find them then you need to buy me a new pair today.”
Don’t worry about what your brother and parents think. This is ridiculous . She is outright stealing your stuff. Also, consider moving out and getting appartments with some friends because your family are jerks. You clearly need your own space.
Tell your brother in front of your parents: “Hey, the thief you’re dating stole my headphones — she admitted it. She can return them in the same condition they were in when she took them, or she can pay me the $___ they cost. Whichever. But I want resolution by Friday, or I take her to small claims court [or report her to the police].”
And, yes, put a lock on your door so the bitch can’t steal anything else.
You need a lock on your door and a sign that says ‘no bitches allowed’
tell your brother and her she needs to give it back, or him or her needs to pay you to replace the headphones, else you’ll make a police report. it’s theft.
Get a camera for your room, get a lock as well if you don’t have one. Put your foot down and tell her to give the headphones back, tell your brother that this cannot continue happening. Make it clear that if anything of yours goes missing again, you’ll let the police sort it out then.
I’m guessing brother is the golden child?
Make a stink about this. Headphones back or you report to police. Record your next conversation about them with the gf (check laws) saying she took them and refuses to give them back. That’s evidence for police.
Either lock your door or install a camera. Nice thing about the camera is that it’s evidence.
Well – since mommy & daddy think you should be THRILLED your brothers cum dumpster is a thief — are they planning on replacing what she stole? How about bro? Is the poor guy such a loser he has to be ok with a thief? Or is it a case of like attracting like? Meaning he’s sticky fingered too? Maybe your parents are thieves and that’s why CD actions are “ok”?
OP that’s stuff I’d NEED to KNOW.
Lock your door & camera in your room if you can. A locked door only deters honest people. Thieves take a locked door as a challenge.
Anybody who guilt trips ya for not being OK with unacceptable behavior has JUST shown how they need to be treated – exactly like they be treating you.
Confront her in front of your brother and parents and let her know that if your expensive headphone is not returned by whatever time you pick, that you will file a police report for stolen property. Also inform her that unless you give her permission, she is not allowed to borrow a of your things. Start locking your door.
Why are you allowing this to happen? Tell her to give them back now, and put a lock on your door and if they complain tell them that this is not okay, you are not dating her and this is weird.
This is not borrowing, it is stealing with a cute excuse. Your brother is choosing peace over fairness, which means you have to choose boundaries over comfort. Lock your door, demand your headphones back, and make it clear that if she takes again, your brother pays. Silence is permission, and she has had enough of that.
Time to move out
She is a thief. Tell her if you do not have your stuff by the end of the day, you will call the cops. Then DO IT.
Tell her to return them, immediately or you’ll file a police report for theft. Tell her you’ll do the same, if she takes anything else. If the headphones aren’t in the condition that they left in, demand that she pays for them.
Get a lock for your door, and keep it locked.
Updateme
Take her purse and hide it until she returns your stuff using the same lame excuses.
Bonus points for copying down all of her credit card information and making a copy of her keys
She’s not borrowing.
If she’s taking stuff without your permission (whether she eventually returns it or not), then she’s stealing your stuff.
Write a letter outlining everything that is missing (even down to elastic hair bobbles), with details telling her that you want it returned by a certain date/time. Film yourself giving it to her, and if your stuff isn’t returned, let her know that you WILL call the police.
File a police report. Don’t screw around with thieves. That’s what she is, a thief.
You do all 3.
Demand your headphones back and let your brother know you will have a pair by x date – either she returns your pair or he buys a new pair. Then lock your door to put a stop to this nonsense.
>just start locking my door every time I leave the house?
You should have done this ages ago.
Borrow one of her tires. Forget to give it back.
Then trade her for your shit. Simple.
Why not just start calling her The Kleptomaniac? Call her that, or Klepto for short, to her face and when referring to her. If that doesn’t shame her, it may make your family open their eyes that this woman has a serious mental disorder. Have you checked to see if she has an arrest record? I bet she has at least one shoplifting charge somewhere.
