I’m a 15 yr old girl and my dad isn’t okay with me starting to date yet. So I’ve never had a boyfriend before but feel like I want one. We’re really close and I feel like I can talk to him about most things, but he can be strict about certain things like dating. I think he’s mostly worried about me doing sexual things with a guy because he’s mentioned it when I’ve tried to talk to him about how I want to start dating/have a boyfriend.
That, and he thinks I’m too young to have a boyfriend at 15 and shouldn’t focus on this right now. I see other people my age in relationships and feel a little left out because I can’t (my friend even has a boyfriend, so her parents are okay with her dating but still have strict rules about it).
Comments
15 is too young. Wait a while. 35 would be a good age for any daughter to date, lol.
*Dad with daughters comment above.
Listen to your dad
Dad here. Your father is trying to protect you. There is no other man in the world you should listen to more than him. He wants what’s best for his princess. “Dating” implies too much at your age. Ask him to go to a movie with a friend. That’s different.
He cares about you
Let’s be honest, no matter what he says you can go behind his back and date anyway.
Having said that though, I had my first proper relationship from 15-17 and while it was fun and all… Am I glad it’s over and I can just go about on my own. Honestly I don’t think I’d say that I’d do it again since high school finished, sixth form too, starting university. So many things where it just gets set back a bit by being in a relationship.
Just my two pence
These comments are weird as hell.
15 is an appropriate age to start dating and learning about relationships with supervision. All these “hur hur 40-year-old first date daughter mine” morons aren’t real answers.
Edit: Look at OP’s post history. They’ve got their head on straight enough to know their boundaries.
I assume you’re a sophomore or junior in high school, that’s an appropriate age to start dating. Does he expect you to wait until you graduate,go into adulthood and not know what you’re getting into?? It’s better to start dating around this age so you can weed out certain kinds of people and/or behavior and know what to look for or avoid as you get older.
Don’t worry about missing out or feeling left out, none of that will matter after high school, you’ll have college to work all that out. 15 is really young though, don’t try and rush things for the sake of rushing things, lol.
I understand your dad as a father of three girls. I would consider myself to be on the stricter side, too. Ask if he would be okay with double dates? We allow that when they the girls are 16. Offer up a curfew, don’t go crazy and say 1 am, maybe 11-11:30pm to start. Allow home to meet everyone going out and give your parents a pretty definitive itinerary, dinner, movie and possibly ice cream. If he allows you to make sure and give him several of the other kids phone numbers. I had them, but never called them. You could also allow tracking on your phone.
I don’t know your dad. He has had a whole life with varying experiences with love, dating, heartbreak and sex. He probably doesn’t remember what its like to not know all of that. Plus you are in the middle of puberty. Everything must seem so dramatic to you. For him barely any time has passed since you were 12, emotionally i mean. Try talking to him about „talking to him“ first. Like how you don’t know how to approach him about this and how to share things if he only blocks it. See how that goes and establish a way for you both to be comfortable talking about it.
Also there is a new crash course on youtube about sex ed. Watch it and tell all your friends. American schools are bad at sex ed and CrashCourse is as usual very good at informing people about topics.
Good luck with your dad.
Make it clear that part of being a parent to a teen is learning to pull back boundaries in a safe and controlled way. Failure to do so is a a failure of parenting. It leaves you without having developed the muscles to stand on your own if you’ve always had to be confined under strict no-dating rules.
He can either back off and allow some level of dating, or he’s throwing you to the wolves the second you turn 18 and can go legally leave and do whatever you want – and you will have not prepared to do so, leaving you easy prey for predatory men.
By keeping a hard ban on dating, he encourages you to either:
a) Do it behind his back and engage in a pattern of learning to “lie better” to him, take more risks, and drastically increase the likelihood you end up sexually assaulted / date raped, pregnant, etc.
b) Go crazy the second you are not under his direct, immediate control – in which case you’ll go give 1000 BJ’s to every guy you can find in a giant “F@CK YOU I DO WHATEVER I WANT” explosion.
It is 100% normal for you to be interested in dating at this age.
Parents who prohibit dating often do so out of fear (safety, heartbreak, sexuality, cultural values).
Realize this isn’t about control for its own sake—it’s about love, concern, and (sometimes outdated) ideas about readiness.
