My dad doesn’t believe in me and so do I

[excuse the typos, and mind that this is long and to vent out, so if you don’t want to read, that is completely fine, not only, I siggest you not to read 🤣 anyway, thank you for reading till here💗 have a great day]
Premise: We are in culture where family bond is strong and my dad was the caretaker of his own family (both for his greater brother and their parents).
He is imprisoned in this father-like protective figure that makes him want to prevent any hurt from me, to the point that he didn’t let me try pursue my plan A which was studying a language in another city (far 6 hours if train)’s university.
To give you more context, I am an only child, female, I never really got out of my city area, especially after I got a bad experience during a middle school trip.
He even chose the type of high school I’d attend (I know in America every High school has almost the same subject, but in my country they are specilized in different secontors). I wanted to attend a linguistic one, but he wanted me to attend a scientific one.
Okay, let’s do your way, you know better.
The only thing that kept going through those years of stress (extreme during the last years) was my dream to go to that country whose language I wanted to study at university (and even started to study by myself since middle school).
When he called me saying that a teacher was organized a open day for one of our city’s university faculty (in which I had no interest) I told him: “That faculty what!? I wanna go study in country I had interest in.
His response was – I think I cannot forget it ever – he didn’t talkt to me for an entire week, and he never did that, and when he happened to look at me he had all the evil in his eyes.
After that week that powerful desire of mine that kept me going vanished for a lot of years till now (when I am trying to resolve my problems with a professional who brought this up again).

After the latest session, I tried to speak to my father asking him why he didn’t let me try doing that experience. We yelled at each other for an hour, and the conclusion was that he doesn’t believe that I can’t live all by myself because it is difficult.
More context: they always did everything to me, that is my disgrace, they lead me to being incapable of being indipendent, and only the recent years I am tryna revolve that.
He lead me to attend a university he thought would be the ideal for me (for him). I tried. My body left me after one month, where I felt sick and started crying as soon as I stepped home. Everyday.
I chose to choose another university in our city, something that I felt I would like and would be sustainable to attend.
But, discussing with my therapist, it appears that I didn’t really choose what I truly desire, which was studying that language.
When I briught this up today, after the session, we discussed, we yelled and we found no middle ground. The only thing that I found again is that my dad doesn’t believe in me and, as he is my column, my reference and all, this means that I reflect what he says, and so I neither believe in myself. And I obviously suffer for that, having scary thoughts that I am not brave enough to attualize.
The only thing I wanted to hear from him, at the time, was to let me try, and see how it would have gone. Nothing more (as I did try the university he suggested me and I lost one year the same. So I could have reached the same result, but trying a new experience I feeeelt trying, stepping out of my comfort zone. Something that, after that, I am terrified of doing, maybe because of that awful-to-me episode.
I am working with my therapist and I am strongly considering doing a family session to discuss this topic, as we didn’t found any middle ground and my insecurites only got bigger.
I just needed some encouragement, nothing more😔 maybe I’d failed! Who cares! But that experience was felt at the right moment for me. He always denied any things too far of his own comfort zone for me and I let him do that with almost a light heart, but this one thing was too deep for me that now I kind of annihilated that part. And I am forever scared to confront him because he would only let out evil words that would destroy my mind.
I’d need a hug right now🥺