Report them stolen.
All of the above. You should have locked your door as soon as this started.
Put a lock and camera in your room. Sit you mom and dad down and ask how they don’t understand that not only are your things going missing, but someone who you don’t really know well enough is invading your privacy and stealing. She only returns things because you speak up and you expect your parents to have your back. Then ask how they think dear brother or dad would react if your bf just took their stuff and why they think this behavior is ok? Also, ask why you SHOULD keep the peace? She is rummaging around in your room, your personal space, and taking your stuff without permission. Further, you have told her to stop it but she doesn’t care, so why should you keep the peace? I’d also maybe threaten to go to the police. Tell brother either she stops or your relationship with him is done because he is showing he has no respect for you. When he says, you’re overreacting say, these are my things, not yours. The fact that it bothers me and you are dismissing my feelings about someone stealing or “borrowing” my stuff shows you have no respect for me.
Tell her she needs to bring all your stuff back or you are calling the police for theft. But be ready to do so.
Start selling your brother’s property on FB marketplace until you’ve made enough to replace them. Also, openly refer to her as the thief when everyone is around. Also, text her about it and when she says that they’re still at her place, go file a police report.
NTA the definition of stealing is taking without someone’s permission.
Did you ask my permission, no.
Have I given you permission, no.
Return my stuff or I report you to the police for stealing.
All of the above and consider contacting police if she doesn’t return them or it escalates.
You’re grossly under reacting.
“Borrowing” is done with permission.
She is stealing.
If she’s going to be doing that all the time, at least prank her somehow. Put a fake roach in the jacket pocket or something. Ask chat GPT how you can set her up (in a non harmful way). Sorry that’s happening to you though, sucks to hear that no one is backing you up.
Confront her directly and tell her unless she gives them back you’re calling the police. Once you get them back tell her to keep her thieving hands to herself.
All of the above AND report her to the police for theft.
Next time she is at your house go into her bag, get her house keys, drive to her place, let yourself in and gather your stuff. On your way back stop at a big box store and pick up a doorknob with a key and a shower caddy to carry your products back and forth to your bathroom. You need a Philips screwdriver and ten minutes of your time to change the doorknob.
When the sh!t hits the fan, and it will, she’ll say how dare you go into my home? You then answer how dare you steal my stuff? Everyone will be mad at each other but you will have put an end to her nonsense.
Your brother is an AH for brining a thief to your home and then acting like it’s normal for someone to just randomly take your stuff.
I feel sorry for him to be with such a rude klepto
Damn that is toxic, I’m sorry that this is happening to you, should probably put a lock on your door.
She’s stealing. Make a list of everything that hasn’t been returned and file a police report. And locking the door should have been your first move. Don’t keep enabling her!
Why and who goes to someone’s home and walks into their room? Next time she is at your house, when she is leaving tell her you are following her to her place to pick up the headphones.
Start taking your brothers and parents things if this behavior is normalized. I truly believe there are people who cannot learn until they experience.
Borrow without ask is stealing. She isn’t bringing stuff back you are finding them or demanding return. This is theft and be very firm about it or let them know they can no longer come over.
Start taking your brother’s stuff. Right now it’s not an issue for him because it’s not affecting him. Take his f’n wallet or car keys and see how he feels about it.
Confront her and embarrass her in front of everyone. Stop being polite and be direct.
Definitely get a lock for your door. But tell her that if they are not returned within 24 hours, you will file a police report for theft. That is exactly what it is. She took something without your permission it’s called stealing, and it’s illegal.
Tell your parents how much they are since they don’t want to cause drama they can buy you a new set. Tell her how much they are.. Remind her every day.. be the squeeky wheel. Lock your shit and get a camera in your room too.
Make a list of everything, the value, and give to both of them. Demand restitution . tell them either pay, return in the same condition, or you will file a police report. This is ridiculous on your families part. Your brother is being an ass. She is stealing. Parents are excusing it. Put a camera in your room in case they can get in thru the lock and never leave your room unlocked. She will eventually steal from someone else.