Instead of jumping straight to “I’m allowed to date now with zero restrictions,” propose gradual steps:
Group outings with friends (and the person you’re interested in).
Supervised hangouts or family in near vicinity options
Parents still driving you to/from specific public locations for dates.
Clear communication about where, when, and with whom. Setting your own curfews or “check-in” rules.
Don’t ask these people. Head to r/daddit. I am a dad. I have a boy and I cannot give you a comparison. Understanding your dads point of view would help you counter argue and come up with a compromise. I’m sure as a dad, he is worried.
As an adult who was allowed to date at that age, I’ll tell you it really isn’t all that. At 15, it’s nice to have friends, but to date at that age really impacted my life, and I wish I would’ve waited. Try not to compare yourself to your friend either. In my experience, my parents only let me do most of what I wanted because they didn’t want to deal with me. My friends with strict parents are far more successful in life and relationships. The ones of us that our parents let date early, all got out of hand and ended up in situations we’d be better off without.
It is normal to want to date, especially when we see our friends doing it too. But consider your dad only wants to keep you safe. Maybe talk to him, and suggest “group dates” groups of friends getting together for a movie or bowling. Maybe that will help him be a little more comfortable as you won’t be alone with anyone.
Is your mom involved? Could you both sit with your dad and talk about it?
I hope you can come to a conclusion that works for both of you. But just try not to rush it. Good luck to you!
I am 33 and I met my wife when I was 15. Comment section feels weird. 15 is fine to be dating. Just because you go on a date with someone does not mean something sexual is happening. As long as you are still focused on school I don’t see why there is such an issue.
You won’t convince him.
But you’ll do it secretly like teenagers always have.
Most likely, your dad doesn’t want you to get pregnant, so he doesn’t want you to have a boyfriend at all. This is not the right way for him to approach this, as clearly you can have sex without the commitment. I’d try to have a safe sex conversation with your dad, explaining that in no way do you intend to start having sex, you’re just looking for companionship and fun.
Is your mom in the picture at all? If so, have the conversation with her first and try to get her on your side and then present a united front to dad.
Good luck!
Children play in order to learn things. You’re at an age where you’re not dating to marry, but you should be dating other people your age. You need to learn the social dynamics of a relationship, and you need to learn them in a low-risk environment.
Ask your dad: Would he rather you learn how to establish boundaries with a partner when dating in high school, or after your husband comes home drunk and beats the shit out of you? Would he rather you learn to identify an asshole now or after marrying the aforementioned guy?
Yes, you will get heartbroken. Yes, you will make mistakes. That is the whole point of it.
You need experience in a low-risk environment. This is literally it.
Everyone saying you need to be 100% ready before dating don’t get the nature of how humans learn. Nobody says “don’t rehearse until you’re ready for the big play.” Nobody says “don’t play war games until you’re ready to die in a trench.” Nobody says “don’t play with LEGOs until you have a building permit.” Yet those are functionally the same as saying “don’t date until you’re ready to marry.”
Let your father know he can’t protect you forever. You need to learn how to protect yourself, and it would be best if you could learn it while he’s around to back you up and offer guidance.
You need to convince him that you are mature enough.
“Yes, I understand that I need to have the guy wear a condom at all times. Yes, I understand that the choking during sex trend is fucking stupid and dangerous. I will not be talked in to doing anything that I am not comfortable with.”
If you agree with these statements, maybe you’ll be able to persuade him that you can be trusted with a guy.
You say you have good communication with him, so ask him why he doesn’t want you to date. Tell him you want to. Tell him why you want to. Tell him your intentions and do your best to be open and honest about sex.
I was fearful for my daughter entering the dating world, and at 15 she was convinced by some boy that if he didn’t have sex he was going to end up in the hospital or some shit. She wasn’t ready for sex, and I’m sad for her that was her first experience. Best case scenario is your dad is trying to protect you from something like that and the two of you can talk through his concerns.
15 is perfectly normal.
Or you can wait until you’re mid 20s and struggle to figure it out while everyone else is fine. You need social practice.
I’m surprised everyone’s saying 15 is too young, most kids I knew when growing up started having girlfriends a bit before or around that age. Some of them may have been “fooling around” but a lot weren’t, they just liked each other and would do sweet things for each other. A lot of kids (but obviously not all) wouldn’t feel comfortable with anything sexual at young ages anyways.
