So my mum fosters kids. she only does respite for them, however. (Meaning when the regular caregivers get sick of the kids, they dump them on us.) Everyone thinks that because she gives temporary homes to foster kids, she’s an amazing person. Honestly, I thought that too. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my mum. But having kids with behavioral issues and mental disorders come and go in our house as a kid made me constantly scared.
There have been many instances where a kid was going through a mental breakdown and attacked my mother, my siblings, and me. Yet she still takes them in. Why, you might ask? The money… that’s it. The only reason she fosters is that she can make me and my two other siblings babysit them or “befriend” them so she can sit down all day and do absolutely nothing. But ever since my older sister moved out, it’s only been me. I cannot take this anymore. I can barely handle my own mental health, but now I’ve got a foster kid who’s gone through hell to look after. I’ve been doing this since I was 9. Hearing them scream and break things because they have to shower every night is terrifying. Every single time there’s been a family holiday or something like that, a foster kid has been there.
Every single year since I was 9, I’ve had to sit and watch kids I don’t know open presents that I was made to wrap because guess what? Mum’s too tired from all the kids “she” has to look after.
One time, one of the kids who was about three years younger than me snuck into my room and shaved the sides of my head with a razor and cut huge chunks of my hair. I had to get it cut to my ears because of it, and this may not seem like a big deal to my mother, but to 14-year-old me, it felt like I got turned ugly in just a few seconds. Another time, one of the 14-year-old boys we were fostering came into my room when I was 11 and asked if he could see my undies. Then he proceeded to stick his hands down my pants. (You can guess what’s happened next I’m not gonna go into detail) And what did my Mum say? “He doesn’t know any better; he was r-worded as a kid.”
And there’s been multiple times where the foster kid has told me in gruesome details about what they went through. Hearing about the awful things that happened to the kids at a young age was also something that totally messed me up. I know this makes me a horrible person, and I get that it’s not there fault they’re in foster care. But I just wish my mum wasn’t a foster carer. It’s completely ruined who I am as a person and my childhood.
SO PLEASE! IF YOU ALREADY HAVE KIDS, DO NOT FOSTER OTHER KIDS UNLESS YOU TALK TO YOUR OWN KIDS FIRST AND PLAN ON TREATING THEM LIKE YOUR OWN!!
(Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes I’m typing this on my bed while crying. I did try and go back and fix it)
Comments
Im not sure which country you’re in but you need to contact child services immediately and get help. She’s not fit to foster and you don’t deserve to go through this.
This was my husband’s experience with his parents doing foster care. Some of the bio kids in the family already had high needs and it just made everything so chaotic, it was like mom felt better helping these new kids. She kept it up and she couldn’t even meet new grandkids out of state and such for years until she quit. I always romanticized it, but he is a firm no on ever fostering. She is a really kind and hard working person, but foster care is rough.
Why do you adore the woman who explained away your sexual assault as “he was raped so it’s okay that he assaulted you?”