Hi everyone,
I need your opinion and advice about something.
My dad was friends with this guy for 20 years. They were really close! That friend used to come over to our house a lot with his wife.
So here’s what happened: the friend and his wife had some big argument and decided to get a divorce. I don’t know exactly why. But after the divorce, my dad saw an opportunity to connect with the wife, and he did—so now he’s basically together with her.
He told his friend “sorry, we can’t be friends anymore” and started acting really cold towards him so the friend would back off. My dad never had the guts to just be honest and tell him what was going on. He just lied to push him away. That made me so angry that I distanced myself from my dad, because where I come from, you just don’t do that kind of thing.
After like 3 or 4 months, the friend found out the truth and actually hit my dad. He told him, “You can’t do something like this, especially lying to my face so you could go behind my back. What kind of friend throws away a friendship over some woman? And you didn’t even have the balls to be honest about it!”
My dad still keeps lying and acts like nothing happened.
This friend knows me well too (we almost became business partners once, but my dad messed that up for us). He called me and said, “You’re a man of integrity, please come with me to confront your father.”
I don’t know what to do. Reddit, help me. I’m someone who really values honesty and justice, and to me, he’s not my father anymore. But at the same time, it’s hard for me to completely turn my back on family… Even though I know my dad wouldn’t think twice about turning his back on me, I still feel torn about choosing the friend’s side.
I just told them to please leave me out of it, because this whole situation is too much for me to get involved in.
What would you do? Feel free to ask me any questions.
Comments
I don’t think you should confront him, he could get worse or just pretend he doesn’t know what you are talking about. Talk to the girl he is trying to get with. Make her realise that it might be TOO early to get into a relationship, and that she might not be making the right decision. Have you considered your dad is AWARE of this and that is why he is trying to make a move? Not just because she is recently divorced but because she is VULNERABLE.
You don’t have to choose sides seems to me.
I’d probably just keep status quo with my dad, seems like this isn’t out of character for him.
I think you should tell your dad’s (former, I suppose) friend that this really isn’t any of your business, and you don’t want to get involved.
The whole thing is a hot mess. But that’s a decision that your dad and the friend’s ex-wife chose to make. There’s no fixing it from the outside.
Good lord, you don’t want to get pulled into the middle of that. And you are not the parent here to try and stop the squabbling. This is going to go where its going to go. Let it be. (Unless the friend has a gun.)
I’d stay out of it.
You don’t know what your dad’s friend did prior to the divorce.
You don’t know what your dad’s gf told him his friend did prior to the divorce.
Just stay out of it.
I’d mind my own business
Family are the people who are there for you no matter what! Blood means nothing if they are not there for you, if they have no integrity or are always lying to you!
I’d maybe talk to dad and just let him know your concerns about it and how it makes you feel. If that’s not something you think would be useful then I’d agree with most others and stay out of it.