The only real issue I could think of would be sexual things, I’d expect it’s very hard to figure out how to handle that all as a parent, but realistically that’s also something you don’t have full control of. Realistically you do your best to raise them with some kind of understanding of sex-ed and to be careful, because whether you “allow” them or not, you will never fully know what they’re doing when you’re not around.
Otherwise, unless they’re just a bad influence on you, it shouldn’t really matter.
I’ve definitely heard of parents being strict on whether their kid can have a boyfriend or girlfriend before, so it’s not entirely shocking, but because a lot of comments are saying you’re too young, I just felt like chiming in with another perspective.
I’m not telling you to disobey your dad, I don’t know your scenario, but to me it’s not unreasonable to want a boyfriend at your age.
I would suggest not talking to your dad about dating as a concept but more about specific instances where you would like start a relationship. Like it’s hard to give a carte blanche on “dating” but if there is a boy from school that you are interested in maybe you can talk to your dad about how that is and how you would like to build that relationship. It might be easier for your dad to stomach if it’s less of a free for all.
My parents had a rule-no car dates until I was 16. Well I got a boyfriend at 14 and was allowed to hang out at his house and he at mine. We had sex in my bedroom with the door open and my parents right down the hall. I was pregnant at 15. Idk what you can take from my story-use it as a warning that 15 may be too young OR you can look at it as kids are gonna do what they are gonna do despite what the parents want. 🤷
These comments are super gross to be reading as a fellow dad.
I’m in my early 20s now and looking back, I firmly believe both parties in my relationship when I was 18 were incompetent of actually taking responsibility of their roles simply because we did not have the maturity to handle what it came with.
I don’t blame you if a romantic relationship appeals to you, but I can assure you that once you find out the regular crisis couples (especially young) have to go through, you’d be focusing on your own. After all, only the good parts of a relationship are publicised, the fights, arguments, disagreements are kept behind closed doors.
Honestly these comments are kind of wack. Your age is perfectly normal to start dating. That doesn’t mean being sexually intimate, I would encourage you to wait until you’re a bit older for that (coming from someone who lost their virginity at your age, I wish I had waited) but it’s perfectly normal to want to experience infatuation/crushes/love at this age. I’m not sure what to do about your dad tho. I would just encourage you to keep being honest with him. It seems like you two are close and lying will probably splinter your relationship. Parents typically find out one way or another.
We could sit here all day and talk about whether your dad is being reasonable or unreasonable in his decision. But ultimately, I believe that’s the piece that matters the least.
Your dad loves you and is trying to protect you. Dads sometimes make decisions that are objective and well-balanced, and sometimes we make decisions that come from a place of fear and over-protectiveness. There’s no way to know where your dad is coming from – it is possible that, at 15, you are responsible enough to start dating; it is equally possible that your dad sees something that we can’t factor in through the computer. We don’t know.
So I will focus on two things:
1 – The fact that your friends are doing something will never be a good enough reason for you to do it as well. A difficult lesson for a young person, striving for independence, to learn is that you should not compare yourself or your life to others’. But it is also a very important lesson, because comparing what you can or cannot do to what other people can or cannot do will be an ongoing source of discontent. Your life is your life, and you need to navigate it in the reality of where you are. Your reality is that your dad is not ok with dating right now, and if you focus on the fact that some of your friends can, you’ll just bring yourself down.
2 – You are 15. That means your parents make the rules. Going against those rules will never be the proper way to show them that you deserve more trust or more freedoms – quite the opposite. So if your dad doesn’t want you to date because he thinks you are not mature enough yet, for example, disrespecting his rule and going behind his back – like someone in the comments suggested – is only going to reinforce his perception that you’re not mature enough.
Your post shows that you have tried to talk to him about it before. Have you approached it from a place of wanting to understand his reasoning, rather than trying to argue for what you want? My recommendation is that you start there. And that you focus and tailor responses on things you can do to show him that you are mature enough, responsible enough, and trustworthy enough to be given this freedom you seek. And if he changes his position, make sure your actions don’t cause him to regret it. Because that will be worse for your social life than not being able to date now.
