The title pretty much sums up my situation. I’m 33 (male) and my coworker is 27 (female) let’s call her Jane. Jane and her husband John are having some problems this is because John has been caught having a 4 month affair with some other woman by Jane. I just assumed they would get a divorce but no. John has stated that he will do anything to save their marriage including giving her a hall pass to sleep with anyone any time. Jane decided that she wanted me to be her hall pass. She approached me last Friday and explained the situation to during lunch. She said she’s picking me because one her husband knows who I am and it would hurt him when she tells him it was me. I told her she was crazy and that I wasn’t going to sleep with her because 1. I’m in a relationship myself and 2. I don’t want to get involved with her drama. She said she was going to tell her husband that she and I had relations anyway. I spoke with my girlfriend about it and she helped me write an email to HR just in case her husband comes to my job. I’m not asking for advice I just needed to vent I’m pretty sure that everything will work itself out
Update
HR called me into a meeting to discuss my email before lunch. It’s basically boiling down to he said she said. My coworker said I asked her to sleep with me but had no proof. So HR has documented both of our statements and will keep an eye on the situation. They advised me to not be alone with her and to only communicate through text or Email. I haven’t seen her today or yesterday (Monday). I think she is avoiding me which I am fine with. I will update if anything happens
Comments
Sounds like you’ve got it handled
nice!
HR and telling your gf was the right call here. That is a crazy situation to say the least.
You did the right thing, it’s crazy that your coworker thought this was an appropriate conversation to have with you. incase she emails or texts you, you should keep that with you as evidence/proof.
That was the best decision. The last thing you need is everyone believing that you are having an affair with your coworker.
I think you did the right thing, but would also add, you might want to ratchet up your security and situational awareness outside of work. This sounds like it could easily veer into some crazy shit, if this guy goes unhinged. Hopefully she doesn’t know where you live, etc. Sucks that you are getting sucked into this drama through no fault of your own.
Good luck then. That chick is crazy AF.
Smart move, by her, he’ll just shoot you when he finds out
You obviously handled this correctly. But wow, imagine being chosen to be someone’s hall pass. What an honor.
Good job. Don’t shit where you eat.
Yuck. Yes definitely inform HR. CYA. You’re smart to not get involved in her ridiculous drama.
Under no circumstances, do it no good will come out of it and could cost you your job because I’m willing to bet that your place of employment has a rule about employees seeing each other out of work. The next thing I would suggest is that you go to HR and tell him that you were uncomfortable with the situation what’s going on or you can make an appointment sit down and talk to your boss and tell her that you will not do this, and that if she continues, this, you will be forced to go to HR and report her in fact, I would you even go as far as recording the conversation as proof of what she has said to you and then, if she says anything to HR, you can play back to recording of the conversation and let them know that you were not the instigator of it. Your boss does not sell an emotionally well in this she is doing things for revenge. You need to cover your ass on this one.
Update me
Get HR involved and tell your gf. This can escalate drastically and very fast
That’s one hell of a lunch conversation at work, wtaf.
Holy! She was going to lie that you guys were having a relationship when it’s not true, that’s unhinged! And for her to be so nonchalant about it. You dodged a bullet.
Both his coworker and her husband are going to come after him and not for a 3some
I’d take that letter to HR right now
i hope she gets her lick back but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s an idiot
Well, that relationship is over. You made the perfect choice, OP.
You did the right thing OP. No one wants to be involved in other people’s drama. You don’t need someone going after you because their partner is trying to get back at them.
Amazingly this feels like someone saying “I need your blood please for my project” while holding a knife.
No thanks, get someone else’s blood
She’ll tell him it was you
You need to go to HR now. Do not wait. You have to get in front of something like this. It could get her fired, and I feel bad about that, but she shouldn’t be involving unwilling people in her personal drama, especially people from work. You need to cover your ass now.
You handled that like a king. Respecting your relationship, staying professional, and protecting yourself that’s how real maturity looks. Some people want to drag others into their mess, but you chose peace over drama. Major respect.
Log everything, even the date and time you had the lunch convo.
You’ve done the right thing I believe. Nothing wrong with holding information unless needed.
NO! full stop.
Period finally someone who is not dumb and handles things.
Hmmm. You probably did the right thing but I wouldn’t necessarily shut the door on this opportunity. How attractive is she..if she is going to say it happened anyway, idk. Maybe.
Well that just got messier and messier.
You done, good, son.
This would have violated several of the immortal laws:
don’t be a ho
don’t be disloyal
share everything with your partner
don’t stick your dick in crazy
don’t shit where you eat
if you want to be part of some drama, join a theater company
Consider hiring a lawyer because the coworker is already trying to spin the narrative to make you the bad guy with the whole he said, she said issues. She’s trying to drag you down
Be careful, I assume you are in North America. Laws are in women favour don’t be surprise if a pink slip comes to you
Wow, sounds like she’s set to loose her marriage and her job
Sexual harassment.
WTF!!? ALL BAD! With all honesty bro… i hope you keep your job. Companies are so litigious and try to avoid litigious situations that may cost them money!
They may find it easier to just let YOU BOTH GO! pending a possibility of future legal problems
I would have told her she can say we did and it will cost her $200.
You don’t want no part of that, Ricky Bobby.
It’s nice to read one of these where OP had the good sense to handle this well before coming to Reddit to post about it.
I would stay AS FAR as possible away from your coworker as possible.