My cat is going to die someday and I’m dying inside

r/

My sweet kitty is almost four. I only have six more years to enjoy her.

After that, she will be gone forever. I will never again touch her soft fur. I will never hear her little meow. I will never see her sweet face. She will be gone and I can never get her back.

The very thought of her not playing anymore or watching her having trouble moving or my needing to keep her warm, absolutely tears me up. I feel like I’m dying. This is all I can think about.

Comments

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  2. No_Purple4766 Avatar

    A well-taken care cat can live up to 18, sometimes more (they often develop disabilities after that, though). You’ll have plenty of time with kitty. When it’s time to go, they will let you well prepared for it.

  3. Calliope719 Avatar

    Ah. Unfortunately, everything in your life will come and go. Nothing will remain the same, as much as we wish it could.

    Just enjoy her while she’s here. You’ll lose each other some day, one way or another, but you can’t dwell on that.

    Don’t be sorry that it’s over -smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss

    All you can do is enjoy the time that you have while you have it.

  4. sandpiperinthesnow Avatar

    Why 6yrs? Did I miss something? If not, op my cat lived until she was 22yrs old. I was allergic to her. She slept in my bed… very allergic… I miss her every day. She was amazing. You have time. Lots of it. đŸ©·đŸŸ

  5. k5j39 Avatar

    First of all, me too. Second, my sweet girl is ten and still quite young and healthy. She’s only just starting to show any signs of being older at all. Cats live to be like 13-20 years old

  6. Ok_Juggernaut_Chill Avatar

    I had my childhood cat until she was nearly 21.

  7. JustbyLlama Avatar

    It is difficult to say goodbye to creatures (though I think you have many more than six years left with your beautiful girl). That’s the beauty and the difficulty of it. But we carry them with us wherever we go. They are little bright spots and we are lucky to have chosen to be their pet parent.

  8. JazmineRaymond Avatar

    My mom had a 16 year old cat and she was a terrible cat owner.

  9. boganpoetry Avatar

    I obsess over this very thing all the time, to the point where I feel like I’m wasting the time that I do have with her fretting about it. For me, it’s related to OCD and CPTSD. If it helps, my baby just turned ten in January, and shows no signs of slowing down. I have known some cats to live for twenty or more years.

  10. silvermanedwino Avatar

    Cats can live to 20. Don’t mourn her quite yet.

  11. scooterboog Avatar

    You need to talk to a therapist to explore why you’re obsessing over a young cat dying, and have the tough conversations you’re ignoring instead

  12. Elly_Fant628 Avatar

    My best friends had two cats who lived to be in their 20s. Admittedly at least one had health issues by the end that cost my friends a lot of money, attention and effort, but my friends didn’t have children, they both have secure government jobs, and they don’t have hobbies that involve going out.

    Therefore they had the time, money, and available attention.

    If you’re going to be looking at the end so hard you miss the middle, you’ll miss out on a lot of good memories. What memories you do have will be tinged with regret.

    You obviously love your cat, so find the positives and enjoy your time with her.

  13. TyphoidMary234 Avatar

    When my cat passed, I thought of this quote “don’t be sad for what is, be happy for what was”. Meaning, be happy that your cat had a good life, that you were a positive part of that cat’s life. That’s all you can ask for.

  14. Delicious_Word7235 Avatar

    I get how you feel because my brain does this to me, too. But some cats can live to really old.

    Just enjoy spending time with her. Focus on the love she gives you and you feel for her. Otherwise, you’re just going to drive yourself insane worrying about that.

  15. Striking_Teacher_811 Avatar

    I mean, I’ve seen plenty of cats on reddit that are at least 15+. While you can’t expect that much, 10 years is a very short life even for a cat, so a little early to mourn, imo.

    That said, my cat is 5 years old this summer and I’m already bitter that we can only have 15-17 more years at max, lol.

    I know how you feel. And yeah, it sucks. Sorry.

  16. Primary-Switch-8987 Avatar

    Ten used to be considered a senior cat but with the better food and healthcare options that we have now they live much longer.

    That being said, I felt the same way about my soul kitty. I’d be petting her and start crying because she was going to die someday. Hearing that I should make the most of our time together didn’t help. Sometimes I would cry until I stopped crying. Mostly, I would tell her that she was not allowed to die ever and she’d agree that was the best plan, even though we both knew it wasn’t true. But it usually made me feel better.