Not sure what the hell is happening in this weird-ass thread but you’re in high school, you’re old enough to have boyfriends. Most people start having boyfriends/girlfriends in middle school (ages 12-14.) Being in a relationship and being sexually active are two different things.
You’re your own person, your dad doesn’t own you. You can date whenever you want to start dating. That said, if you live in his house it’s his rules and his consequences. So I suggest you talk to him about your feelings. Tell him that you understand his reservations on dating, but that you’re entering the transitionary period into adulthood (16-21 years old) and he’s going to have to get comfortable with you starting to grow up.
Try to find some compromise. Agree that you won’t start a sexual relationship, since that’s what he’s primarily worried about most likely. Agree to a curfew. Agree that he can meet the young man. Agree that you’ll listen to his feedback and advice. Etc. If a dad can’t talk to his daughter realistically about dating (and eventually sex) he’s a shitty dad.
Realistically, what are you going to do at 15? Go on a date while your father drives?
I don’t really see a problem with that, but your options are limited. You’re a kid. You can’t really work and make money and neither can anyone else your age.
The opinions of strangers on the internet also isn’t really going to make a difference either.
Try to appeal to any sense of empathy in him. I’m sure he dated people in high school so it’s only fair you get to do the same thing. But do realize that parents only restrict certain things like that because they want to protect you from harm. Dating at high school can go from 0 to 100 real quick and given how reckless teenagers can be you probably don’t want to end up heartbroken traumatized or worse.
My input might be different compared to most, but I do think 15 is an appropriate time to at least dip your toes into dating. Your dad is right about being protective, but I don’t think a total shut out is appropriate at all. My parents did that to my siblings and I, and now they wonder why we’re all chronically single in our mid-late 20s while all our friends are already in long term relationships, getting married, and starting families while we haven’t even gotten off the starting point. There needs to be a middle ground, because dating is pretty important for growth and development as a human being, unless you’re aero-ace.
“Dad, I understand you do not like the thought. Maybe I wont either if I have a son sometime. But this is the time I should learn to decipher what is good for me – and what is bad for me. Is your mind set in stone that it is better for me to start learning that when I am farther from home?”
Why not invite the boy you’re interested in to dinner at your house? This would give your dad a chance to meet him and determine if he’s a good guy or not, while giving your dad the satisfaction of the good old “whatever you do to her ima do to you” talk.
Also just from a dad’s perspective, I would say maybe listen to him a little bit. If your first relationship ends up being a bad one there’s a possibility that it could affect future relationships down the road.
You’re not missing anything but pointless heartache, heartbreak, and boys manipulating you into doing something you’re not ready for due to “blue balls”. Listen to your dad and continue learning about yourself. Find a hobby, pick up an instrument, etc.
People need to understand how the brain works and develops more. At 15 you are far more prone to making poor decisions which is why I agree with the dad on this one. It’s better to wait. Sure you can start dating at 15 but it does come at a higher risk. Also relationships are simultaneously the best when they are good but the worst when they are bad and they can seriously get in the way of academic performance. Also because both parties would be very young the chances of one of them messing things up and causing issues in the relationship are just strictly higher. I remember alot of kids in high-school and middleschool had the worst relationship drama. I don’t think I really saw that in college.
When you get older, you will realize what a ridiculous statement that is at the end there.
You want a boyfriend because your friend has a boyfriend and you feel left out. 🤣
Your father is trying to protect you. He was once a young man too and knows what is going on in a young man’s hormonal mind. 🤷🏽♂️
I agree with you that 15 is a normal age for kids to start dating. If you were a boy I highly doubt he would care.
If you have shown that you are mature in all other actions then I would approach it in that manner. By bringing examples of how you have shown “maturity” in your decision making.
You are getting a lot of radicicolous answers in here from men who play the “My daughter is not dating until 30. Hurr, hurr. I know how boys are and what they want!”
As a Dad myself, IMO and what I tell my teens, is if you are not prepared to build a life and possible make a baby then it’s better to just have friends, study and prepare until you reach that point where you are ready. Usually once you get a trade or skill as you cannot count on a spouse/partner being there forever, abandoned/passed-away. Same for boys as the girls.
Listen to dad. One of mine wanted to date but she was a young 15. I asked her not too and to wait.
And when it’s time to date, please use protection.
Worst thing you can do while asking for something, is mention how other girls your age are already dating. That would get you nowhere. But you really should listen to him.
listen to your dad.
