My dad disowned me.
Yep. My dad is an absolute @ss and disowned me because “I was talking shit”(I was telling the rest of my family how he was yelling at my mom for me not shaving my legs) and being “disrespectful”(I don’t answer his calls because he only ever calls during work or when I’m asleep).
Well, because of this, I’ve found out he’s disowned almost half of the others too. He doesn’t go to any holidays, and he stoped my sister from calling my cousin(who used to be bfffl’s).
You wanna know one better? He’s not even in the same ducking state at the moment. He learned from my aunt, who told him that so he would get his head out of his butt. He disowned me over a text message then blocked me.
So, yea. This happened a few days ago, I’m dealing with it, that’s not really what I want advice for. I honestly don’t mind being disowned by him because once again: he’s an @ss.
What I need advice for is the fact that he’s forcing everyone in our family to choose sides. I’ve just told everyone what happened so they won’t be confused when he doesn’t call me his daughter, and he’s saying that “yea I disowned her, so she’s not any of our families, she won’t be at any holidays yada yada.” WELL. Jokes on him. Literally no one enjoys his bull shit and is still talking to me. Hell, I’m still invited to 4th of July, and they uninvited HIM. So, yeah.
He’s now going around saying that everyone’s choosing my side, and no one is actually taking his(which honestly, who would if they knew the full story). Even my mom’s parents, who still kept in touch after breaking up, blocked him and have been making sure I’m alright and everything.
So, I’m still in the family, just not HIS. And it’s pissing him off. But I know my dad. I know ME, and what I got from the bast@rd. He won’t back off so easily. He didn’t with my older siblings, he won’t with me. So this is what I need help with.
I’m eighteen, so I’m no longer a minor, so I need help knowing what I can do and/or report as an adult. And what the rest of my family can do if he tries harassing them into disowning me as well.
(Speaking of disowned siblings, thanks to this, i found out im an AUNT!!!!!!)
Comments
Time to go no contact, block calls, ignore his immature antics and tell family if they want to hang out they can talk to you directly. Don’t entertain rumors or gossip spread by your dad. Cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings are not carrier pigeons. If he eventually wants man up he can apologize to you directly and cut the bs.
“What I need advice for is the fact that he’s forcing everyone in our family to choose sides”
What kind of advice do you need for this? I’m not sure there is much you can do let alone can get help figuring out how to do…
Wow, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that honestly, good for you for standing your ground. Since you’re 18, keep records if he tries to harass or threaten you block him if you can, and if he won’t stop, you can look into a no-contact order. Tell your family to do the same and just stick together it sounds like you’ve got way more love around you than he’ll ever have.
Sorry you have to deal with this situation, crappy for sure.
As for advice, there is nothing you can do to him unless he breaks a law. Both you and him can choose who you do and do not want to speak to.
All you can really do is tell the rest of your family the truth and let them decide for themselves. Those who decide to keep talking to you, GREAT keep a relationship with them.
Those that decide to stop talking to you, GREAT you don’t need people like that in your life anyway.
Focus on YOU, focus on healing, focus on what you want out of life and leave the rest behind. The right people will show themselves and be part of your life.
I read this somewhere and I think it applies:
If I get bit by a rattlesnake, I don’t chase it down and ask why it bit me and what I did to deserve it. No, I focus on getting help and moving on with my life and learn how to not make that mistake again.
Hope everything works out for you. Good luck
You have to clarify what actual power he had and plan for that.
Anticipate what type of harassment he might try, and in the end it will likely be saying mean words, and that’s not hard to block.
Any plan you make has to be based on various hypothetical scenarios. Have words and actions planned for each possible scenario.
Also make an effort to get closer to your family, they are your allies here and they will be stronger if they are presently full of love for you and remembrance of you.