  17. ILiveOnAHillYEAH Avatar

    My beloved Shadow lived to be 19, care for your kitty and take proper care of them, as well as yourself, and you have many happy years together.

  18. JoulesJeopardy Avatar

    Don’t deny her. Give her your chicken and salmon and 17 dollar a pound cheese. Play with her and buy her new toys all the time. Get those pet screens put in the windows so she can safely breathe the outside air this spring. Spend the money on the highest quality freshest ingredients cat food; do that research.

    You’ll never regret a moment, or a penny, you soent.

  19. HannahsTimeIsOk Avatar

    I relate to this a lot and understand your pain so much, I feel the same way about my beautiful baby who is still young. I found some peace with some things I had read from other people in the past and I’ll try to remember accurately and hopefully it can bring you some peace as well.

    Your beautiful baby gets to spend their whole life being loved by you, you bare that burden of pain by knowing their lifespan is shorter than yours but you are brave and kind for taking them on as their owner. They won’t know pain or sadness, you show them love and take care of them every day and give them an amazing full life. It’s sad they pass on but they get to know love and safety their whole life because of us, and that makes it really worth it for me, knowing you get to be that for them.

  20. Doubt-Man Avatar

    Most cats live to be about 16, give or take a few years. If anything, you may have twice the time you think you have.

  21. Suspicious_Jeweler81 Avatar

    Our current cat is older than my oldest kid.. who is 12. He’s kicking around just fine at 13, running around the house, sleeping, being a cat. 10 years is still middle age for a cat.

  22. Ophelialost87 Avatar

    Some cats have lived to be 30. I got my first cat as an adult at the age of 21, and I am now 37. She is sleeping beside me right now. I know for a fact that her time is almost here. She’s now so blind she tried to eat my finger when I gave her a little bit of pawn (shrimp) earlier in the day. She walks like she’s in pain, and she’s lost a lot of weight. So I am very aware she only has a few more months left on this earth with me. After that, she will begin the next part of her journey, which is one I cannot follow her on, and it breaks me.

    Your cat will be with you for a lot longer than 10 years with a little luck, and if you take good care of them.

  23. red-joeysh Avatar

    Why only six more?

    My cat was 23 when she died. My other cat is 19.
    You have plenty of time with her.
    Just cherish it, make good memories, and love and be loved.

  24. PeachesSwearengen Avatar

    My cats throughout my life have all lived long lives! 16, 17, 19, and 23. Don’t borrow grief, dear.

  25. canadiuman Avatar

    I’ve had two older cats. One died at 13. The other will be 16 soon.

  26. FullyFunctionalCat Avatar

    My last cat lived to 19 and my MIL had two that were healthy well past 20. Love them as best you can. You might have them twice as long as you think. đŸ„Č I say my girl went to college.

  27. Killacreeper Avatar

    Don’t trust statistics alone.
    Note that there are a lot of irresponsible pet owners that drag average lifespans for pets down massively.
    If your cat is an indoor cat with proper space, not overfed + good diet, and goes to the vet every once in a while, they can live a VERY long time.
    Source – I had two cats since I was too young to remember, and they were both older than me until I was 20/21 (so just this last year or two)
    Our third boy is now entering/into his teens now and he’s healthier than ever, only now he’s got a voice of his own to scream at us for attention lol.

    Obviously tragedy can happen for anyone, cancer can come, etc. – I can’t guarantee that by doing anything right you can get 20 years with a cat, especially depending on species and area/living situation.
    But if you do it right you can certainly have the best chance possible 🙂

  28. QueenBitch1369 Avatar

    Ten years? That’s weird. Unless they get sick or hurt, most cats live a lot longer than that. I had a cat as a kid that lived to 26.

  29. flossdaily Avatar

    You don’t need an internet pep talk; you need to get yourself a therapist.

    Being driven to tears by obsessive thoughts of dread surrounding an even that may be 6-14 years away is quite a bit outside anything that can be considered healthy.