Stick to school. Boys are really dumb at your age, like it’s not even funny. I remember how I was at 15.
Hey there- my daughter is your age. She’s not allowed to date until she’s 16 because I want her to be independent and mobile if she needs to be, so she’s not reliant on her relationships for transportation.
I think you should try to understand why (or who) you want to date. What’s the why. Once you have an answer, ask why again, so that you can really drill down into your motivation.
If you do that and you still feel this way, then go and have the talk with Dad and let him know how you feel. Ask him what his expectations and concerns are, and how you guys can work together to find common ground.
15 is young but maybe he feels different about 16?
The problem I have with dating at such a young age is that it isn’t just going out on dates with various people – it’s immediate coupling – aka boyfriend and girlfriend status.
Once upon a time girls and guys would date multiple people because it was more casual. Going steady would be a BIG deal, and it wasn’t assumed.
Now 14 year olds are sucking off their boyfriends behind the highschool shrubs.
It makes me so so sad.
Dude, romantic relationships take time to figure out. The earlier you start to learn the better. Just be safe and don’t make it your reason for existing. It is creepy how so many dads are overconcerned about their daughters’ sex and romantic lives. Purity culture is BS.
Listen to your dad
Maybe telling him youd be ok with following rules like your friend has on dating- some dads are just too controlling so idk if urs will let you no matter what if im being honest- might just have to wait till u can move out
I’m of two minds on this. Teenager hormones are crazy and will make them do crazy shit. There’s nothing that he can do to prevent you from dating but he is right, there’s a lot of drama that follows dating in your teens.
Focus on your academics first. Get a good education and do what you need to do to be successful in life. Love can come later. Sure, there’s excitement in dating while a teen in highschool, but know that the drama can be distracting. If you go to college, your relationship will change. It’s part of growing up.
Listen to your father, but also know that his experience may be different and why he’s pushing for you to not date.
15 is too young to start dating. But there is nothing wrong with getting in a relationship with someone from your friendgroup that you like. Tell your father that having feelings is not something you can be too young for
I don’t think he’s being unreasonable, but maybe suggest group dating to him. I think it’s a good idea not to spend time alone with any guys until you have some experience with guys in a group setting. Another option is to go on dates with one of your parents as a chaperone. Do you go to dinner with a guy, but your dad drives you there and sits at another table or if you go to a movie he sits in a chair a little ways away from you. Many guys might not be ok with this, but you don’t want to date any guy that wouldn’t respect your parents rules anyways.
You will never have another man in your life that has no motive other than for you to live long and be happy.
Millions of girls have rushed to grow up and many pay the price.
Listen to your dad. He was 15 once. He knows.
Men who are the most “strict” about their daughters dating are usually that way because they were predatory pieces of shit when they were younger and assume everyone else is. Or religious nuts. Or both. Dating at 15 is totally normal.
Would he feel more comfortable if you invited a boy over to hang out?
Your dad might just want reassurance that you’re mature enough to handle a relationship like this responsibly.
It’ll also give him the chance to scare your bf a bit, which dads love to do lol
Honestly, I’d listen to him. My mom was the same way about getting a girlfriend before I turned 18. And looking back it makes sense, especially considering that a lot of high school relationships & younger only have an approximate 2-5% chance of actually lasting into adulthood.
Young girls are so easily taken advantage of by slightly older boys that I don’t disagree at all with your father.
Just enjoy being a kid a little longer.
Honestly, sweetie, your dad is coming from a place of love and concern. I know it feels like he just doesn’t want you to have fun, but he really just wants you to be safe. Introducing boys into the mix at this age can really mess things up and your dad is trying to look out for you. Just because other people your age are dating doesn’t mean that you have to. Believe me, it’s better to do things on YOUR terms and not just because other people are doing it. I wish I had listened to that when I was your age.