Tell her if they’re not back tomorrow you’re calling the police, and get a lock for your door.
Go in her bag and start stealing her shit and use it.
Hide her bag the next time she comes, tell her you borrowed it when she goes looking, and hold it hostage until you get your stuff back.
This can be easily resolved with “ Oi skank! Leave my shit alone “
tell your brother: Either he pays for the stolen headphones, or there will be a police report.
Make a list of what she took, invoice him, and tell HIM to pay up. HIS guest, HIs fault.
secretly get a security camera for your room, and get evidence one of the next times she steals from you.
And stop calling it “borrowing” – be more direct: Your gf stole from me, you need to pay for it or I will report her theft to the police.
Steal something of equal or greater value from your brother and only return it when you get your stuff back see if he likes it.
She is stealing from you. Every time she turns up in something of your stamp as hard as you can on her foot, you “accidentally slipped” after all. She will get the message pretty quickly. That or call the police. She is an adult bully and needs a firm bite back.
Tell her to have them back to you tomorrow or you’re filing a police report, since she already admitted to taking them.
So, you have to make it their problem. Right now you are the only one who cares and when the pain or staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, then they will start to see the light.
2 Lock on your door and cameras in your room. Lock the closet, skincare in a lockbox, all of it. Lock your damn purse if you have to. Add to tracker of costs to deal with this little thief.
If anyone says anything, tell them they can buy you a replacement when she steals. Call it stealing because it isn’t borrowing – it’s theft.
Call the police
It is called stealing. Lock your door and cut ties with her.
That thief is the one that caused and continues to cause drama. Raise a ruckus! Your brother brings a thief into your home and allows her free rein to go through people’s private space and things. He needs to pay you for the exact headphones his gf stole.
And get a lock! Lock your door if you leave the room, even to go to the bathroom.
Change your door with a lock, put a camera up
Sue her for stealing
She is stealing from you, and making a joke of it. Demand the return of your headphones, and put a lock on your door. Your brother and parents are AHs for enabling her theft.
Ask dad to put a lock on your door. Or at least if he’s fine with you doubt so, he gets to keep one of the keys in case or real emergency.
Dads are (usually) pretty practical. Write on a piece of paper.
Skincare – $20
Hoodie – $45
Charger – $10
Headphones – $200
Tell him this is all the stuff she’s “borrowed without asking”.
Then confront the gf in front of everyone. “Hey could you possibly return those $200 headphones you borrowed. I worked hard to save the money for them and I need them back. Put her on the spot. Tell her you need them by this weekend for (made up reason). Then every single day remind her in front of your parents. Make it clear if she hasn’t returned them yet. Embarrass her. She’s trying to be sneaky and hope it goes away.
Alternatively, tell your brother to grab them next time he’s at her house. Send him random texts throughout the day, every day. Become a problem. Be annoying.
But make sure you get a lock on that door.
(All numbers made up btw.)
I’d stop using her name and refer to her only as ‘Thief’
You yourself are enabling this behavior. Stop complaining to your parents or your brother. Confront her directly and tell her no more! Tell her to give back your headphones immediately. Also tell her to stay out of your stuff.
And yes, lock you door when you leave the house.
Only you can allow yourself to be taken advantage of.
Start using the word “stealing” and “taking” – this is complete BS. And if you really want to go there go into your brother’s room and take a batch of his stuff. Put it at someone else’s house (friend?) – and then tell him he is overreacting, you forgot, and not to make a big deal of it.
File a theft report with the police. Have your proof of payment handy. Go to the police station to do tjis if you can. Stand firm.
It sounds like you need to demand the headphones and put a lock on your door.
It also sounds like your brother needs to wise up to his GFs issues
Lock your door. It’s a good habit to get into for the rest of your life, no matter your circumstances.