  30. shouldabeenarooster Avatar

    My daughter’s boyfriend just lost his 22 year old cat. 22 years! I get why you’re torturing yourself thinking about when you may not have him and that’s why you must be grateful for every moment. Every single moment. Even when they’re naughty and yell at you all night and keep you up constantly and fight amongst themselves under your bed and beg for food then not eat it and walk across your face in the dead of night all while being adorable, precious angels. My cats have this one toy that I find hilarious. The balls are heavy and they go around in a circle. It sounds exactly like someone playing pool. In the middle of the night. And then I just smile


  31. Nyteflame7 Avatar

    Most cats are still pretty active at 10.
    My only man cat Forrest made it to 16. My husband’s cat Emby made it to 18.
    Feed her well and keep up with her yearly appointments. Follow vet recommendations on vaccine schedules and flea and tick control.

    And, this shouldn’t be something consuming your thoughts like this. Your fear of what will happen some day is getting in the way of you enjoying your time with her now. Please consider speaking to a mental health professional so they can help you process these feelings. I recommend adding senior blood work to the yearly visit at about 10, to help you watch for things like diabetes or hyperthyroid, but cats do quite well as seniors, especially if they are indoor cats.

    My current oldest cat is 14. She’s still in good shape! She gets a daily allergy med, but otherwise is totally healthy. She still cuddles with us at night. She’s a bit more of a couch potato than she was as a youngster, less interested in climbing high places or opening all the cabinet doors, but she still plays with toys, smacks her younger siblings when they are acting like gremlins, and demands scratches from our DnD players.

  32. obooooooo Avatar

    cats can live for quite a long time. but the fact that she’ll go anyway is absolutely heartbreaking, yes.

    it offers no comfort but i’m the same as you. my baby girl will be 5 in a bit and she’s been the only reason i keep going/take care of myself many times—only so i can continue to experience the joy of taking care of her.

    last year she gave me a health scare, and i was very abruptly faced with the fact that she could be gone so soon. i came to the conclusion that nothing i could physically, possibly to could fight nature, but i can still try to make this little ray of sunshine as happy as she can be every day. i—we, can’t realistically give them more than that.

    i know for a fact that when she leaves me i won’t be able to be happy for quite a while. i’ve had pets before but none that i’ve had a connection like i’ve had with her. it sounds silly but she’s as vital to me as my own lung. so when she does finally leave, i’ll be horribly, horribly depressed, but i’ll have all those memories of her. and most importantly, i’ll know that i made her as happy as she made me. that she will go happily. that’s the only thing we can do.

    hug your kitty. take pics of her, cute ones, ugly ones. take videos. don’t spend the limited time you have with her mourning her, there will be plenty of time to do so when she’s gone. so use this precious time to enjoy your life with her 🙂

  33. katklaws77 Avatar

    My girl kitty will be 17 in a few days and she’s doing quite well.

  34. Eadiacara Avatar

    how do you figure she’ll only live to be 10? Is she an indoor cat? And do you only give filtered water (literally just get a brita)? All of those GREATLY increase cat life expectancy.

  35. OSCgal Avatar

    You need to talk to someone. Counselor, therapist, or at least a trusted friend.

    Loss of a pet is hard. I don’t look forward to losing my cats (the eldest is twelve, by the way) and I’ve felt a sort of anticipatory grief at the thought of losing them. But if this is affecting your life, then you need someone’s help to deal with it.

    Do you have anxiety? Do you normally struggle with obsessive thoughts?

  36. Crazyhowthatworks304 Avatar

    My old kitty died right before he turned 23 years old. He wasnt even supposed to live past a few months with a kidney disease diagnosis 2 years before he passed. I’m saying this so that you know 10 years is not the common M.O. for cats. Take care of your kitty. The thing I am doing differently with my two year old feline sons is giving them a healthy balance of dry and wet food. Cats don’t drink nearly as much water as they should! Another thing I did once my cat turned about 13? was give him daily joint supplements. I don’t know how old they should be for it but I think that did help prevent some arthritis, or at least, not as much as he could’ve had.

  37. that-Sarah-girl Avatar

    Every living thing you have ever loved and ever will love will die some day. The only thing we can do about it is enjoy our life with them while we can. And have a little faith that you’ll have lots of opportunities to love. Some day you’ll love a different pet just as much as you love this cat. Not a replacement. But your heart will be full. And you’ll love people you haven’t even met yet. You’ll love a movie you haven’t seen yet, a song you haven’t heard yet. The future has death in it. But it’s got lots of good stuff too.