Listen to your dad and be patient. You’ll be older before you know it. Patience
As a young woman, I wish I’d felt comfortable with dating earlier. I did a lot of unsafe things when I was 18 and left home. I didn’t know what red flags to look out for and got lucky that I didn’t end up in worse situations. Starting dating now allows you to learn these things while still under your parents’ protection. I wish I’d been comfortable talking to my parents about relationships because then I may have been warned or made aware of certain things. As for sex, you’re at an age where biologically you may want to have it. They should be educating you on it and how to go about it safely at the least. Them explaining why they don’t want you to do it yet will help you understand and make that choice a lot better than them just saying “no.” Again, not being taught the importance of these things I was lucky not to catch an STD that could’ve changed my life forever. I’m lucky none of the people I interacted with online posted my pictures or videos. Even as somebody who’s very intelligent and has always been “mature for my age,” I did a lot of things flippantly apathetic to the potential consequences. Feel free to show your dad what I have said to help him gain perspective. It’s up to him to protect you while you’re still young and my parents not allowing things and not talking them through with me led me to do some potentially dangerous things and this has been the case for many other people. Only many of them had much worse consequences than I did.
Hey, I get that it’s tough seeing your friends date while your dad says no. But it sounds like he really cares and just wants to protect you. At 15, things can get complicated fast, and maybe he sees things in the boys around you that you don’t yet. He’s not trying to ruin your fun. he’s just making sure you’re safe and not rushed into something you’re not ready for. That’s love, even if it feels strict right now.
My advice. Make and grow lasting friendships, focus on learning, and become a good person.
You have plenty of time to date. Dating is better when there isn’t outside pressure. Seems like you are putting that pressure on yourself because you feel left out. Don’t date just anyone because your friends are dating. Focus on who you are and want to be first, the rest will fall in place. You’re young. Enjoy being young. Spend time with friends, focus on learning, and don’t date anyone that disrespects you, ever!
My mom made this same kind of rule for me when I was a teenager and was then heartbroken to find out that she didn’t get to meet my first two girlfriends because I had to keep them a secret. Try asking your dad questions about how this could work in practice. Ask him what you should do if you like a boy and he likes you back. Can you be friends and hang out as long as you don’t call it “dating”? Can you spend time together in groups? Can you tutor each other in school subjects? Keep questioning details of the rule. If he’s smart, he’ll realize how absolutely unenforceable this rule is. These rules all went away for my younger siblings after my mom realized the consequences of trying to police this stuff. Open and honest communication helps way more to keep kids safe than arbitrary rules.
What you imagine and what your dad imagines when you both think about you having a boyfriend are very different.
You need to have a reasonable conversation that brings those perspectives together, that shows you are doing it for the right reasons and that you understand his point of view and the concerns he has as a father.
Honestly, I feel like 16 is the minimum that lids should he dating. I know it doesn’t seem like there’s much difference between 15 and 16, but I promise you there is. You go through A LOT of transitioning at that age, and genuinely, I’ve never met a 15 year old I thought was mature enough to handle a relationship.
Honestly, writing a letter with how you feel and asking for his support and understanding would be the best way. Just say that you think 15 is an appropriate time to have feelings for boys since you’ve already gone through puberty and that you’d introduce him to any boy you wanted to date and that he could agree to let you date him or not? Maybe also add that you’d be going on double dates with friends? I also had strict parents and it’s honestly a sucky situation all the way around. The way I see it though, if the Mormon church lets their kids date at 16 in group dates then so should everyone else.
I think 15/16 is a reasonable age to start dating. If I was ur dad I’d probably sit you down and talk about all the different things to expect in dating (not just sex, mostly what type of men to look for, what red flags to look for etc) I’d want to warn you what red flags would be 100% leave immediately, what emotional manipulation looks like, never meet someone from the internet without a trusted adult or older friend etc. I understand his fears but I thought he’ll realize that by not addressing anything it puts you more at harm. I’d probably say going out for public dates or hanging out at family houses, doors open, and with adults in the home would be completely appropriate and a good compromise. Maybe if you bring up some points like how you’re getting older and it’s going to happen soon and you’d like to have a deep talk about his anxieties about you dating as well as explain why he can trust you. You can bring up boundaries and compromises you guys could agree on so that you can try dating. I know it sucks to talk to ur dad about this at your age and it’s not gonna be a fun talk but it seems you and your dad have a good relationship and I’m sure if you have a good sit down talk you guys could come to an agreement. Good luck OP!
Making good decisions in romance is one of the hardest things humans deal with. That being said, it might be appropriate to start getting experience at your age. I encourage that you express your feelings on this with your father. With a particular emphasis on how you plan to maintain making mature decisions. However, I’m afraid at the end of the day you’re going to have to take his lead on this. Even if he trusts you, he might not trust whoever you choose.