Tell her she has until [insert date here] and then you’ll be reporting the theft of the item in question to the police. If you told he this face to face then just walk away after telling her that, don’t even give her a chance to respond. With some luck it will scare her enough that she’ll return the item. If not then do actually go the police about it.
Alternatively start hiding some camera’s in your room and keep the door unlocked. If you can get it on camera every time she steals something then wait until it gets into felony levels of theft and report it all to the police in one go.
I’d give her one day until I filedba police report. This will only get worse. Also buy a lock and use it.
Tell her if you don’t have them back by tomorrow you will file a police report. She is a thief and will take whatever she can. Get a lock for your door.
Put a keyed lock on your door. If the bathroom is shared, treat it like a dorm and keep all of your skin care, toiletries, and makeup in your room and only take what’s needed to the bathroom and remember to return it to your bedroom. Keep your door locked at all times.
This girl is not a borrower. She’s a thief. She has 24 hours to return your stuff or your enabling weak ass parents and sorry excuse for a brother can keep the peace and pay you back or you take her to small claims court with an itemized list of what she’s stolen and owes you.
I cannot STAND a thief. They are the dregs of society.
If she was cold? She should have borrowed your brother’s hoodie! If she needed headphones? She should have brought her own or borrowed your brother’s. People who borrow coats, sweaters, and hoodies return them before they go home. Same with electronics and accessories. Permission is asked first. She stole from you.
This chick has no boundaries and is a thief.
Protect yourself. Get the lock. Be smart. Get out as soon as you can. Go to small claims court and get her wages garnished. She will keep being a thief until someone holds her accountable.
If I was your mother, that thieving little witch would never be welcome in our home again and your immature brother’s ass would be sleeping on the front lawn until he returned every single one of your missing items and he’d have until his 27th birthday to get his butt out and moved in to his own apartment. Same for you. Age 27. Keep saving. Frankly, I’d be so mad at him, I might not welcome him back. If he’s dumb enough to date a thief, I’d not want him back.
Get that lock. I’m beyond pissed at your mother and brother. Weak. I hate weak people tolerating thieves.
lock your room. She’s an inconsiderate thief.
Get a small (mini) camera and put it in your room, if nothing else. You will have proof of what she does and show it to her and the brother, while you hand HIM the invoice for the “stolen” items
Listen Hun
You walk to her and say out loud where everyone can see and hear it: you either are giving me back my stuff or I am reporting it to the police. Dont test me because you ain’t sucking my d** so you can’t bribe me with that.
You need to say, “I need my expensive headphones back in the next 24 hours. It was not ok for you to take those without permission and to keep them for so long. Please return all of my things that you have borrowed without asking and replace the things you have taken and used up like cosmetics and skin care. You cannot borrow my things anymore because you take them without asking and don’t return them. My things should be there for me to use when I need them.”
Standing up for yourself when someone is stealing your things is not “creating drama.” It’s just not being a doormat. If anyone throws that around remind them that taking someone else’s things without asking is rude. And that it’s stealing when you don’t return them. She is the one doing something wrong here.
I think you should consider getting a lock for your bedroom door.
You do all of it, plus more.
Confront her directly and tell her that you want everything she has stolen from you back immediately. And keep saying it until she returns everything.
Start calling her “Thief” to her face. Because that’s what she is. If anyone gets upset, simply tell them that you are just calling her what she is. She isn’t “borrowing” your things. She is stealing them.
Lock your door always
Ask your parents why they are supporting her theft of your belongings
Tell your brother, her, and your parents ALL AT THE SAME TIME that you are NOT okay with her stealing your stuff, and it has to stop NOW or you will start calling her out about it on social media…and do it. Take photos of her wearing your stuff.
Your brother possibly even suggested, “Yeah. Take it, she might not notice. She won’t mind.” Your brother enabled the situation to develop and your parents are condoning the inappropriate behavior.