  38. thechemist_ro Avatar

    Indoor cats live up to 20 years… the average is 14, I believe. You havw a good decade ahead of you.

  39. rickastleysanchez Avatar

    My cat is almost 19 years old. I’m honestly wondering if he is going to die. No matter what I am going to be broken afterwards. Almost 19 and of course he is showing age, but he jumps up and down from the couch no problem, I did get him steps for the bed though. He eats really well and stays pretty lean. He does have hazy eyes, but still has all his teeth.

    Cats can be stubborn and won’t die, so watch out.

  40. Voyager5555 Avatar

    6 more years? What are you doing to shorten her lifespan that much?

  41. Cocacola_Desierto Avatar

    I know this isn’t funny at all but I can’t help and laugh at you somehow just knowing they’re going to die in exactly 6 years, so much so that you can only enjoy her for 6 more years specifically. Like you’re 29 and your 5 year old kid says “My sweet mommy is almost 30. I only have 10 more years to enjoy her”.

    But yes, death is a part of life. It’s best not to dwell on this. Enjoy the time you have, for both you and your cat. I am sure you have at least another 10 or 15 years ahead of you with how much love and care you’ll be giving that cat.

  42. beigs Avatar

    I had a cat that we put down at 27. None of my cats were under 15 that we had to put down, and most were over 20. My kitty now is 15 and he’s as fluffy and soft as ever, the perfect companion.

    Hopefully they’ll be old and ready, and it will be sad, but it will be their time and you’ll both be okay with this. It is harder if they’re young, but that is always the case with any death.

    Enjoy the time you have now.

  43. S1159P Avatar

    My little love got cancer at the age of 9 and I still got to have him through to a ripe old age of 20.

    Don’t pre-grieve. Right now, you have her. So right now, enjoy her. No one is guaranteed tomorrow, and your cat doesn’t have an expiration date in six years. Right now, love your kitty.

    I must gently ask – is there a different great sorrow or fear in you that’s coming out as being about the cat?

  44. coast-modern Avatar

    I’ve had three cats make it to 20! A little luck and a lot of love. Try not to borrow grief from the future. ❀

  45. GirlCreator Avatar

    I just said goodbye to my cat today and she lived a long and wonderful 17 years. You have plenty of time before you even need to think about worrying about that. Make sure you take them for regular vet visits and keep savings set aside for any problems along the way. And when it’s time, more then likely you’ll know and be prepared to take on that grief. But you still have plenty of time. Don’t grieve for your baby while she’s still young and healthy, it’ll only serve to hurt you more than deserve ❀

  46. HadesIsCookin Avatar

    Some cats live up to 20. My childhood cat lived to 16, with no veterinary aid.

    Unless you’re planning on putting your cat down at 10 just because you’re a sociopath, then you’re just max overthinking.

  47. Charming-Bike-6289 Avatar

    You could have only 4 days. You are wasting now by worrying about a future that might not look like you are imagining. Stop.

  48. Voshai Avatar

    Many other have said this, but it’s very common for cats to live to be 16-18 years old. I’ve even heard of some cats making it to 20! But it’s very possible you’ll have your baby for much longer than just a decade.

  49. Specialist_End_750 Avatar

    Our cat Smokey lived for 23 years. Then a cat we call BoBo showed up at our door 2 months later. We did everything we could to find his owner but now he is our indoor cat. They call it the cat distribution system. More to love.

  50. FlareGER Avatar

    I can absolutely understand how you’re feeling, I have a small dog that’s 3.5 now and we have grown extremely attached to each other, I can’t even take a bath without him sitting next to me on top of the toilet like a cat.

    Sometimes those thoughts of future loss and fear get a hold of me too. It helps me to try and remember that

    For us, they are here just a fraction of our lives, but for them, we are there their entire lives. Aim to make their lives as beautiful and joyful as possible.

  51. aquilabyrd Avatar

    Cats can live to 18+ years; there have also been a ton of advancements in treating kidney issues in cats, lately, so by the time she is older she might be able to benefit from those and live even longer! No user worrying about it now and suffering twice – now and when she does eventually pass.

  52. kylegordon Avatar

    Love her and appreciate her. She will only ever know your love, all her life.

    Cats can live to 20+ years. Ours did. Hang onto the fact they know you love them so much.