However, chances are, he DOESN’T even trust you completely. You shouldn’t take that personally. He probably has these rules from experience. An uncomfortable thought I know, lol. Every human being at your age (and older) has the capacity to make some really stupid decisions when put in romantic situations. The human brain literally loses its ability to stay completely rational when romance is on the table. Our evolution encouraged those bad decisions for millions of years.
So my advice is to remain completely honest with your father. The most persuasive argument you can make is to show him that you understand the gravity of the situation and the maturity required to navigate it. Suggest ways to maintain safety and accountability. Probably more of his oversight than you would really be comfortable with. But be prepared to still have to make some really difficult and mature decisions going forward. It really fuckin hurts to tell somebody you care about that deeply that you want to stop and slow down. Get home early. Not go somewhere you didn’t clear with your dad first. Especially cuz it won’t be true, you WILL want to do it. Badly. But you need to stop anyway.
15 is still pretty young, I didn’t start until I was 16, and it was messy and screwed with my grades.
first of all you are 15 yr old, go and study and listen to your dad. second point is people should not go into relationship because they want it. listen to your dad otherwise their is a high chance you will ruin your whole life.
15 isn’t too young to start dating, but there are many more years to date ahead of you.
My wife and I met when 15 years old. Married after 12 years of dating (engaged at 10 years), currently married for 8 years.
Maybe also read more about relationship? Most school or public libraries have librarians who can help you find good book. Having an idea of what you want from your early relationship years is probably the best place to start, and learn and grow from there.
if you just want a boyfriend, you’re not ready for a boyfriend. A girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t a some accessory like a laptop or phone. You don’t go get one at the store when you want one.
If there is a particular guy in your life that make you think about a relationship, then try to sell your dad the idea that this guy is responsible and can be trusted to not harm you emotionally or physically.
If there is no particular guy, then you don’t need a boyfriend nor are you ready for one.
Your dad is right. Your friends are wrong.
why not just make friends and enjoy your life. listen to you dad when it comes to dating too soon. if your dad is against it then don’t misplace your dads trust in you just for a boy.
I know it’s not what you want to hear but your Dad is right. I was a 15 year old once and wish I had stayed away from every boy I met in my teens. Did I listen to my parents, nope!
Getting experience interacting romantically with men is a good idea.
Having sex with men outside of committed, long-term relationships is a bad idea.
You just have to get your dad to trust you and trust the guy you want to date. I’ve got a niece I’m pretty close with, almost a 2nd father to her. She’s 14. I’m not thrilled with the prospect of her dating. I know what most teenage boys are after. But I know dating happens. It happened when I was a kid, it happens in TV, in YA books, etc. If she wants to date someone she will, with or without her parents’ permission. Better we just set some guidelines on it, trust her to be reasonable and start making some of her own decisions and mistakes now while we can still help her recover from them easily and she learn she can truly trust us. The alternative is she hides things until it becomes too much to handle and explodes on everyone. Path of least resistance is better.
A lot would say dating later is better. In some ways it is. But in other ways it isn’t. I started dating late. It helped because I was smarter, but it also caused some social problems and a bit more set in my ways, probably missed out on some opportunities because of it.
If you want a boyfriend because your friend has a boyfriend, then you aren’t mature enough to start dating.
This is bait
Dude you’re 15
I’m a dad I have a couple of daughters but they’re much younger, but still. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and he seems like a good dad, just from what I can assume. Let him know you appreciate him, and that he’s taught you well, and that he has to trust you, and that’ll you’ll always call him whenever you need him.
A parent forbidding something is a sure way to get the kid to do it, and I think a 15 year old is naturally ready to start learning about this parent of life, especially one as well rounded (seemingly) as yourself. All you can do is be honest with him and he’ll appreciate it.
My 15 year old was dating while living with his mom. One day, I got the “dad, I f*d up call” and he thought his gf was pregnant.
Now, he realizes that I told him to avoid this because he wasn’t ready… he now understands why he wasn’t ready.
Speaking as a girl dad and also as a former 15-year-old boy, I certainly understand where your dad is coming from. I was strict with my daughter – but she handled herself pretty well. (Now that she’s grown up I got the more unfiltered version but I survived learning what was really up).