Your self-respect, self-care and well-being suggest you be open, direct/blunt about your feelings about his gf ‘taking stuff’. Don’t get loud. Don’t swear. Keep chill and purposeful as you ‘lay down the no-go zone’, and install (or have installed) a good, sturdy, nice? door lock. If headset not returned – give brother a bill for the head set and the bill for the lock. Don’t haggle. Don’t argue about payment/s. Let him stew on the issues! 😔 😟
Get a lock fitted to your room. Keep a spare key in a safe place.
I feel like the move here is to start stealing your brothers stuff.
Start locking your door definitely and go over to her house. If she refuses to give them back call the police right in front of her and make a report for stolen property.
Any chance those headphones register on Find My… Or the android equivalent?
If so… And they show up as located at her property… I would give her one more warning and an ultimatum to return them or else. Don’t elaborate further.
If they don’t file a police report and show them the reported location of your property.
When you do call the nonemergency number… Not 911… And when you talk to the police be rational and reasonable. But firmly state that if you don’t get your property back you want to press charges.
And be sure to get a lock for your room and a security camera.
You have to be prepared for things to go boom, but if you don’t you and your stuff are going to be her property for the rest of their relationship.
I would mortified if my partner was stealing from my family! Everyone else gaslighting you into thinking it’s not a big deal is crazy
That’s not borrowing- that’s theft.
Next time she’s around, grab her phone and hide it somewhere very unlikely to be found. (under a lot of cushions is a good place because you may not be able to silence it). When she starts a commotion about it, tell her oh, maybe that’s where my headphones went! Too bad, I guess it’s lost forever”. You could do this with her keys, something else valuable to her besides her phone, too. Just make her stuff go missing.
When she starts bitching you out say “actually, I have a list of all the crap you’ve stolen from me, from us, and I would like it back, or I guess I just don’t know where your phone is. So go get all of my stuff – ALL OF IT – and bring it back now. You get your phone back when all our stuff is returned. And if something on my list isn’t there, I’m going to send you back to your place to get it. No you don’t get to see the list!.”
You’re going to be hella shocked when you see how much stuff of yours she already stole without you knowing. Pretend you know about all of it and you’ve just been letting it go, in fact make a real list of what you’re missing.
But I would be texting her in the meantime demanding multiple times a day to bring back your headphones, why are you going soft on this! Demand continuously, be a brat! Same with your parents.
Ideally you get all this on text, her laughing at you and refusing to return things, and then you can file a police report. get serious, this is completely unacceptable behavior.
Why enable a thief who’s stealing everything they can get their hands on?
Lock for your door, cameras for your room and I would even hide some cameras in the main living spaces where she hangs out, to catch her actively stealing.
I had a roommate like this, that is what I did and it worked. you are not a child, grow up and take care of this – she should not be holding her stuff hostage, so turn around and hold her hostage.
Video of her stealing something of your mom’s you put in the living room could work just as well!
Put a real lock on your door. Inform her/them that you are reporting the theft of your headphones to the police if they are not in your hands in 24 hours
Lock your door and tell her she either replaces all of your stuff or she can explain to the police where all of your items are.
This is on your brother and you need to pressure him to make it right. Else the pair of you are going to be doormats for the rest of your life. It’s gonna be hard for him cos he thinks any drama will result in the withdrawal of sex, and he’s probably right. But at least he won’t be a little bitch anymore.
Assert that you want your headphones and you want them today, or that psycho thief isn’t coming in the flat anymore. Dare him to test you on that.
Get a keyed lock for your door, she’s a thief!
Give her 24 hours to bring back EVERYTHING she has taken or you will call the police and report the theft. Then get a lock for your door and use it at all times!
Tell your family that they are not only wrong but also foolish for enabling a thief and they should be ashamed of themselves. They should be backing you up, not helping the klepto.
No, you’re not overreacting. It’s akin to stealing. Plus, it’s gross to have someone else use your headphones.
Locking the door with a lock that only YOU have a key to would be the place to start. I hope you can get your headphones back, but these people need to have your back. Since they don’t, you will have to. And if they think that is overreacting, start taking THEIR stuff!