  53. Ancom_J7 Avatar

    hey, if you take care of your cat, she could live well over 20 years. the oldest cat to ever live made it to 38. dont worry so much.

  54. PurpleMyst22 Avatar

    I’m on the side of most comments reassuring you cats can live a lot longer than just 10 🙂 one of my boys hit ten last week and he is just as silly and active as he was 5 years ago

  55. aquila-audax Avatar

    You really need to stop fixating on pain you might feel 10 or more years into the future and learn to enjoy the here and now.

  56. Lee30112004 Avatar

    Hey, I know the idea is scary, and it feels like when that happens the world will stop turning. It could be fear of change or the unknown, or simply that prospect of grief is too much to bare. But you will survive it when it comes.

    I was about 13 when I had to put my first cat down. I noticed during the night that he wasn’t acting normal and I had a gut instinct that told me this was it. So I got my parents, showed them the behaviour changes and insisted they called a vet to look at him, while I gave him extra treats and cuddles. It was kidney failure, very common in older cats, and it was for the best that we ended his suffering then rather than wait.

    The grief did hurt us all. We all wondered if we had done something wrong, could it have been different. Every time we didn’t fill the food bowl felt unnatural, and the lack of deranged scratching during the night was more unsettling than I think any of us could have imagined. But most importantly, the grief showed us another type of love. A love done by remembering our loved ones, supporting each other through tough emotions, and laughing upon the good memories that we share. And when we were ready to welcome 2 more furry psychos into our house, the grief paved a way to honour him in loving this next set of rescue kitties and creating new memories.

    All this to say that when it does happen, it will hurt. It may feel like you’re stumbling blindly in the dark to an endpoint that you don’t know exists. But the grief will teach you to love more deeply as well. The world will keep turning. And you will come out a different, but just as worthy and valuable person.

    Although it has been many years, I still remember Tilky, the paw shaped imprint on my heart has never really left. And though I still feel sad from time to time that he isn’t physically present with me, I am more than happy that he knew he was loved and lived a good life.

    So treasure the moments you have with this kitty, no amount of worrying will give you more time. And know that when the time does come, you will have given your cat the best life it could have ever imagined, full of love, safety and warmth.

  57. No-Cardiologist8049 Avatar

    We have a 20 year old cat, almost 21, an 18 year old, and two 14 year olds, everyone is fine.

  58. orangecatpunk Avatar

    I was same way about my sweet orange tabby and then he developed oral cancer. I had no idea I had it in me to let him go, until I had to. We take on the immense pain of grief so they don’t have to suffer.

    Enjoy her while she’s here. Be thankful she’s yours and practice gratitude every day. You sound like an incredible cat parent and I know she is so grateful to be yours. <3

  59. DiscountSoggy6990 Avatar

    My cat spent the first few years of his life a stray in the streets and still ended up living to 16. Feed your cat good quality food and keep it active and healthy. If it’s indoor, you’re likely to have more time than that barring some serious issue.

  60. DiscountSoggy6990 Avatar

    My cat spent the first few years of his life a stray in the streets and still ended up living to 16. Feed your cat good quality food and keep it active and healthy. If it’s indoor, you’re likely to have more time than that barring some serious issue.

  61. IntrinsicM Avatar

    Maybe 6 years, or 16 years, or 6 days.
    Nothing is promised.

    Take a lesson from our animal friends and live in the present. Your pet isn’t thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, they are just here with you today. Have as many good “todays” as you can.

  62. Dagaroth1985 Avatar

    I mean, yes your cat will die. But if it makes you feel better, we all die. Everyone kicks the bucket one day. All that differs is time and place. So don’t stress too much, after your cat passes, you will be that much closer yourself.

  63. Echterspieler Avatar

    You have longer than 10 years. My one cat is almost 10 now and is showing no signs of slowing down. Many cats live well into their teen years. My last one lived to see 19

  64. Signal-Reflection296 Avatar

    My sister had a cat live until 20 yo!

  65. therackage Avatar

    Why do you think she’ll only make it to 10? Most indoor cats can live to around 18, some longer.

  66. RedditIsBrainRot69 Avatar

    This is a reality of life and isn’t exclusive to your cat. This is one of those realities you HAVE to learn to deal with and not regularly think about. Everything you love will eventually die. It’s just how the world works.