Things my daughter told me after she was a complete adult and paying her own way:
But mostly I think she appreciated that I actually cared enough to care. Sounds like your dad is trying to do that too.
Dad here. Sit down and talk to him, find out what’s in his head. It will be an uncomfortable conversation, so be prepared for that. As much as it hurts, our kids grow up and we have to let them make some mistakes on their own. It’s either you go on your first date while you live at home and have your dad to fall back on or you wait until college or being on your own without any clue how to pick up on the red flags.
Is there a boy or girl you have in mind, or are you just looking for permission in case it happens?
How do you deal with school dances? Has that come up yet? For a lot of dads, that is the intro to our kids dating.
Have you had the talk with your parents yet? By your age you should have talked to them about something. If not, there’s a bigger problem.
Remember, your dad was once 15. It was a long time ago. He knows what they’re like and what they want.
Good luck.
He’s a wise man single is the way to go!
Maybe not jump into ‘boyfriend’ but start seeing if maybe you can have a guy over to the house while he’s there
W dad.
Go to /r/daddit for answers from a real perspective.
Most of the responses here are from men without children.
Most kids start to date in high school. He’s delusional if he thinks otherwise. But I’m not a dad, what do I know
Your dad’s probably just thinking about the worst case scenario and not the benefit that dating can have in terms of growing up and gaining life experience.
At any rate, prohibition doesn’t work in the slightest, but just be smart if you start dating. Set your boundaries and don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. That’s really important.
Now is the time your father has an influence on you. Now is the best time for him to teach you about dating; about guys.
For him, this should be the best time, where you want to do this, and he can help assist, provide a male perspective, and any moral support and fatherly advice he can give.
He can’t do this when you move out and he has less say on your life.
Ask your dad what kind of boy he was and would you have needed to avoid him had yall met. His insistence is worrying me based off of how HE was a a teenager. Open dialogue is important as is understanding one another.
Don’t find a boyfriend because you want one, find a boy you like and have them as your boyfriend.
If it helps, it has nothing to do with your age. When you’re in your 40s he’ll feel exactly the same lol
This is pretty important, holding someone back will probably leave someone ignorant and naive and easily taken advantage of if they start dating when they are out in the world, alone, with the real predators and abusers. Same thing happens so often with the sudden freedom that comes with turning 21 with alcohol in college. Easy access, no idea what you’re doing or risking, kids start dieing from easily avoidable mistakes. Back to dating, its better to ease into intimacy slow over time, 15-16 is great cuz youre all learning together.
Y’know … I’m sending you my very warmest hugs, if you’ll accept them … while I say this:
I’m an old Gramma who was a teenager in the ’70’s when things were pretty different. And I dated a lot. But there’s something that will NEVER change.
Having a boyfriend because you’re feeling left out … that’s never a good reason to have a boyfriend. That means you’ll just wind up with some guy who doesn’t share who you ARE as a real live person. The whole relationship will just be about being in a relationship. It will be surface stuff that doesn’t mean anything that will make you feel good about yourself. You’ll probably wind up disappointed or maybe even hurt, emotionally, or worse.
Is 15 too young? Not in my eyes, BUT … don’t make the mistake of being with someone just because you feel alone and left out. You’ll wind up feeling even worse.
So … my daughter is grown and off and married … I’m going to say to you exactly what I would, and did, say to her:
If you come to me, at age 15, and asked to date this absolutely AWESOME guy, you met at school. You both have so much in common, and he says things that encourage you, and he’s funny, and you laugh so much, and he makes you feel safe … I would say HELL YEAH! GO FOR IT. I’d talk about some things you should know, but I would love that you’ve found someone so good for you.
But … If you come to me saying you want a relationship with anyone who will do it, because you feel left out? I’d say exactly what your Dad is. Don’t do it.
Hon … Wait until you find that awesome guy, FIRST. Somebody worth fighting your Dad for. Worth upsetting your life, because that guy is so good for you. Do that first. Don’t fight to date until you’ve found the utterly awesome guy worth fighting for.
And if it doesn’t happen until you’re 20, then you’ve saved yourself a lot of the bad crap that most ladies I know now regret.
Be patient, hon. Find that awesome guy worth fighting your Dad for.