Start locking your door , and ask for your stuff back again, if you don’t receive your stuff, then provide an invoice to your brother ..he can pay for those items and consider them gifts he bought for his gf
Tell her she has 24h to return them before the cops get involved. She’s low key admitted to taking them already. So now you give her a timeline. It’s up to you if you decide to actually report to the cops
Ask her to bring the headphones back every time you see her, even if it’s more than once a day.
As a mother, I wouldn’t allow my kids to say anything about it, I would be! I’d tell the brother, the girlfriend and the parents they have 1 day to return it, or someone’s paying for them. Then lock your door. Every. Time. You. Walk. Out.
Lock your room and make your brother replace your headphones. Tell your parents that they are enabling their son’s thieving girlfriend and if they choose to support her stealing from you, then maybe THEY should replace the headphones.
Wow, she is way overstepping. Get an indoor lock with a pin.
Man, id be so pissed if this was happening to me.
You have to tell her plainly and clearly not to touch your belongings. Then tell her how much she owes you for things she’s taken and not returned.
Actually I would yell in front of everyone, the next time she walked into a room with your brother,”Give me back my head phones you f@&$ing thief. It’s been two weeks go get them.” When they tell you that you are being rude, tell them until she returns my headphones, my hoodies, my other clothes you will make sure she is uncomfortable from the second she arrives until she leaves.
Ask your brother to reimburse you for the borrowed headphones. Stealing = borrowing without asking. Ask the girlfriend to stop stealing, taking or borrowing YOUR things. Put a thumb print lock on your bedroom door or at least your closet door. They are inexpensive on Amazon. You are wise to learn how to set boundaries and I force them with action.
Start borrowing her debit and credit cards then forget to give them back.
Wow. Borrowing stuff from a boyfriend is one thing. But borrowing stuff from his sibling? Without asking? Nope nope nope. Not ok.
Yes, do all of the things you mentioned.
Your brother was wrong to brush off your valid concerns. He should have put a stop to it. Now, unfortunately, that job falls to you. Even if you are certain she took your headphones, good luck trying to get your brother to pay for them. He didn’t care enough to stop her behavior in the first place, so he’s not going to pay for it now. The only thing you can do is confront her at this point. Maybe you’ll get them back. But going forward, certainly lock your door.
Go to her house and get them and put a lock on your door. It’s rude to take someone stuff without asking.
Tell her that you want your headphones back and for her not to touch or take things that don’t belong to her. (Tell her in front of your brother and your parents, so that they know and like someone else suggested, put a lock on your door).
She’s a thief. Treat her like one and report the headphones stolen.
Start borrowing things of your parents and lend them to the girlfriend. When they complain repeat back what they said to you.
Start planning your exit strategy to move out.
Start by locking your room then demand your property back.
You should do all of the things that you asked if you should do
Use your words! Get assertive! Tell her hands off my stuff! Either return or replace my headset!
I can’t help but check out when it’s ” my parents think…” So f what, who cares.
Got o the police
Your parents should have your back here. It’s not okay for anyone to take your stuff without permission.
Send her a text with your brother on it. State plainly that you feel disrespected for having your things taken without your permission and that it’s disrespectful. List everything that she has taken, that she still has, and that you want back. If they push back, tell them you’ll get the police involved. She is stealing from you, flat out. She is taking your items that you purchase with YOUR money.
You want this in text so they (hopefully) confirm her actions. This isn’t a situation you can be passive about. She knows what she’s doing and because you’re not putting up a fire about it she is continuing the behavior.
Take her stuff, go out, when she asks for it back, say yeah sure, when I get my headphones.
Nah your bro needs to become a man
You should have locked your door when the first thing went missing.
She’s either a kleptomaniac or it’s a power play.
Either way it’s stealing.
It’s not borrowing, because she doesn’t ask permission. It’s theft.
You’re not her sister so there’s no “it’s just family stuff” here.
