My child bravely disclosed abuse. Her stepdad was arrested and charged, but instead of protecting her, the court is punishing me — and I’m terrified for what this means for her.

r/

I don’t know where else to put this, so I need to get it off my chest.

I’m a dad who is being fined in family court for protecting my child after she bravely disclosed abuse. Her stepdad has been arrested and formally charged with Sexual Misconduct with a Minor under Indiana law. Despite that, her mom — who is a licensed medical doctor — has testified in court that she does not believe the abuse happened and continues to stand by him.

What breaks me most is the timeline. My daughter told her mom about the abuse long before I ever knew. Instead of reporting it or protecting her, her mom kept it quiet. For more than a year I was left in the dark, while my children were still being left around the man she said had hurt her

By the time I learned the truth, so much damage had already been done. And when I finally stepped up to protect her, the court system turned on me. Instead of being supported, I was fined and dragged into endless legal battles.

I feel like I’m living in a nightmare where protecting my own child has been treated like a crime. She deserves to be safe, believed, and protected. I will never stop fighting for her.

Comments

  1. SceptileStrik Avatar

    Try to get custody of your child, and honestly your in a rough patch
    But hey, your a hero, good job stepping up for your daughter, and I pray that she will be safe

  2. CanAhJustSay Avatar

    Yours is the voice your daughter needs to hear. Even though it might feel like you are shouting justice into a void, yours is the voice that tethers your child to hope.

    You are her voice and her route to justice. She will remain your priority. Your ex is blinded and perhaps wilfully ignorant, but your daughter still has you in her corner. Courts are blinkered to keeping chldren with their mom (especially if she has main custody) but evidence piles up and the tide will turn.

    Sending you an internet hug because this is going to feel like such an uphill battle. But it takes just one little candle to light the way through the darkness. You are your daughter’s light, and you’ll get her through this.

  3. 70sBurnOut Avatar

    Petition to have a GAL assigned to your daughter immediately. It’s unfortunate that even with an arrest, your teen is being forced to visit her mother, who continues to believe the abuser, and that the judge is failing to act in the child’s best interests. Often, a third party professional, like a GAL, can persuade the court where a parent cannot.
    As far as the fines, I would appeal—but that takes money.

  4. Puzzleheaded-Ask-157 Avatar

    You are a superb father and your daughter will NEVER forget you being there for her.
    I think in true Reddit style you need to “lawyer up”

  5. Feeling-Fab-U-Lus Avatar

    Think about going to the media, as you shouldn’t be put through this. They should concentrate on making your daughter’s life better and putting the step dad away.

  6. fingersonlips Avatar

    Your ex is a mandated reporter by virtue of her profession. I’d report her to her licensing board for failure to report.

  7. DeadpanWords Avatar

    If mom is a licensed physician, you could file a complaint with the medical board in the state(s) she practices in. She is a mandatory reporter, and she failed to do that.

  8. Appropriate_Speech33 Avatar

    Was CPS involved at all? If so, I’d try to get any records that they have. It may help you in court.

    I’m sorry this is happening. I worked for CPS die years and this kind of behavior isn’t uncommon.

  9. General_Road_7952 Avatar

    I’m not sure about Indiana, but I know of some people who were able to get their children emancipated by having them get married (on paper), which only required one parent’s signature, along with a judge’s approval.

  10. Ginger630 Avatar

    I agree with the comments to report your ex wife. She is a mandated reporter.

  11. herdofcorgis Avatar

    In Indiana, any adult is a mandated reporter, you could report your ex-wife to the medical board (healthcare providers take courses yearly about being mandated reporters).

  12. serg82 Avatar

    There is a ton of missing information here. Don’t follow any advice you’re getting here, only follow the advice of an attorney that you’re being completely honest with and if familiar with the evidence in your case

  13. PoeticAphrodite Avatar

    Have you tried suing the mom and state?

  14. Ebluez Avatar

    Don’t ever give up. It will be hard at times and seem impossible at others, but you will make it. Listen to your lawyer, find a support group if possible and seek counseling. Your child will carry the scars her entire life, but when she sees you fighting for her, she won’t be alone.