This is my first time posting here and I don’t know if it belongs but I need to say it somewhere. Im 24f and I still live at home with my parents. I have a boyfriend of almost 4 years and he came over to see me, which isn’t something new. I usually go out to his car and we sit and talk for a while. When we were saying our goodbyes he hugged me, picked me up, and placed me on the trunk of his car. Well my dad saw this so when I went inside he immediately started asking me if I thought I looked acting like that outside? People will think I’m easy. When my boyfriend leaves me what will they think. And a bunch of stuff like that basically saying that I don’t look like a decent women I look “ easy” and if I’m ok with being perceived in that way. My dad is an immigrant and very much has old fashioned views but it’s not something I would ever think he would say about me.
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I’m so sorry you have a misogynistic dad :(..Just because he’s an immigrant doesn’t mean it’s right to hold these views.
There are cultures where public displays of affection are very much frowned on, and that includes public physical contact between the sexes.
By itself that’s no more harmful than the varying cultural rules on how close to someone you should stand when talking to them.
However, your father saying you are cheap and trashy for breaking those arbitrary rules is a problem. Just let him know that you’re not in the old country any more and nobody pays any attention to an innocent huh. Remind him that he left the old country for a reason and it’s a package deal.
Move out.
Sorry your dad hates women. Just work towards moving out.
Is it really that shocking that immigrant parents don’t have liberal social ethics. Hell most countries are conservative and even high income countries with democratic values are still socially conservative and highly judgmental and patriarchal.
Your dad is sexualizing you. Why is he blaming you for your bf’s actions? If consensual affection is wrong and “easy” to him, then he has disturbing views. What does he want? For men to pursue you against your wishes? For you to fight off men’s advances, then finally submit after being worn down? Is your mom okay?
The problem is you still live at home, so whatever you or anyone else thinks of your parents views won’t change the fact that you’re reliant on them and they have a certain control over you. It’s within your fathers or mothers right to criticize you for behavior they deem inappropriate, especially if it’s happening outside of their home.
“Probably that my father is proud that he raised a strong woman secure in her feelings….I guess they are wrong”