Based on what you’ve written, you try really hard to understand other people and to be nice. You are now learning the hard way that this will not serve you in life.
Your ex didn’t get the way he is mysteriously – the type of control his parents are exhibiting to you created an insecure, unmotivated individual. They will repeat the pattern with your child given the opportunity.
The good news is that in most places, custody will not be removed from a mother absent abuse or neglect. The bad news is, it will cost money, time and energy to fight their nonsense.
You need the baddest most aggressive attorney you can find. These people need to be shut down now, and hard. It should go without saying that their access to your child should be reduced to zero, yesterday. If you’ve been advised otherwise, get a second opinion. They’re not going for grandparents rights (if those are even a thing in your state) they’re going for custody. They get no access from here on out. Because when they lose – and they will – they will pivot to a campaign to alienate your child from you. And that is lifelong damage to both you and your child. They can never be trusted again. Ever. No matter how much they apologize, beg, whine or wheedle. Never ever let them around your child again. And if your ex comes skulking around, it will be because his parents are manipulating or outright bribing him to do so in order for them to have access. Make him go to court and get an order for every minute of visitation/custody. It’s likely to be very limited given how little he has been involved, and the court will (or should) require him to jump through significant hoops to have access to your child again – and it should be a significant part of your defense that he is only doing so at that point because of his parents, that they are using him as a proxy. Have it made clear that your child is not to be around his parents during his visitation. Once his parents realize that they can’t get your child through him, they will stop bribing him and he will go away again.
You’re trying so hard to be a good mom, and to become a person who can support their child on their own. And with the help of your family, you’re doing a great job! Don’t let these people steal your child, or your peace, your motivation, or your success. In the future, be a little more skeptical about people’s intentions. Don’t ignore red flags. Don’t worry about being nice. Protect yourself and your child and the rest of your family first and foremost. Wishing you the best of luck!
Comments
Based on what you’ve written, you try really hard to understand other people and to be nice. You are now learning the hard way that this will not serve you in life.
Your ex didn’t get the way he is mysteriously – the type of control his parents are exhibiting to you created an insecure, unmotivated individual. They will repeat the pattern with your child given the opportunity.
The good news is that in most places, custody will not be removed from a mother absent abuse or neglect. The bad news is, it will cost money, time and energy to fight their nonsense.
You need the baddest most aggressive attorney you can find. These people need to be shut down now, and hard. It should go without saying that their access to your child should be reduced to zero, yesterday. If you’ve been advised otherwise, get a second opinion. They’re not going for grandparents rights (if those are even a thing in your state) they’re going for custody. They get no access from here on out. Because when they lose – and they will – they will pivot to a campaign to alienate your child from you. And that is lifelong damage to both you and your child. They can never be trusted again. Ever. No matter how much they apologize, beg, whine or wheedle. Never ever let them around your child again. And if your ex comes skulking around, it will be because his parents are manipulating or outright bribing him to do so in order for them to have access. Make him go to court and get an order for every minute of visitation/custody. It’s likely to be very limited given how little he has been involved, and the court will (or should) require him to jump through significant hoops to have access to your child again – and it should be a significant part of your defense that he is only doing so at that point because of his parents, that they are using him as a proxy. Have it made clear that your child is not to be around his parents during his visitation. Once his parents realize that they can’t get your child through him, they will stop bribing him and he will go away again.
You’re trying so hard to be a good mom, and to become a person who can support their child on their own. And with the help of your family, you’re doing a great job! Don’t let these people steal your child, or your peace, your motivation, or your success. In the future, be a little more skeptical about people’s intentions. Don’t ignore red flags. Don’t worry about being nice. Protect yourself and your child and the rest of your family first and foremost. Wishing you the best of luck!
Sounds like you should sue for child support