So, lately my dad is worrying too much about my future. I know he cares a lot about me but it is making me feel bad about me being the reason for his distress. It’s a contradiction. I appreciate that he cares so much about my future and my well being but I can’t see him so stressed. I turned 18 last year and will be going to college starting fall of this year. My dad and I have had conversations about what I should pursue, which fields are relevant and what degree should I opt for. That was last week and since then I have not talked to him about this matter. I kinda feel the weight of the world on to me. Truth is, I am not really sure what am I doing. I have not decided on my preferred career choice and it’s bugging me and as a result my father. He worries about my health especially as I am very prone to getting sick. I have asthma and there have been instances where I have felt shortness of breath when in tight spaces and have required assistance from others. I wonder if all those contributed in him being so distressed. What should I do?
My dad keeps stressing about my future
r/Advice
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You are not giving any information about what he is stressing about or any conversations you’ve had.
Girl my dad is too like just go with the flow it’s your life
Its natural for our parents to worry about our future….. let him know whatever he wants to know.. doesn’t matter if he gets satisfied with your explanation or not.. just explain him your plans …make him proud….
To give solid advice, we’d need a bit more context. What exactly is he stressing about? Is it your career path, grades, finances, or something else? Have you already had in-depth conversations with him about your goals or plans for college? And are you personally feeling unsure about your direction, or do you have an idea of what you want but still feel pressured? Without those details, it’s tough to say whether a talk will help or if there’s a deeper disconnect. If you’re open to sharing more, we’re here.
I’d be open about it.
Dad you’re stressing me out about being stressed out about MY future. At some point I am gonna have to get on with this on my own. I know you care but this is not the way! I will find my path!
(And no I’m not going to get a degree in fine art or basketmaking).
It partly depends on where you live and what the job market looks like in your country. I’m a parent of two kids myself (one of them just turned 18), and we live in Poland. Here, things are relatively stable and the job market isn’t too harsh.
My son is finishing high school right now and still doesn’t really know what he wants to do. What I hope for him is that he finds a job he enjoys — or at least one that isn’t frustrating and allows him to support himself. Even if he ends up picking a field of study or a job that doesn’t suit him, I’ll be encouraging him to change direction. To me, as a parent, it’s fascinating to watch his life unfold.
I also believe in him — but I’m okay with the idea that life might knock him down a bit here and there. Those experiences can be incredibly valuable too.
That said, as I mentioned, I’m speaking from the perspective of someone living in a country where life is pretty decent and forgiving. It might feel different elsewhere, but talking to your dad honestly might help both of you. For sure, just wants the best for you — but he might not realise how much pressure you’re feeling.
That’s fairly standard for college parents!
I fell for the “follow your passion” route and that flopped. There were no careers in any of that (art, history, and english) The trick now is to choose something that will be safe from AI automation in the future. I would do nursing or something medical, if I could do it all again.
maybe do something with him to de-stress? get an ice cream, go for a hike, ride bikes, whatever.
You don’t have to have everything figured all out at age 18.
My advice would be to go to community college and get your general studies out the way. It’s a lot cheaper, and you’ll come out with an Associate’s Degree. Them, transfer to the university and choose the major you want. Use the time you’re taking your English 101 and Algebra classes to figure out what you want to do with your life.
Whatever you do, do a lot of research and choose a field that you will actually make enough money to support yourself. A degree in Women’s Studies or Russian Literature is worthless. Half the baristas are highly educated people with degrees that the only place that will hire them is Starbucks.
You’re 18. Everyone your age feels the weight of adulthood on their backs. Do you know what you want to do for a living? What makes you happy? Sometimes people don’t know what they want to do until much later in life. Your dad wants you to be a successful adult. It will come to you. I have a friend who paid off her college debt 30 years after college for a degree she never went into (jewelry making-who knew that was a major?).
My parents still stress about my life. They still tell me all the things they feel I’m doing wrong. They still try to tell me what I should do, & still get mad at me for not doing what they want.
I’m 57 years old, have 6 adult children & 2 grandchildren. (I’ve also gone LC/NC, but that’s another story)