  67. Kiki-Y Avatar

    I know these feelings all too well because I just lost my boy on Saturday. He was nearly 14. He hadn’t been eating much the week prior and I’ve been beating myself up for not taking him to the vet. I thought it was just stress because everything was in flux. We had to rush to change the basement around and clean it out because my brother needed to move in.

    I cam home on Saturday night after hanging out with a friend and learned my family had found him just dead out of the blue. They didn’t tell me sooner because they didn’t want me driving distraught.

    I want him back so badly. I never thought I’d miss him being a pain in the butt and begging for food twice a day pretty much everyday.

    Treasure your time with your cat.

  68. Gloomy_Obligation333 Avatar

    wtf
.. why do you think she’ll be dead at 10?

  69. otte_overlord Avatar

    Idk man, my cat is 14. You never know.

  70. empathic-art Avatar

    What you are experiencing is called anticipatory grief. You are grieving your cat’s loss at least six years too soon. I understand this because my husband died 6 months after his cancer diagnosis. I drove myself nearly into collapse thinking of life without him.
    This robs you of the joy with your cat in the here and now. The stray orange tabby that showed up at my house was 3 or 4. We had her for almost 12 years.
    Loss is hard, but living in fear of it robs your life of joy.
    As far as mental health. I have OCD, anxiety, depression and I’m ADHD. So I understand, and I’m using skills I’ve learned through therapy to deal with many of the above issues.
    Be gentle with yourself.

  71. rocketmanatee Avatar

    My cat is 20.

    She won’t live forever of course,but with good care she’ll have many years ahead!
    Keep her inside, feed her high quality, grain free food, and she’ll probably be around for years to come!

  72. MadMadamMimsy Avatar

    Why only 10 years? We get 16 to 17 from most of ours.

    Even if that is the case, live for now. Mourning them while they are still here is wasting time better spent with your sweet furbaby.

    Anxiety is a byotch. There are good counselors that can help, because it only gets worse if left to itself

  73. Ok-Banana-7777 Avatar

    The cat I had growing up lived to be 26 & my mom never took her to the vet. Cats can be hardy. That said I understand the feeling. My soul dog turns 10 this year. He’s perfectly healthy but his features are aging. It’s hard to imagine my life without him in it & his mortality has been weighing heavy on me lately.

  74. lysistrata3000 Avatar

    I’m confused as to where you got the idea that cats only live to 10??? I’ve had multiple cats live beyond 15 years. They have all been indoor cats however. If your cat receives regular vet care, there’s no reason it shouldn’t live past 10.

  75. dngnb8 Avatar

    Mine lived till the 16

  76. dw0r Avatar

    Please don’t kill your cat just because she turns 10, that’s incredibly cruel. If you have already decided to get rid of her at the age of 10 please re-home her immediately so that she may live the rest of her life with someone that cares for her.

  77. GuiltyCredit Avatar

    My little old lady made it to 16. No matter how long they are with us, it’s never long enough.

  78. Historical-Badger259 Avatar

    So yes, your kitty will die someday
 but has a decent chance of living past 10, so don’t stress! I have two cats, one that is nearly 18 and still going strong, and another that is 13 and still healthy and spry.

    Things happen, of course, just like with people. I had a really beloved cat that died around 9 of cancer. The best thing you can do is cherish the time you have with your furry friend, and be glad you have her in your life.

  79. MCH550 Avatar

    I had a cat live 18 years passed a month away from 19 (Indoor), my grandma had one live up to 24 (both indoor/outdoor).

  80. aphroditex Avatar

    I had a lovely kitten, Eris, four years ago. Adopted him during Covid. He died of a birth defect at around 4mo.

    It was brutal. Eris was such a lovely kitten even if he did have issues. And I cried for days.

    But I know I made his life as good as I could make it. I did good by him.

    And yes I miss the little monster.

    But the scars fade even if they never go completely away.

    And now I’ve got Cuddles, a farm cat that comes and goes as he pleases. I take care of him and he is very affectionate towards me. He literally pops up on his back legs and leans into a window when he sees me coming. And he gets the biggest grin on his face when I come with a treat or to refill his bowl.

  81. charleschaser Avatar

    My cats are both 10 and they’re fine. I think you have a few more years of kitty life before you start freaking out