i have been concerningly underweight for several years. my dad has always expressed how he was extremely worried for my health and desperately wanted me to gain weight. he made me realize how unhealthy my weight was and his concern touched me and motivated me to improve my dietary habits. i talked to a nutritionist (who agreed that i should gain weight for my health) and they helped me improve my eating habits.
i reached the goal weight my nutritionist set for me and i was very proud of myself. i felt better health wise, have more energy now, and have noticed physical improvements.
now my dad is calling me fat, and never misses a chance to make disparaging remarks about how the weight i gained was distributed throughout my body.
i can’t win.
thanks for reading.
Comments
As long as you start doing things for you and not others, you’ll be fine
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He never cared about your health. He’s just the type of person that wants to tear others down to make himself feel bigger. You’ve been underweight, and you’ve been a healthy weight, and if you became overweight you’d get called fat too. So no matter what weight you are, he’ll always look for a way to insult you. There’s no pleasing some people. They just love to hurt and hate and if it’s not one thing, it’s another. I highly recommend not taking his advice on, or paying any attention to his opinions on your body. Period. Not your hair, skin, teeth, etc. Because he’s never going to be satisfied. There is no satisfaction to be had except when he’s making you feel worthless
Your pops has issues. Calling someone fat is LOW CLASS, BAD MANNERS. He should be encouraging his child to be healthy, not demean the child. He’s the child. Tell him to back off and use some of that lionness in you and tell him you don’t want to hear anymore of this fat shaming nonsense.
Your dad is a POS. Tell him I said it too.
First of all, I am incredibly proud of you that you reached your goal weight. Many people do not realize how difficult it is to gain weight, equally to losing it. I know it was a tough experience for you, I am proud of you that you were able to reach your goal weight. Congratulations!!!
Second of all, my father is in a similar way but telling me the opposite of yours, which is calling me fat forever. He has not changed his way since I was 6. He had put me on diets since I was 7. I’m now in my late 20s, working out consistently, building visible muscle, and he still calls me fat every time I meet him. What I’m trying to say with this is, they will never change, unfortunately. Body shamers are just people with extreme insecurities that do not have the guts to face it themselves.
So, I assume you already do OP, but keep your head high and be proud of what you have worked through and accomplished. You are way cooler than your dad and don’t let others make you think in any other way.
I’m sorry. Your dad’s behavior is absolutely disgusting. I hope you show him this post after enough people have commented on it. He desperately needs a reality check. What a jerk.
Your dad clearly has some issues regarding how he interprets health/looks/relations (and clearly how he express shit) that’s not your job to deal with.
Idk how your dynamics are normally, idk how he functions socially at all – I just know that someone saying these contradicting things have something going on. Wether it’s pure lack of knowledge, personal distress lashed out at the wrong person, manipulative behaviour, drug abuse or early frontal lobe dementia – the answer is the same. The problem is not you.
If he’s behaving like this at all times, I’d personally make some solid distance. If this is new, I’d be curious to find out wtf is going on in his life that makes him this irrational. Whatever you do, take care and be proud of yourself.
I’m proud of you for achieving your goal and setting yourself up for a healthier life.
And I’m the opposite of that for your Dad in his achieving his ‘POS father of the year’ nomination.
Dont listen to him, there is no rule you have to keep the family that biology gave you. Find some people who support you for you and make then your persons instead.
Call him on his shit. “I thought you wanted me healthy. If you don’t stop commenting on my body you won’t see me again.” Set the boundary, with a consequence you can manage, and when he doesn’t listen deploy. Note my script is based on what it took for my parents to stop doing this and is the nuclear option. Adjust for your life. They did far worse than fuck with my mind about my body image. You deserve better and he is not owed access to you to be verbally abusive. This is that btw
Your dad is toxic, sorry
You didn’t do anything wrong. You did everything right.
You listened to your body. You listened to your doctor. You worked your ass off to heal yourself, inside and out.
The problem isn’t your weight — it’s your dad’s toxic, shifting goalposts. When you were underweight, he made you feel like you were dying. Now that you’re healthier, he’s making you feel like you’ve “gone too far.” That’s not love. That’s control.
I know it hurts like hell when someone whose opinion mattered used to be love, and now feels like a weapon. But his words don’t get to override your truth.
You are stronger, healthier, more powerful than you were before — and if he can’t celebrate that, then fuck his approval. Be proud anyway.
You won, even if he refuses to clap.