Confront her publicly, say “You’ve stolen lots of my things and now you’ve stolen my expensive headphones and you refuse to return them. This is blatant theft. If you don’t return them, TODAY, I will report this theft to the police.
I’m not joking, I’m sick of your shit.”
And then lock your door ffs.
I would tell her she has 24 hours to return everything of yours that she has.
I would put a key lock on my door and not give anyone a key.
Tell her, your parents and your brother that if she does not return this stuff, you’re going to report it as stolen to the police. I would also tell them that going forward if she takes anything else of yours that you are going to call the police.
She’s stealing. And because no one has called her out about it, the value of things she takes is escalating. And she will literally cry and say you’re mean if you mention it. Put all your clothes in your room and lock the door. If she’s such a theif she can’t keep her hands of your toiletries, remove them as well. Do not leave ANYTHING where she can reach it. And if anything comes up missing, that means she’s breaking into your space.
You’re not overreacting, it’s your stuff. It shouldn’t have been taken in the first place. Stand your ground, get it all back and tell her to stop touching your stuff. Your brother should have taken your side too
When she puts her purse down, dump everything out of it.
When she yells, just say “I’m just borrowing it.”
My boyfriend’s sister used to do this to me and they used to gaslight me. A dress of mine that was hanging up was gone one day. I asked him to ask his sister (i had to go to work) and she told him “it probably fell off the hanger or something.” When i got home from work, it was on the floor underneath the hanger. Out in the open, only thing on the floor. What the fuck.
I would confront her directly and I would force your brother to replace anything that goes missing and do it all in front of your parents. You’re not being overdramatic, she’s stealing from you and there’s nobody backing you up in your own home. Your parents should have your back.
I would also get a lock on my bedroom door.
You really tried going about this the right way and you wasn’t heard and what left now is confronting her directly telling her how much you don’t appreciate her using your things and she should bring everything else she took including all your hoodies and all as she has crossed the line for real this time, as for your brother he has to replace your valuable headphone she is her girlfriend anyway so she is his responsibility anyway so he has do settle every damage she makes. And locking the door everytime you go out might also not be such a bad for insurance and safety of your things
Lock your door ANY time you are not in your room. If asked say you are tired of your stuff constantly missing. Brother’s GF can provide her own shit. Or HE can. And present her with a bill for what the headphones cost; she can either return them or repay you for them. And get a basket or box for your toiletries and take them back & forth from your room to the bathroom. Sure, this is a pain in the butt, but she’s HIS Gf, not YOURS so why should you provide everything for her.
lock the door and put a fart bomb iin your brothers room where they cant find it.
I think you’re under reacting.
Oof, your parents dont even have your back on this, thats rough. She is a thief, you can call her that. Shes not borrowing stuff. Hopefully your brother sees her for who she is soon.
Do I confront her directly, force my brother to replace what’s missing, or just start locking my door every time I leave the house?
All of the above. As for your parents, try stashing some of their stuff where they can’t find it and see how they react.
Tell her that if she’s not going to give them back, you will report them as stolen along with anything else shes taken. A thief is a thief. And tell your brother that if doesn’t support you, than you will names him as an accomplice.
You’re not overreacting she’s repeatedly taking your belongings without permission, and now something expensive is missing. At this point, you need boundaries. Locking your door is a smart step. Also tell your brother clearly: if his girlfriend takes or loses your things, he’s responsible for replacing them. If she still doesn’t return your headphones soon, ask directly for them back or the money to replace them. It’s not about drama, it’s about respect for your property.
lock the door. ask for them back and to no longer borrow things. Tell you brother if the headphones dont make it back in a few days, he will be replacing them since it was his girlfriend who took them and without permission. Maybe go as far as that he will also be replacing anything else that grows legs going forward.
Confront them both and tell her she is not to touch your things again or you will report her to the police. Lock everything up in your room. And lock the door to it. Keep records of everything valuable that you have receipts etc to prove it is yours. She is an entitled little snot and has zero right to touch anything that belongs to someone else. Tell her this straight out.